Chapter 44
I pulled up to the entrance, letting Aaron get out first. The parking lot was mercifully empty, and I parked as quickly as I could. I had to hold Morgan back from taking off without me. When we walked through the sliding glass doors, Aaron stood at the triage desk, Sam cradled against his chest.
“Yes, he’s having retractions,” I heard him say. A buzzer rang off to the side, and he moved toward it without hesitating. “It’s about time.”
Morgan pulled at my arm. “Don’t we get to go in?”
Aaron paused in the doorway, his eyes meeting mine for a moment before he looked down at Morgan. “I’ll come get you as soon as they’ve got him stable. I promise.”
“We’ll be here,” I said, just before Aaron disappeared behind the swinging doors.
Morgan’s grip tightened. “What’s going on?”
I hadn’t picked Morgan up in years, but he let me scoop him off his feet and carry him to a nearby chair, where I settled him on my lap. “Sam’s sick, but they’re going to use a special machine, and then he’ll be able to breathe on his own.”
“Why can’t we go back there?”
“Because the doctors need room to work, and we might get in the way. Now, I need you to be brave for Aaron, okay? Because he’s scared right now, too.”
Morgan sank against my chest, his little face pinched. I wished I could be in two places at once, comforting Morgan and supporting Aaron. I tried to distract us both by talking about taking a trip to the aquarium to make up for the trip Morgan missed. I was describing the sharks when Aaron emerged, his shirt wrinkled and his face pale.
“He’s stable?” I asked.
He nodded. “They’re going to leave him on the respirator until the meds take full effect. Probably another hour or so, to be safe. Morgan, you can come back and see him if you want, but he’s not going to be able to talk, okay?”
“Okay.”
Aaron held the door open for Morgan to come through, but touched my wrist lightly as I stepped past him. “Thank you,” he mouthed silently.
“Are you okay?” I asked under my breath.
His lips parted to answer, but then his gaze slid sideways to where Morgan waited. He smiled at my son before turning back to me. “Better that you’re here.”
We followed him silently through the antiseptic corridors. He strode with the confidence that came from familiarity, and my heart broke a little bit more for him. Of course, he was familiar with the ER hallways. How many hours had he spent here? How many visits? He’d talked about it, but it had never really hit home until now. I wished I could promise him that he would never have to do it again, but even if I could, he’d never believe me. This was his and Sam’s life. No wonder he was protective of it.
When Morgan hesitated at Sam’s door, Aaron rested his hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “It’s okay. I was scared the first time I had to go in, too.”
Morgan nodded. Together, we followed him inside.
Sam looked tiny in the hospital bed, though it didn’t help that the machine they had him hooked up to was gigantic. Electronic beeps underscored the sound of his breathing, but it didn’t sound as bad as it had back at the house. The blue at the corners of Sam’s mouth was gone, too. Still, it would’ve been wonderful if he hadn’t been in the hospital at all.
“Are you sure he’s okay?” Morgan whispered, visibly distressed at the sight of the machine.
I squeezed his shoulder gently. “Yes. Go say hi, let him know that you’re here.”
Morgan shuffled to the bed, his eyes wide and pensive. He was just tall enough to see over the side of the bed. “Sammy? Can you hear me?”
Sam’s eyes fluttered open and he rolled his head to the side. As Aaron said, the ventilator prevented him from speaking, but he still tried to smile.
“Are you all right?”
Sam weakly lifted his hand, forming a circle with his thumb and finger. He looked exhausted, but not afraid. My heart broke again for him. I didn’t know how Aaron could handle this. If it were Morgan in Sam’s place, I’d be losing my mind.
Though there was an empty chair in the room, Aaron didn’t sit. He stood off to the side, well in view if Sam wanted to see him, but giving Morgan and Sam as much privacy as he could. His eyes never left Sam’s form. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but the shadows under his eyes had deepened in the time since we’d bounded up the stairs in his house.