Chapter 12 THE DEBT
“No! Please, Kanan, don’t!” I yelled, tears flowing down my cheeks, mingling with blood.
I was back in the Cruz compound. The air smelled of expensive cigars and fresh copper. My mother was slumped in her favorite velvet chair, her throat opened like a second mouth. My father lay by the mahogany desk, his eyes staring at nothing.
Kanan was standing above me again. But instead of a gun, he was holding a long knife.
“That’s not my heir in there, you whore.” He growled, hatefully.
I tried to scoot backwards as he stepped forward, but I couldn't move. It was like my feet were glued to the marble floor.
I could only watch in horror as he drove the blade into my swollen belly, ripped it open, and pulled out the tiny, lifeless form of my baby and held it in front of my face.
“Give it back!” I screamed, reaching for the child I would never hold. “Give him back to me!”
Kanan only gave me a terrifying smile.
I woke up with a gasp, my body drenched in sweat, heart hammering so violently I was sure it would break through my ribs with hot tears streaking down my face.
I reached for my stomach with shaky hands, half-expecting to feel a gaping wound, but there was nothing but the hard, flat muscle of Sienna’s abdomen and the heat of the brand on my chest.
Tears blurred my vision. The trauma was so fresh, so heavy, that I felt like I was drowning in it as I lay there, staring at the ceiling of the dark loft, trying to remind myself that Kanan was miles away.
A sharp knock on the door made me jump.
“Si? You awake?” Jax's voice called out. “It is time for training.”
I felt a surge of irritation.
I knew he cared, but his puppy-like devotion was starting to grate on my nerves.
Every time he looked at me with those hopeful eyes, I wanted to scream I wasn’t his friend.
I wondered how the old Sienna had dealt with it. Had she not noticed the torch he was holding for her? Or had she simply not cared?
“I am up, Jax!” I called out, my voice sounding more like Sienna’s usual snap.
I shook off the remnants of the dream. I walked into the small bathroom and turned on the shower.
As I stood in front of the mirror, I couldn't help but stare. My new body was undeniably hotter than my original one.
It was leaner but somehow curvier, stronger, and carried an edge of confidence that Elena never had. But the clothes in the closet were a nightmare. Skimpy tops, leather shorts, and revealing mesh. It was a far cry from the silk dresses and designer coats I was used to.
I made a mental note to go shopping as soon as possible. I pulled on some basic exercise gear and headed downstairs.
The garage was quiet. The smell of grease and coffee filled the air. Jax was already there, stretching.
“You look better today,” he said, giving me a small smile.
“I feel better,” I lied.
We started our routine.
For the past few days, I had been pushing this body to its limits.
The coordination was coming back, and I was beginning to learn where my center of gravity was, but the issue was that I never seemed to be able to move without having to think about it.
We sparred for an hour. Instead of waiting for the adrenaline to kick in, I used my mind and eyes, watching Jax’s hands and feet. When he lunged, I pivoted. I blocked his strike with a sharp, stinging slap to his forearm.
“Good,” he grunted, wiping sweat from his forehead. “Your timing is coming back.”
Afterward, the rest of the crew joined us for breakfast. Leo had brought takeout from a nearby deli. We sat around the metal table, the atmosphere filled with the kind of easy camaraderie I had never known.
In my past life, I had servants. They were kind and friendly, but there was always a wall between us. I was the superior, and they were the help.
Here, I was just part of the team, but I was still awkward. I didn't know their inside jokes. I didn't know their history.
I grabbed a piece of toast and spread a thick layer of strawberry jam on it, then took a large bite, enjoying the sweetness.
The table went dead silent.
I looked up, a bit of jam on my lip. “What?”
Leo stared at my toast. “You just ate jam.”
“So?” I asked, feeling my heart rate climb.
“Sienna, you have hated jam since the day I met you,” Mina said, her brow furrowed. “You said it was ‘slimy fruit rot.’ You never touched that stuff.”
I froze, looking down at the toast like it was a poisonous snake as my mind raced for an excuse. “I... well, my taste buds must have changed in the coma.” I stuttered out. Then I shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “I’m hungry. Does it really matter?”
“It is just weird,” Kael muttered. “You’re acting so... different. You’re apologizing for things. You’re explaining yourself. You never explained your actions to anyone.”
I felt like a fraud standing under a spotlight. But I didn't know how to defend myself without making things worse, so I kept quiet.
Jax suddenly grabbed a napkin and threw it at Leo’s head, but Leo caught it with a practiced reflex.
“Let the woman eat,” Jax snapped. “She was in a coma for months. Her brain got rattled. We should just be happy she is back and eating anything at all.”
The tension broke, but the suspicion lingered in their eyes.
“I need to go shopping,” I said, trying to change the subject. “I am not comfortable in the clothes upstairs.”
“Shopping?” Leo repeated. He said the word like it was a foreign language. “Why did you say it like a posh girl? You don’t ‘shop.’ You just get what you need when the old stuff burns or gets too bloody. And why aren't you comfortable? You are literally wearing your favorite leggings.”
I almost started to explain myself again, but I stopped myself, remembering the way Kael had said Sienna never explained herself to anyone.
I leaned back in my chair and gave Leo what I hoped was a cold, dead stare. “How is it any of your fucking business what words I use?”
I froze, thinking I had gone too far, but the room erupted in laughter.
“There she is!” Mina cheered, slapping the table. “That would have been hella weird if you had started explaining your fashion choices, queen.”
Leo looked back at his laptop, his face turning serious again. “We may have an issue with shopping, Si. We are low on funds. I mean very low.”
“How?” I asked. “I thought we were a top-tier fixer.”
“Since you went down, we had to go dark,” Jax explained. “The Cobras were out for blood, and other gangs started testing us because they thought we were weak without you. We’ve been living on the savings, and paying your hospital bills drained the savings fast. We are practically empty.”
Leo hesitated, looking at Jax. “There is a way to get a lump sum, though. Remember that debt we haven’t collected.”
“No,” Jax said immediately. “She is not ready.”
I turned to Jax, my eyes sharp. “Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do? If the crew is starving because of me, I am going to fix it. Tell me more, Leo.”