Chapter 17:It's Scientifically Proven That Redheads Make Terrible Godmothers-2

"Tessa will go with you, just in case you need some backup. It's obviously not necessary but she's the millennial here and will be good for social media updates and such. Plus, she's the one who found and really championed your book and I don't think there's any other person who should have a greater involvement that she does." I'm glowing at the praise and at the fact that despite all my recent mishaps at work, Kevin still seems to think I'm competent. We all agree to it until I do the math in my head and realise that the book tour could very well coincide with when I'm due. After my last appointment with OB/GYN which went a thousand times better than the first one, Cole and I have a tentative due date in mind and this, this is very bad. But it's not like I can raise my hand and tell both these men who seem so excited at the prospect of me taking on this responsibility that I might not be able to do my job because I could be giving birth then. But could I though? I'll leave that to be my very own cliffhanger. "I have to agree, I know just how much Tessa rooted for my book and I wouldn't want to have anyone else by my side but her." Wyatt's smile is big and genuine and it would kill me to say no right now, maybe I could talk to Kevin about it later and maybe he'd understand or I could be unemployed by the end of the day and Cole would get his wish. "Great, let's set that up in the calendar and Tessa why don't you get in touch with the marketing and publicity team and ask them to send us a few mock graphics and an idea of what the campaign's going to look like. We should have a solid plan by the end of this week." "Sure thing," I plaster a saccharine smile onto my face and excuse myself while the boys move on to discuss money and what not. "Hey Tessa, wait." Wyatt jogs up to me as Kevin gets busy with a call and motions for us to continue. "I just wanted to thank you again." he rubs his palms nervously, "This book is changing my life and I couldn't have done it without you and I want you to know how excited I am that you'll be there with me through the rest of the journey. I don't think anyone else would be able to do it justice." I smile, not sure what to say because Wyatt's just being Wyatt, incredibly sweet and endearing. I'm also not so sure how to tell him that I'd be about to pop any minute when his book tour commences but he looks so thrilled that I don't have the heart to say anything. The secrecy is starting to bite me in the back and I'm beyond frustrated myself. Soon, I'll tell him soon. "This is all you Wyatt, your hard work and your incredible talent. I just pushed it to the right people and I'm so proud of you, congratulations on everything." Outside Kevin's office, I go to my cubicle and try not to scream into the abyss. Instead I face plant into my desk and scream silently and when someone places a hand on my shoulder, the scream nearly turns into a high pitched yell. "That's it, you're going to tell me what's been going on and you're going to tell me now." Mattie stands looming over my shoulder, hands planted firmly on his trim waist and wearing an expression that dares me to lie to him. Well, fudge it. This is going to be one revealing lunch hour. *** "Thank Jesus Christ you're just pregnant, I thought you had cancer or something!" It's a miracle I don't spew the smoothie I'm currently drinking all over Mattie. My cheeks turn bright red as people turn around to look at us and my friend only looks slightly sorry about giving us all this unneeded attention. "Could you be a little louder? I don't think that lady there in the corner heard you properly." He raises his hands defensively, "I'm just relived, I honestly did think you were going to die but this isn't that bad." "Not bad? So you're not sitting there judging me, thanking God that you're not in my position." He rolls his eyes, "I don't have the right equipment to be in your position Tess." "You know what I mean." "I do and no that's not how it is with me. I'm just really fucking relieved that you don't have a mortal illness okay. I've been worried about you these last few weeks and pregnancy? That's not so bad in the grand scheme of things, especially when you've got man that supportive and strong by your side. A lot of women deal with this on their own you know?" I squeeze my eyes shut, the guilt of how I'd first treated Cole making it difficult for me to swallow. Mattie's right, I am lucky to have someone like Cole with me on this journey because not many guys his age would stick around, not when they thought their future would be jeopardised. "You should have told me sooner and gotten the weight off your chest because no offence, you've been looking like death every time I've seen you recently and the stress isn't good for the baby." "You seem oddly calm and knowledgeable right now. Knocked anyone up before you came out of the closet?" He laughs, loudly once again attracting a lot of attention to the table and I want to pull this blazer over my head and pretend I don't exist. "I'm too gay to ever be caught in a compromising situation with a woman but I have a cousin, we're close and she got knocked up at sixteen. The guy didn't even wait for the pregnancy test to turn positive before telling her he wasn't going to have any part in it, told her to get an abortion and she didn't. Riley's a pretty headstrong girl, strong as nails and she's raising my little niece just fine on her own." I gape at him