Chapter 129 Chapter 129: The Aftermath

Chapter 129 Chapter 129: The Aftermath
My entire body feels like lead. I struggle to force my eyes open, but it’s like someone has glued my lashes together. My head is pounding so hard that I fear my brain is trying to break free from my skull by slamming itself against it.
A groan escapes me as I try to move.
“Hettie?” a faint voice calls from a distance. But it’s like I’m underwater, the sound so far away that I wonder if I’ve imagined it.
But then cold hands touch my arms, proving that I’m not making this up. There’s someone here with me, wherever here is.
“Hettie, can you hear me?”
Why can’t my body respond to my commands? Why does it feel like I’ve been struck by lightning or something?
“You’re burning up,” the voice points out as their hand touches my forehead. 
I mumble something not even I can interpret.
When I finally manage to open my eyes, a bright light blinds me momentarily before I can take in my surroundings. The first thing I notice is the white room. A hospital one.
Then the person beside me steps into my line of vision, and the familiarity in that face is enough to make my heart swell in my chest and tears form in my eyes.
“Hans?” I ask because I can’t really tell if this is a dream or reality. My voice is hoarse, and my throat is dry as if I’ve been thirsty for days.
“Hey, I’m here…” he murmurs, sitting on the bed, and grabbing my hands with more strength than I imagine he intended. “Are you okay? How are you feeling?”
His green eyes roam over my face as if searching for the answers. He looks relieved, but I spot the wrinkles of concern around his eyes.
“I feel like I was run over by a truck or something,” I tell him with a soft chuckle, hoping this will be enough to show him I’ll survive. “Other than that, I’m okay. I think.”
He shakes his head, annoyed at my lame attempt to make him laugh, and pulls me into a tight hug. It hurts, but it also feels great to have him here with me.
“I’m so glad you’re alive,” he murmurs against my hair. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“I’m sorry,” I reply softly, although my mind is so foggy right now that I’m not entirely sure what I’m referring to.
“What were you thinking?” Hans scolds, pulling away from me, but never releasing me completely. His hands are still holding my shoulders as if to steady me, or himself. Or both. “Offering yourself as a sacrifice like that. Were you insane?”
Slowly, memory slices of what happened come back to me. 
“It was the only way to get those creatures out of Haldoria. They were after me, so…” I shrug as if that’s all the answer I can give him. Which, honestly, it is. 
There’s no grand gesture behind it other than the fact that I was feeling guilty for hiding behind all those people in the kingdom.
I had to do something.
Hans stares at me without saying anything for a moment. His eyes spark with something I can’t point out, then a small smile curls the corner of his lips.
“You’re unbelievable,” he murmurs. “Do you have any idea of what you did? You saved the fucking kingdom.”
I chuckle before frowning. “How do you know about all of this?” 
Hans takes a deep breath, then pulls the chair beside the bed and sits on it. 
“The entire kingdom heard the news of what happened. The king made a pronouncement a few days ago, when it was all over. When I heard about it, I demanded to see you. I talked to Mr. Rosser and asked him to get permission from the king to come and visit you,” he explains. “Do you have any idea how I was freaking out, not knowing what had happened to you? You were supposed to spend only the weekend in the palace, but you never returned to school. No one would tell us a thing.”
I can’t imagine what it must have been for him to be in the dark all this time that I was away, unaware of where I was or what I was going through.
We remain in silence for a while until something crosses my mind.
“When you said the entire kingdom heard about what happened, does it mean they know who I am?”
I intended to keep my identity as part of the royalty a secret for a little longer. I’m definitely not ready for people to treat me differently because of it. I’ve always known it’d happen eventually, but I wasn’t ready for it to be now.
“Not really,” Hans answers. “The king never said you were involved. We just heard the Shades made a comeback and the Haldorian Army handled it. Apparently, he made his men promise not to say a word about you.”
Relief washes over me. My plan stands. For now.
“I should go and tell your parents you’re awake. They’ve been on edge, waiting for you to wake up. The king just invited them for a cup of tea. Amser also comes to check on you every day,” he informs me, filling my heart with gratitude.
I nod slightly, offering him a small smile. “Thanks, Hans. And thanks for being here when I woke up.”
“Where else would I be?” He rises to his feet and places a kiss on my forehead. 
When he turns to leave, my heart shrinks in my chest as if sensing the desperation of being left alone.
“Wait!” I blurt out before I can stop myself.
Hans returns with widened eyes. “What? Are you feeling anything?”
I shake my head, but tears have already swelled in my eyes. “I’m okay, I just—” I choke, blinking away the tears that are insisting on falling. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”
“What is going on, Hettie?”
I can hear him, but I no longer can absorb what he’s saying. I can’t force myself to answer him because, suddenly, all I can think of is Zadok. And the last image I had of him before passing out at the beach.
A silent sob escapes me, and a physical pain crushes my chest when it all comes back to me, so fast and strong that it knocks the breath out of my lungs.
The beach.
The Shades.
Zadok…
“I—” I cover my mouth with my hands, muffling my sobs as I let it all consume me.
Hans rushes to me, pulling me into a hug. 
“He’s dead, Hans… He’s dead—because of me.”
The words come out in halting bursts, but I know he understood me. His body stiffens around me, and I feel his breath hitching slightly.
“He isn’t dead, Hettie,” he tells me calmly, his voice low but firm. 
I pull away from him, sniffing, my cheeks soaked with tears.
His thumbs wipe them away as he stares into my eyes, his sharp jawline tense. 
“He’s unconscious and fighting for his life, but he isn’t dead yet. There’s still hope.”