Chapter 34 continuation

Seventh letter:

'When I opened my eyes, Dean,

all I saw was the white ceiling of the hospital.

Remember how we disliked this place?

Damn I...

I just apologize for everything I did wrong to you.

I'm sorry, brother.

I am writing you these letters because I believe that you will read them.

Your shadow is always by my side.

I feel you when I think about you.

You are my angel, my brother, my friend.

I didn't kill you, Dean. I ask you to believe me. I just couldn't do it. I'm sure my father is involved. Do you remember when we were making the plan to take over, then at that time my father came to have a too serious conversation with me. He threatened me that if I didn't sign the contract, he would ruin my life.

And I think he knew what to push.

I'm so sorry for you. I couldn't protect you.

I'm sorry, I'm acting like a girl. I write and cry, and my tears drip onto a sheet of paper, erasing the ink.

Let's dry the sheet...'

Letter eight:

'This is my third day here.

In this damn hospital, every day is the same.

The nurse comes to me, checks my condition and leaves, silently writing something in her notebook.

For three days I lay in a medical bed, staring up at the white ceiling. I studied it to every crack, to every gray spot on it.

Today Tyler came to me with the guys, I was grateful to them that they had not forgotten about me.

I asked to be taken away from here, I could not be here for a minute more.

Three days, three fucking days,

I was without her,

without my world,

without my love.

I also asked Tyler to get me some drugs or some other drug. You have no idea, Dean.

He and the rest of the guys turned me down. Tyler said he didn't want to kill me.

But he didn't know,

that I was already dead.'

Letter nine:

'Tyler took me in to keep an eye on me in case of emergency.

I felt weak, helpless and damn sad.

My body was lying on the bed, in the room that the guy gave me. My thoughts were only about one. My body and heart required drugs so that I could feel good again.

I was addicted.

And who would have thought that it was she who was the addiction.

Tyler decided to throw a party so I could get back into life. He put me in order, taking care of me like a little boy.'

'Now you look much better,' the guy appreciated, clapping me on the shoulder.

I silently approached the mirror, realizing that I now looked perfect.

My brown hair was beautifully styled and trimmed. The clothes looked like the bad guy that all the girls are delighted with. The face was pale and thin, and when I looked into my eyes,

I understand,

that has remained the same.

Sad and empty.

Loud music hurt my ears, all the guys from the corps were here and were by my side, giving their support and saying how sorry they are that Hayley is no more. I didn't care what they said, I didn't need snot.

I didn't want to hear it anymore.

'Can we just not talk about it?' I politely asked.

Everyone nodded guiltily, continuing to rejoice at my appearance, but I did not want to see anyone. All I did at this party was drink and pretend to be having fun.

When Tyler was out of my line of sight, I immediately went to the guy who was standing at the drinking table with the girl who was flirting with him.

'Get the fuck out of here,' I snapped at her in annoyance.

The brunette snorted, walking away, I clenched my fists at her antics, wanting to explain everything to her like a man. Ron was already stoned and I knew perfectly well that he still had a dose.

'I need to keep our conversation between us. I need drugs, Ron.'

And he agreed, his hand reached into his pants pocket, quietly taking out a bag of white powder.

'I need more, but without Tyler knowing about it,' I warned him as I took my merchandise for myself.

'This is the last thing I have now,' the guy took out a couple of pills and another bag, discreetly passing me.

I took a bottle of cognac with me, realizing that now I am unattended. Closing myself in my room, my hands reached for the white powder. His fingers trembled with anticipation, and his mouth went dry. Having made two lanes, which were located on a small glass table, I took a sip of cognac before getting down to business. The crystal powder lightly scratched the nasal mucosa as it slithered inwards.

I closed my eyes, leaning back against the chair. The eyes closed instantly, waiting for the drug to take effect.

After a while, the body began to relax, and a feeling of calmness and pleasure grew inside, which made me feel good.

I opened my eyes in search of the girl of my heart, but the room was still empty, and even the voices in my head were silent. I repeated the same steps with the next track, after which I took sips of strong cognac.

A satisfied smile appeared on her lips as she felt too good inside.

'James,' the girl said hoarsely.

I looked up, noticing the brown-haired woman who was standing with a smirk on her lips.

Hello, my sweet Hailey.

Nick took a puff on his cigarette, shifting his gaze to the view outside the window. The guy seemed to be reading the diary of an obsessed guy, only there was one single question that was impossible to understand.

Drug obsession or the girl whose name is Hailey Marilyn Mackenzie?

Miller quickly ran his fingers over the written lines, his eyes looking for the place where he had not finished reading. The next sheet was smeared with blood and tears, completely wiping out Foster's thoughts. The boy furrowed his brows, touching the dried mud with his fingertips. His chest hurt uncomfortably as he wondered what might have happened to James.

Letter ten:

'That son of a bitch ruined everything for me!

His appearance again destroyed her.

My anger boiled up in me with renewed vigor. And I think I'd kill that nasty bastard if it wasn't Tyler.

He firmly held my body while the barely alive guy was carried away by other people from the room in which I stayed. The brain was completely turned off, and mad adrenaline ran through the veins along with the blood.

I didn't really hear what Tyler was saying to me, but the only thing I can say is that he wasn't happy about me.

Too dissatisfied.

He seems to be tired of me.

Just like me from myself.

I was incredibly angry and didn't know what I was doing while still under the influence of drugs.

'I don't need your damn care! You can look for a new person over whom you will put your control and all this other shit! I'm leaving!'

And he let go:

'Then go to hell, Foster! I was worried about you, but if that's the case, then fuck you, boy!'

I left.

From everyone, and most importantly from yourself.

After a while, I was in my mind

and I was guilty before him.

I'm sorry, Tyler.

I didn't want to say it.'

Eleventh letter:

'I was back in my house.

Didn't pick up the phone, didn't open the door, was completely alone with myself,

waiting for Hailey.

Depression was eating me alive.

I knew that I needed to relax.

Approached the mirror, forced a smile to dispel the sadness,

and immediately broke the glass.

It was disgusting!

And that was my dilemma.

What was the meaning of my life?

I don't know, I lost myself when I lost Hailey.

This whole world became gray and empty, nothing could change that.

I poured the white powder on the table, breathed in, lay down on the bed and closed my eyes.

This time he was stronger,

much stronger,

to see it right away.

We were sitting on the roof, I was smoking weed, and she was telling me something. Her hand went up and Hailey pointed ahead at the city lights.

I looked at her and smoked,

and she talked, she talked, she talked...

Until I heard her suggestion that I've been thinking about all these days.

'You need to leave with me, Jay,' she wrapped her arms around my neck, whispering in my ear. 'I miss you, you should not stay in this world anymore.'

I threw the cigarette off the roof and immediately pushed it away from me. She became different, which scared me.

Her brown eyes turned completely black like a demon's, and her skin was white and cold. She had an evil smirk on her lips, as if she had something in mind for me.

'You must go with me, James. I know you want.'

On the one hand, I wanted to leave this world, but on the other hand, I was not yet ready to die.

It was complicated,

and that was my dilemma.

I left the roof, listening to a loud voice in my head telling me to die.'