Chapter 17
The whole day of activities left me exhausted.
Celestia's teacher knew I was recovering from an injury and took special care of me. Most of the time, she kept Celestia busy with activities, but with so many kids in the class, the teacher was overwhelmed, too.
In the hotel room, I lay in bed while Celestia worked on the drawing assignment the teacher had given her.
Suddenly, my phone buzzed with a new email notification.
This was my private email - only Levi knew about it.
Could there be something urgent at the company that needed my attention?
I opened it and was shocked to see photos of Jessa and Levi. The location was the guest room at home, and there were some of Levi organizing things for her.
I felt like I'd been struck by lightning.
I'd been mentally prepared for this, but seeing it still hit me hard.
Why even ask if he loves me? Isn't this the answer?
Only Levi knew this email address. Now that these photos were sent, it meant Levi had at least allowed Jessa to use his computer or phone.
"Mommy, what's wrong?"
Celestia came over, and I quickly closed my phone.
I blinked. "Nothing."
"Are you crying?" Celestia asked me with concern.
I couldn't take back the tears at the corners of my eyes. I tried my best to control myself - I couldn't break down in front of Celestia.
Celestia's little hand reached over to wipe the tears from my eyes. "Mommy, are you too tired? Does your wound hurt again?"
I choked up and couldn't speak. I was afraid that if I opened my mouth, I'd expose my weakness.
"Great-grandma said the other day that your injury might flare up when it's cloudy or rainy, or if you overwork yourself." Celestia pouted. "Actually, I didn't really want to join this activity. You're still not well..."
I gently stroked Celestia's back. "Mommy's fine. Today wasn't too tiring. I just watched a really touching video and got emotional."
Celestia's mood brightened, and she even teased me. "So Mommy cries too!"
I'd never shown my sad side in front of Celestia. In her eyes, even my crying was unusual, so she believed me completely.
"Yes, Mommy cries too. But we need to be happy. Bad feelings make us tired." I gently stroked her hair, hoping she'd be happy her whole life.
Celestia turned and kissed my cheek. "Mommy, you need to be happy too."
Just as we were sharing this tender moment, an intrusive phone ring interrupted us.
I answered and heard Jessa's voice. I quickly composed myself, told Celestia to keep drawing, and left the room.
Before leaving, I turned on the TV and told Celestia she could watch cartoons while drawing.
Actually, I just didn't want her to hear anything bad.
"Blair, you're playing dumb again, aren't you? Not saying anything for so long." Jessa was already yelling on the other end.
I tried to get as far from the door as possible.
This floor was full of Celestia's classmates and their parents, so I had to watch my image.
"What do you want?"
Jessa suddenly burst out laughing. "You two having a good time? It was my idea, you know. Didn't expect Levi to agree!"
So it was Jessa's "masterpiece" that Levi signed us up for this activity - to get us out of the way so she could happily move into my house.
"I was just in your room. Maybe Levi thinks you're dirty, so he wouldn't let me touch your bed."
I was actually so angry I couldn't think straight. It wasn't that Levi thought I was dirty - I thought Jessa was truly filthy, rotten to her core.
I wasn't even divorced from Levi yet, and she couldn't wait to get into my bed.
"You've got what you wanted. I have one request - don't let my daughter know."
It was good that Celestia and I left. If Celestia saw this kind of woman being brought home by Levi, how would her little mind understand it?
"You saw the photos, right?"
Jessa's voice was full of showing off.
"Did he give you the email address?"
"You think I'm that stupid? How could I let him know about this?" Jessa thought she was so clever.
It wasn't Levi who gave it to her voluntarily - that actually made me feel a bit less hurt. If he'd known about this, I would have been really disappointed.
But maybe that didn't matter anymore.
I saw another parent come out. She smiled at me, and I nodded back.
"Blair, just enjoy your quality time with the kid. Actually, I don't like children. Perfect that Celestia's not here - it's our alone time now."
Before, she'd said she'd be a good stepmother. Now she wasn't pretending anymore - she didn't like kids after all. If my Celestia ended up with Levi in the future, I couldn't even imagine what that would be like.
I admit I was scared.
"Oh, and if you behave and divorce Levi, I won't bother you for now. Otherwise, I'll release these photos. What do you think will happen?"
"You wouldn't dare."
I knew that without Levi's permission, Jessa wouldn't dare expose herself. If she released these photos on her own, Levi would face a PR crisis.
Aiden had already looked into the last incident and warned Levi about it.
I knew Jessa wasn't stupid either. She wanted to marry into the Morgan family - she wouldn't do that.
She was just trying to scare me. I wasn't afraid of this kind of thing even as a child, let alone now.
"I'm warning you, my bottom line is my daughter. Everything else, do whatever you want."
I hung up. I didn't want to waste words with her. Always causing drama - so pointless. She was calling herself an artist while doing stupid things.
Did Levi really like this kind of woman?
Did the man I valued have such bad taste? Or was it beauty in the eye of the beholder?
Back in the room, I watched TV with Celestia.
I suddenly wondered what choice Celestia would make between Levi and me.
I didn't want to discuss heavy topics with a child, but Jessa saying she didn't love kids made me anxious.
"Celestia, what if - just what if - you had to choose between Daddy and Mommy. Who would you pick?" I asked her carefully, testing the waters.
Celestia answered without hesitation, "I'd choose Daddy and Mommy."
"I mean, choose one."
"I want both."
She looked at me seriously. For her, she didn't want to make this choice at all. In her world, both Daddy and Mommy were good.
"But what if you had to live with Auntie Jessa, to have a mother like her - what would you think?"
"I only want you as my mommy."
Celestia burrowed into my arms. "Mommy, Auntie Jessa can't compare to you at all. You're my mommy. Don't ask me such easy questions anymore."
I covered her eyes tenderly and held her close, tears streaming down my cheeks to the corners of my mouth.
I'd always thought children's hearts were fickle. The first time Celestia mentioned Jessa with such excitement, I felt my position was threatened. But now it seemed I'd underestimated the love between my child and me.
Neither of us could live without the other. No one could replace either of us.
Looking at it this way, divorce was truly cruel.