Chapter 25

I lay awake in bed that night.

The hours that followed midnight were always the quietest. They allowed the incoherent mess of simultaneous voices in my head to be heard and understood.

"Ira?" 

I was startled out of my thoughts to see mom at my door. 

"You're still awake?" she asked, coming in. 

I sat up slowly. "Couldn't sleep." 

"Me neither," she said, sitting down next to me. "Were you thinking about Jace's offer?"

I had told my parents about what Jace had proposed. I had also told them about my decision of not accepting any help from him. Both mom and dad had been supportive of my decision and had said that it was completely my choice to make. 

"No," I said, "I already told you that taking his help is out of the question. I'm thinking about the cafe and the court hearing. It's past midnight now, meaning Monday has already started. We have just one day left." 

Mom smiled. "We will get through this, okay?" 

I nodded, though I was unsure if I could really survive the permanent closure of my cafe. 

"Ira," said Mom, placing a hand on my knee. "Why don't you give Jace's proposal a thought?" 

I stared at her. "What?" 

She shrugged.

"Mom, you know everything," I said, "I am not taking any favors from him. It's because of him that I'm in this position."

Mom nodded in understanding. "I know, Ira, I'm not telling you to accept his proposal. It's your decision to make."

"Then what are you saying?" I asked. 

"I'm asking you to see it through another point of view," she said. "You will be helping Jace by making him a co-owner. He needs this business to settle down here. He is making an investment by buying his share in the cafe, he's not doing any favors. He's helping himself just as much as he is helping you."

"But it still feels like a favor. I'm not ready to trade my self-respect, mom," I said. 

Mom sighed. "My dear, no one is asking you to trade your self-respect. You are a very capable and smart woman. You have achieved feats that have landed you interviews in the newspapers. You have succeeded in your career at such a young age. No one can take all this away from you. We are all so proud of you."

I was quiet. 

"Are you ready to see the cafe shut down? Are you ready to see your dream being torn down?" she asked. 

I shook my head, my eyes welling up at even the mere thought of it. 

"Then?" She looked into my eyes. "Ira, sometimes, it is better to listen to your mind rather than your heart. Because the decisions you make now are permanent. Therefore, you must think long term. Imagine your future in both the scenarios, with and without the cafe. Then make your decision."

She stood up to go. "Goodnight, dear."

"Goodnight," I said.

Mom was right. These decisions were permanent. But my mind and my heart were still at war. 

What do I do? 

"Mom," I said, when she was about to step out of my room. "If you were in my place, what would you do?" 

She glanced back at me and smiled. "I would accept his proposal."

***

I touched the locked doors of Coffee Tales. Every morning, I had rushed in through these doors, without ever stopping and wondering whether there would come a day when it would be my last time stepping foot inside the cafe. 

I bit my lip and moved back, glancing up at the Coffee Tales signage board. I had spent days with the designer to get it done just right. I could still remember the day that it had gone up, I could still taste the exhilaration that I had felt that day. 

Will I really be able to let go of all this? 

Tomorrow, at the hearing, am I ready to surrender my cafe? 

I had no answers. 

The night had passed with more horrors than I could count. Every time that I had closed my eyes, a new nightmare had haunted me. One by one, the other aspects of losing the cafe had gained prominence, making me realize just how much was at stake. 

If there was no Coffee Tales, then where was I going to work? How was I going to earn? What did my future look like? 

And without the income from the cafe, we would be back to struggling for money. No income that I would earn from a job could possibly substitute for the profits from the cafe. I knew that I would probably get a job in some restaurant or hotel. But I also knew the current status of how little they paid as compared to what I was used to. 

Dad would have to start working extra hours and mom would have to look for a job again. 

Even Nana would be disappointed. He had done so much for my dream to come true and here I was losing everything. 

I sat down on the sidewalk outside Coffee Tales. 

I had thought about what Mom had said last night. I could not deny that was right. 

