Chapter 159
Rhea gave me a lot of things and especially reminded me to try the sleep aid scented candle her friend gave her.
I rarely use these scented things. I like natural smells and hate those deliberate fragrances.
Indigo was already waiting for me at the door. I saw her as soon as I got out of the car.
"Mrs. Morgan, have you eaten?"
"Yeah, I called you but you didn't pick up. I ate at the Morgan mansion."
"I was busy making dinner for them. Those two ordered a bunch of dishes today, so I prepared everything in advance."
I took out the things Rhea gave me from the car one by one.
"Mrs. Morgan, let me do it. Don't strain your back."
I handed her some and carried some myself.
"I'm not that delicate. I can carry these things."
Indigo smiled. "The baby is still small now, but in a few months, I won't let you do any heavy work no matter what."
Indigo added, "You must be careful. Nothing is more important than your health."
There was more to her words. I thought of Sophia - she could see Ava's social media posts, and maybe Indigo overheard when she was talking to Faye about it.
"Yeah, I know."
I'm already a mother. I know how to take care of my body, but we all have times when it's hard to control our emotions.
"Mr. Morgan must be busy. Don't worry, he'll be home soon."
I waited most of the night. Indigo knew - she was probably watching my movements, and maybe she only went to rest after she saw my light go off last night.
I noticed earlier that she had obvious dark circles under her eyes.
"I'm not worried. He used to travel for work often. It makes no difference whether he's home or not."
"Mrs. Morgan, don't say such discouraging things. I understand how you feel. If you're unhappy about anything, just talk to me."
I smiled. "Don't worry, I won't be like I was with postpartum depression."
We both went inside. Faye and Sophia were sitting on the sofa, playing with their phones.
"Blair, you're back."
Sophia greeted me first. Faye seemed still angry about Joseph's situation.
I should be the one angry about this, but she's the one getting worked up.
"Blair, I told you that woman is trouble. Listen to me, I'll deal with her next."
Faye opened screenshots of Ava's social media posts to show me. "Look, I don't know how my brother got bewitched by her."
"I've already seen them."
"Huh? You've seen them?"
I put the things down and sat down calmly.
"Remember Ava told Sophia and them she made a friend? That friend is me. I can see her posts."
Faye was surprised. "Blair, you're not even angry about this?"
"It's normal for friends to hang out together."
I didn't want to keep talking about them. Their photos together had been zooming in and out in my mind many times already.
Sophia said quietly, "Blair, everyone at the company is going crazy. They're all gossiping about Ava and Mr. Morgan's alliance, saying Mr. Morgan is so lucky, that of course he'd marry someone from a powerful family. I'm so annoyed - those people talk such nonsense."
If I were an outsider, I'd also think choosing someone from a wealthy family makes more sense than choosing me, someone who doesn't even have a single family member.
"I'm going to rest now. You two have fun."
"Blair, take some fruit upstairs."
Faye handed me a fruit plate. "Is the new plate pretty? My friend hand-painted it, purely handmade."
"It's pretty. You two should rest early too."
I carried this delicate and cute fruit plate back to my room.
Another lonely night. Levi still isn't coming home. He's probably with Ava right now. Are they having fun?
I put the fruit plate on the vanity and walked to the desk, opening my computer.
There were many work emails. I opened them one by one half-heartedly, but my brain couldn't process any information. Looking at the black text, my mind was somewhere else entirely.
I walked to the bedside table, pulled open the drawer, and took out my diary.
Levi never goes through my things. He doesn't even know I have a habit of keeping a diary. Every sleepless night when he's not home, I write down my thoughts, and only then can I fall asleep exhausted.
Suddenly I remembered the clothes Ava gave me. I went to the closet to take them out and put them on.
In the mirror, I looked exactly like a bloodless ghost. I was like a crumpled piece of waste paper, ready to tear at the slightest pull.
I smiled stupidly at myself in the mirror. This must be the ugliest smile ever.
"What's the point..."
I was suffering from being tormented by him and other women. This feeling made me want to give up on myself too.
I wanted to get drunk, but drinking is bad for the baby. I have no freedom now. I can't break free from all these restrictions.
I opened the package Rhea gave me and took out the scented candle, then took a lighter from the drawer. The last time I was desperate, I thought about trying to light a cigarette like others do.
I lit the candle and turned off the light.
I dumped all the fruit from the plate onto the counter, then tore my diary page by page, threw the pieces into the plate, and set them on fire.
In the firelight, looking at myself in the mirror again, waves of bitterness washed over my heart.
I started taking off the clothes Ava gave me. I tried to find scissors, but after looking in several places without finding any, I just tore at the fabric. After pulling it three or five times, I threw it into the flames...
The flames quickly grew bigger, lighting up the room.
I fell backward onto the bed. I turned over, staring at the light in the fire basin...
"Why? Why won't you come home?"
I kept asking myself why Levi wouldn't come home, why Levi would be with Ava, confirming and denying my own thoughts over and over...
I should be happy that Aiden gave me shares in the Morgan Group, right? I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself in my room. I should proudly tell others that I'm the one the Morgan family recognizes.
But I'm not happy. Thinking about how alone I am makes me feel finished.
The sweet lilac scent quickly filled the entire room. Watching the flames made my eyes sting. Some ashes in the basin were giving off black smoke. I wanted to sleep...
I threw Levi's pillow out to cover the plate. The room immediately went dark, with only the faint light from the scented candle, accompanied by the smell of burning.
A voice in my head told me to get a good night's sleep, saying everything would be better when I woke up. The corners of my mouth turned up, reminding myself not to hold on anymore and to go to sleep.
I burned away my worries. I burned away Ava's mocking clothes. I burned away Levi's pillow. I burned away myself too.
After this night, I don't want to be sad anymore. I need to make new plans for myself. Even if it's difficult, I don't want to face life passively anymore. I want to ask Levi - what gives him the right to treat me like this!