"I'm sorry," he murmured. "Yori," Ryota said, his voice revealing the pent up emotions he was trying to keep at bay, though they were not just those that burned at the surface. He almost lost him, this man who he loved beyond reason, this man who let him understand exactly what he was missing in his life. "Yori, I know, Yori. It wasn't your fault, none of this was your fault." "Yes, but.." Yori argued, "if I wasn't an omega, maybe..." "Yori!" Ryota stopped him with more harshness than he meant to, but he couldn't bear to hear the man begin to depreciate himself. He had hoped that they were past that, that Yori was beginning to have more confidence in himself. He already had begun to show that side that only those closest to him would ever know, yet that bastard had him retreating into his shell! Ryota took a deep breath and snaked a finger beneath Yori's chin forcing him to look at him and Yori finally met his eyes for the first time that day. "Yori, this is not about you being an omega and him being an Alpha. He can use all the excuses he likes, the police know that you did not invite his attentions, that he was not under the spell of omega pheromones! Yori, I know." "But.. you are angry," Yori whispered. "Of course I am," Ryota agreed. "I'm angry that the bastard tried to rape you. I'm angry that he thinks he can get away with it still! I'm angry that I wasn't here to protect you. And maybe I am a little angry with you." Yori's head flopped downward, unable to maintain eye contact. "I'm angry that you think you have any blame in this." He rubbed his hands up and down the omega's back. "I want you to understand that you don't. I want you to tell me that you understand that you are not to blame." "I'm not to blame?" Yori did not meant to make this sound like a question, but it spilled from his throat that way regardless. "Yori," Ryota reprimanded. "Try again." "I'm not to blame." This time it came out as a whisper, but Ryota let it slide. He would have Yori repeat this again a thousand times, until his lover truly believed it, but sensed it would take time. "Do you know, I was looking forward to come here this evening," Ryota told him. "I had an idea about what you wished to speak with me about, thanks to Aisha and felt honoured that you chose to speak with me in person about it rather than just by text. She said that was how you let her know you would be out of touch, but never told her why until after the fact." "That's true," Yori said into Ryota's chest. He longed to nestle into the warmth and shelter that the man offered, but remained hesitant. "I had forgotten." "Will you tell me now?" Ryota urged him. "I'm going into heat soon," he said, his words still slightly muffled. "I'll be unreachable for three weeks." It was easier to hold this conversation glancing at Ryota's lap than his face, he felt. Seconds later, he decided he was mistaken and shot back suddenly, his cheeks aflame. A look of accusation came over his face. Ryota did not look abashed in the slightest. "I am not going to apologise for how I react to you, react to the idea of you being in heat. I love you and I want you, but I would never force myself on you." "I know that!" Yori said, his voice finally no longer meek. "I know that..." It was at that moment, the events of that day clicked in his mind, as if the haze of denial that had surrounded him since he regained consciousness had suddenly lifted. Water began to fill his eyes as his feelings broke through and began to overflow. "It wasn't my fault, I didn't do anything, but I almost lost the freedom to be with you! I hate that! Why did he have to do that?" "Who knows what goes through the minds of schemers and fools," Ryota said, wanting nothing more than to pull Yori back into his arms to comfort him, but Yori simply held onto his open arms and resisted. "Will you bond with me?" Yori asked him suddenly, but Ryota immediately sensed that this request was not made for the right reasons. "Yori..." he began, but was swiftly interrupted. "I'm not holding you to a commitment," Yori said in unneeded reassurance, confirming Ryota's thought. "I just don't want to be with anyone else, ever. I..." Ryota placed a finger upon his lips to silence him. "When you truly believe that I love you and I wish to be with you always, then I would be honoured to bond with you. But right now, you don't believe that do you." Yori wished to say that he did, that of course he did, but the words would not pass his lips. Instead he said; "You don't want me?" "I want you," Ryota replied. "I love you. And when the time is right, nothing on this Earth will stop me from bonding with you. I swear. But I will not bond with you just to ease your fears, Yori. That's not the sort of relationship I want with you." "Then what do you want?" "I want your heart, your mind, your soul," Ryota told him. "I want you to look at me and think this man is mine. I want you to trust that even were you a Beta or an Alpha or even if there was no second gender, that I would still wholeheartedly want and love you. But I know you are not ready to accept just how much I want you, Yori. So we won't bond when your heat begins this time, Yori. And we maybe we won't the next time. But even if we can never bond, I plan to keep you by my side for the rest of my life." Yori did not push him away this time when Ryota reached for him, simply made himself more comfortable within the man's embrace. Author's note; me and this chapter did not get along at all! Hopefully it comes across okay though.