because it's as if a lightening bolt just struck me and caused me to see sense for the first time in a really long time. There are so many girls, so many Riley's who find themselves in this situation and there are so many inspiring stories similar to this of young women who are forced to grow up way too quickly because of one little mistake. Do they hide out in their apartments and eat their body weight in Sun Chips? Maybe they do, just for a little while but not for as long as I did and I immediately feel ashamed of how I'd been acting for months. I'd acted like a baby meant the end of the world when the truth is that…this could very well be one of the best things to have ever happened to me. I caress my stomach under the blazer and feel my eyes stinging with tears, lost in thought until Mattie tosses a napkin at me. "No wonder you cried when I showed you the hamster video on YouTube last week, the hormones must be making you crazy." I bite my wobbling lip to stop myself from having a full out sob fest in public. The mood swings were supposed to end after week twelve yet here I am at week fourteen, crying as I remember that cute little creature running around his wheel and falling over again and again. Mattie laughs, "You're so frikkin pregnant, how did I not see this before?" Well if he knows then I'm guessing it's time to tell my parents? *** It'd been easier to tell my friends since Beth already knew and was on board. My brother though was a whole other story because he's obviously protective and still thinks I'm sixteen and that any boy who impregnates me deserves to subjected to the barrel of a gun. He's come around though, grudgingly but he calls me weekly asking for updates and making me promise that I'd consider naming my son after him, even if I just use it as a middle name. My son, it's still so surreal. Megan and Cami were happy for me, shocked at first but happy knowing how at peace with everything I am now. I think had I told them initially when I still hadn't come to terms with it myself and that's putting it mildly, they'd be concerned but everything is different now. Mind you, there are still moments where I wonder if I'm capable of doing this, of being a parent when I don't even have my own life together but all I need to do during these moments of doubt is look at Cole and I know that no matter what, I won't be alone. So yes, even though it's taken them a while to get over the baby news I think our friends are pretty excited for us if the rate at which Cami keeps sending us stuffed animals is any indication. That and she said she's called dibs on being the godmother. "Do I need to submit my resumè? I could list all the reasons why I would be the best choice." She's on speaker phone as Cole and I cook dinner on a quiet night in and knowing that my inbox will probably be blowing up from said resumè makes us chuckle. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there Cami. Oh and I think we're running out of space in the apartment, maybe stop sending the giant penguins now." She makes a tsk-ing sound, "I doubt the two of you are getting anything for my baby niece or nephew. It's a wonder you even have any clothes on, I know what pregnancy does to a woman's sex drive remember?" She cackles at her own joke and I stick my tongue out at Cole who looks way too smug right now. "Besides, it's scientifically proven that redheads make terrible godmothers." "Oh yeah, where did you get those statistics?" "Google. Now, don't make call a guy who knows a guy and make good old Meg disappear for a while. I know she's a going to be a fancy doctor and what not but do you really want someone with that kind of a crazy schedule to be your child's godmother? She's not going to be there to babysit when you need someone to babysit your tiny bundle of joy because you just need to get out of the house and screw each other like rabbits! Me though, I'll make sure to give you guys plenty of alone time if you know what I mean." "Okay that's enough." I clear my throat, "I think we don't need to talk about this for a good while and until then you have to promise to stop bringing this up constantly. We haven't discussed this, at all." "You really need to get ahead Tess, babies require a lot of time so it's best to make these decisions before they're born. I've sent in a detailed power point presentation as to why I'm the best choice. Look at it and call me back, the redhead's got no chance." And that ends the fourth call she's made to me today. "What have I done?" I ask Cole, "We've created a monster." "She's better than Alex who can't stop with the weird baby names. He sent in Lutherhaus today, Luther for short." He shudders. "I think I'm going to block him until after we've named the kid because I don't want him creeping into my mind subconsciously." I laugh and stir the pasta sauce, "Is that what you think we're having, a boy?" My mind goes back to our conversation in Bora Bora, one of the first times I've ever allowed myself to envision a toddler who looks just like Cole. Cole rounds the island to come and stand behind me, arms around my waist. "You tell me." I let my head fall back onto his chest, "I just have this feeling and I know it's silly because we won't be able to tell the gender till a couple of weeks but in my mind we're having a boy." I feel him smile against my neck and his hands rub my bump, "Then we're definitely not calling him Lutherhaus." "Definitely not, remind me to delete Alex's number from your contact list. He's a bad influence."