Chapter 26 At least for a while.
~Haven.
I walked out of the room with my hands wrapped around my purse. Walter was standing at my entrance, ready to shoot glares at whoever was coming out of that room. Me.
“Where were you last night?” His thick voice ran through the hallway. I almost flinched, I almost stuttered, then I remembered…I didn’t owe him that answer. I looked briefly, trying to walk away, but Walter’s hand caught my wrist before I could. “Tell me,” he growled.
“You’re married. Focus on your wife,” I reminded— it seemed like he’d forgotten. “You might be carrying my child!” Walter’s eyes beamed with anger. The look in his eyes, like he wanted to burn the world.
I almost believed him. “Even if I was going to be pregnant…. it’s not anytime soon. But please, all this child drama? Stop it. If you’re trying to get my attention, you’re doing it the wrong way.”
“That’s because I know what I’m saying, Haven! I do not want you sleeping around when you might be carrying my child!” Walter made me feel like a slut and I struck his face with a slap.
Walter looked at me like I’d just caressed his face. “You were with a man last night, weren’t you?”
“And what if I was?”
Walter rubbed his head in frustration. “Tell me. Tell me what he did to get your attention. Tell me the things he told you. Tell me the things he gave you and I’ll do them twice. I’ll do them for as much as you want just …” Walter paused. His eyes dropped to something dangerously close to sadness.
It shifted something inside me but I just had to ignore it. “Just look at me, Haven,” he begged. He reached to reach out to me but I took a step back.
“I love you, Haven. And ….. it feels like you’ve been slowly killing me. You won’t even look at me, it feels like I’m going to go crazy and …. and I’ve been trying to make you understand that you might be pregnant for me but you just don’t want to listen. It drives me crazy that to you, everything I say is a lie, Haven. I. …I don’t know what else to do,” his voice shook.
“You’re married,” I said again. “To Hannah and worse? You’re lying to me. I hate that.” And sincerely that was it. Those things burned inside me, making me grow to fear Walter.
“I love you, Haven x
“You’re married to Hannah.”
“You’re all that I have…”
“You’re married to Haven.”
“I want you.”
“You’re married to Haven.”
“Stop reminding me!” Walter screamed, frustration colored his voice. Sweat streamed down his face, his eyes reddened like he didn’t get any sleep. “I never wanted to marry Hannah. I told you but you won’t believe me.”
“The earlier you accept that you’re married to Hannah, Walter, the better. It’s best that we both just forget each other,” I walked towards the door, holding the tears that streamed down my face when Walter’s voice sounded behind me.
I halted. I didn’t want to but I did. My heart ached. The way his eyes were filled with tears and fear I … .I was beginning to feel sorry for him but I didn’t want to give Walter what he wanted. It was obvious….Walter only wanted to trick me into pitying him.
“Fine then. But please for a while just don’t….don’t sleep with anyone else,” his voice cracked. He sniffled…like he was crying but I didn’t turn to look at him. I didn’t want to look at him ….those eyes did things I don’t want to me. “At least just for a while. Till we’re sure you’re not carrying my child.”
“Don’t tell me how to live my life,” with that, I walked out of the house, immediately wiping the tears that had escaped my eyes.
He’s nothing but a liar. I told myself as I headed out.
I walked down the street.. I just wasn’t in the mood to drive. Then I spotted Harrington at a distance. He leaned against his car….he spotted me and smiled. I smiled back but it felt hard to keep it.
Walter was breaking my heart. I just needed him to stop lying to me— maybe then it wouldn’t hurt as much.
“Haven?” Harrington called. The smile on his face dropped. “You don’t look too good. Is everything okay?” He stroked my head.
I shook my head, eyes welled up with tears. “I’m not,” then tears I tried to hold came rushing down.
Harrington pulled me towards himself. “I’m here now,” he whispered.
…..
The drive to the company was quiet. So quiet like he was giving me time to think.
Harrington sat at the desk while I sat next to him. “It’s my first day at work ….I should be working,” I said, forcing a smile through my lips but Harrington shook his head.
“You don’t have to work,” he stroked my head— again. “You don’t really have to do anything if you don’t want to. Nobody has the right to force you into doing anything, Haven. If you don’t feel the need to do anything then don’t. No one has that right, Haven. Not your father— not Walter— not me.”
“But…. but what if I’m the one going against myself. What if I’m the one who can’t decide what to do?” I asked. And sincerely it was starting to feel like the one against me was— me.
I want to stop loving Walter but I can’t and at the same time a part of me doesn’t want to stop….
“Focus on me, then,” Harrington offered. He held my hand. “It doesn’t have to be serious. I’ll be here to distract you whenever you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts.”
“How?”
I doubted that nothing could ever get my mind off Walter.
“Like this,” Harrington whispered. He pressed his lips against mine before I could protest. The door pushed open. I opened my eyes— shocked then my eyes met with Walter’s. He stood at the door, his grip tightened against his leather bag.
His eyes burned….his gaze lingered, his jaws clenched.
That was the right time, to prove that I’d “forgotten” Walter. So right there in front of him, I closed my eyes and….kissed Harrington back.