When I sat and thought with a calm and unbiased mind, then the solution to all my problems was very clear. I just had to accept Jace's proposal. But my heart was still unsure. 

I had called up Elisha and Stefan in the morning and told them everything about Jace's proposal. Then I had asked for their advice and opinion. Both of them had immediately told me to accept it, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

They had also mentioned the same thing as mom. That Jace was helping himself just as much as he was helping me. In fact, we were both helping each other, and it was a mutual association that benefited both of us. 

I was beginning to think that maybe they were right. But I still had my doubts. Could I really do it? Could I really own a cafe together with Jace? 

In all honesty, I was actually scared.

With the court hearing tomorrow, I was running extremely short on time. I had to make a decision now. 

It had come down to a choice about what I preferred and what mattered the most to me. Losing my cafe or co-owning it with Jace?

My mind was screaming at me to call Jace and accept his proposal. But my hands refused to budge. 

"Ira?" said a surprised voice. "Hey."

"Mrs. Hoover, hi." I stood up and attempted to smile at her. "How have you been?"

Mrs. Hoover was a regular customer. She was a sweet old lady that told me and Zuri the most amazing stories during our free time between working. 

"The cafe has been closed these past few days," she said, "everything all right, dear?"

I nodded. There was no point in announcing anything right now. 

"Good." She smiled. "When are you opening again? I miss your apple pie." 

Maybe never. 

I could not bring myself to say it. 

"Soon," I heard myself say, "very soon."

The surety in my voice struck me. And I realized that I had already made my decision. I had just not acknowledged it yet. 

"See you soon then, my dear," she said, patting on my arm and walking past me. 

"See you soon," I murmured. 

There was a sudden wave of calmness spreading within me. The desperation, the hopelessness and the agitation that had been eating up my heart and making it restless these past few days seemed to be dwindling away. 

The dread in my stomach gradually began to settle down. 

"I have to call Jace," I told myself. 

I waited for my heart to feel heavy or for my stomach to drop. But nothing happened. I was still calm and almost... relieved. 

I had finally made my decision and I was sure about it. I had chosen what mattered to me the most, my cafe. 

I took out my phone from my handbag and searched for Jace's number. When I found it, my fingers hovered over the call option. 

After all that I had told him yesterday and accused him of, would he still answer my call today? Was he still willing to work with me? Would he think that I was selfish and that I was using him as per my needs? 

Maybe I was using him, right? 

Guilt rushed through my veins. 

But this is also going to help him, right? Besides, he is the one that first proposed this idea. He wants this for himself too. I'm not forcing him into anything. And moreover, he is literally going to become the co-owner of Coffee Tales. This is a great investment for him. 

I clicked on call. 

After four years, I saw my phone screen with a call connecting to him. 

"Hello?" He picked up on the third ring. "Ira?"

"Hi." I took in a deep breath. 

"Hi," he said. 

He waited for me to say something. 

"Jace, I'm sorry about yesterday," I said, biting my lip. My heartbeat picked up pace. 

"Oh." He sounded relieved. "No, no. You don't have to apologize. I needed to hear that, and you needed to let it out. Besides, I should be the one apologizing. I'm sorry, Ira, for everything. I really am."

This time, I breathed a sigh of relief. 

Even if he was able to move past everything, I was not sure if I was ready to do the same. I would never be able to forget. Maybe I could forgive if my wounds ever healed. Maybe. But I needed time for that. A lot of time. Possibly months or even years.

I decided to not respond to his apology and directly got to the point. "Well, Jace, actually, I was wondering if you still wanted to own a cafe with me?" 

I waited with bated breath as silence engulfed him. 

Seconds ticked by and I was almost in tears again as I took his silence to be a no. 

But then he spoke. 

"Of course, I do!" He laughed. 

Wait.

He did?

He really did?

Even though tears rushed down my cheeks, much to my surprise, I laughed along with him, a gratifying relief sounding clearly in both our laughs.