Chapter 72

“No?” My heart sinks. Everything I have planned involves Ben using his magic to help me figure out how to bring back Jacques. “You can’t not do this. I need you and your magical knowledge to save Jacques. Did you not hear about how he was there for me and helped me? I can’t just leave him.”

Ben straightens the collar of his ghostly short coat. “This is for your own good. You’ll see in time that this Jacques,” he says the name like it tastes bad, “was only using you to get what he wants. Vampires are only after blood.”

“Not Jacques. He doesn’t drink blood or even need it anymore—he’s a ghost.”

“Then there is something he craves to sustain him. Your essence perhaps?” He arches a brown eyebrow.

“Do either you or Kiarr need anything now that you are ghosts?” I counter.

“We’re different.” He scowls. “We weren’t vampires when we died. To make a vampire, the soul is fractured. Only a sliver of their humanity remains and, in many cases, not even that much.”

“I refuse to believe that.” I cross my arms and plop down on the bed. “I don’t know how I know or how to explain it or why, but Jacques, like Angelic, and I’m sure others have more of their soul in them than you think.”

“Let’s not argue about this.” Kiarr sits beside me on the bed. “It’s late for ye lass and ye need your rest.”

“But what about Jacques?” My chest aches and I blink back tears of frustration. Why can’t this be easy? “We can’t leave him out wherever he is.”

Ben marches to the window, looking out at the night.

“Battles are lost if yer tired.” Kiarr pats my knee. “Get some rest, Brene. I’ll talk with Ben later. He’s only concerned about your safety.”

I nod, but it feels more like Ben is taking this way more personally than he should be. “Would you give me a moment alone with Ben, please?”

“One hour and then I’m laying ye in yer bed and holding onto to ye all night so ye sleep.”

“Don’t know if that’s the best way to get me to sleep.” The temperature in the room suddenly feels twenty degrees hotter. And as much as I want to give in right now, I need to convince Ben to help me. “I’ll see you in an hour.”

Kiarr nods but leans over and brushes his lips against my mouth making a zing of pleasure wash through me. “I’ll be counting the minutes.”

Then he vanishes before my eyes.

I rub my hands down my school uniform skirt, debating how to begin. How to change his mind when part of me says to wait. Instead of a long, fancy speech, only one word slips out. “Why?”

“I told you.” Ben continues to stare out the window. “Vampires are bloodsucking monsters. Whatever this Jacques told you is a lie.”

I press my palms onto my thighs. “For a long time, I believed like you did. I hated all supernaturals. Thought they were all evil, but I was wrong.”

Ben doesn’t respond and I let out a small sigh, wishing he would open up to me.

“Please, tell me why you can’t trust me in this.”

“Vampires can use their powers to lure their victims to them.” He clenches his fists. “They can use persuasion and compulsion to make you do what they wish until it’s too late. They are like a beautiful spider in a web. Lovely to look at but get too close and you’re tangled in their web for them to devour you.”

I don’t say anything, just wait for him to continue as it feels like this is more personal for him than I first thought.

“You trusted everyone in our previous life.” His voice is soft, like the words hurt him to say. “My baby sister, Victoria, fell in love with a vampire. I was hesitant, but you convinced me that they were truly in love.”

I hold my breath, knowing this isn’t going to be good.

“We even planned a wedding, here at the school.” He inhales a shuddering breath. “Everyone was so excited, and we invited his vampire friends as well. As Victoria leaned in for his kiss to seal their marriage, he bit her, drank her dry.”

My stomach heaves. “I’m so sorry.” I cover my mouth with my hand, knowing I can never apologize enough to make this right. He doesn’t have to continue for me to figure out whatever happened was horrible, but I know he needs to release this horror that he’s carried all this time.

“Then his friends turned on all the guests. The white tents were splattered with blood. There wasn’t a square left clean. I lost everyone that day.” He faces me, his arms locked at his sides. “The mages and I finally killed them all, but not before Victoria, you, my parents and many friends were dead. So, no matter what this Jacques has said, trust me that it’s not the full truth. Take the memory of him, the one in your mind that you have, and cherish that. I pray you will never have to experience the betrayal that Victoria did.”

I had no words. If Ben had told me this before I met Jacques, I would have sided with him wholeheartedly. But now… now I knew in my heart and soul that Jacques does love me and that he did back in my other past life as well.

“There’s nothing I can do to make up what happened to you.”

“Don’t do this.” He squeezes his eyes closed briefly. “That’s how you can grant me peace in what happened. Do not try and rescue this vampire ghost. I will not aid you. I will not be a part of this in any way.”