Chapter 237: For Me and the Baby, Can You Try?
His downcast eyes were filled with pain.
"Get rid of it."
The words came out sounding casual and light.
But to him, they felt like knives cutting into his heart.
This was the child he had longed for.
His and Mia's child.
"What did you say?"
Mia wondered if she'd heard him wrong.
Wasn't everything fine just a moment ago?
He'd been just as excited and happy as she was.
And now he was telling her to get rid of it?
"Mia, we can't have this child."
Ten months of pregnancy would be too hard.
And after the baby was born, it would be even harder.
That was a heavy responsibility.
Even if it was a sweet burden, it was still a burden.
Without him there to take care of her and the child, it would be just her alone having to take care of him and the child.
He would be a burden to her, and so would the child.
He could imagine how hard her future would be.
No matter how much he wanted this child, he couldn't be selfish.
Making her give birth would drag her down and ruin all her other possibilities.
He'd rather endure the pain of her belonging to someone else than watch her suffer for the rest of her life.
"So, while the baby is still small, get—"
Every word he spoke felt like razor blades slicing his throat.
Each word was difficult, bleeding with pain.
"James!"
Mia choked out, cutting him off.
Her eyes, already red from crying, became even more bloodshot.
Shaking with anger at his terrible words, it took her a while to find her voice again!
"Look at me!" she cupped his face with both hands.
She stared hard at James's persistently lowered eyelids.
He wouldn't lift his head.
He didn't dare face her.
Looking into her eyes, he wouldn't be able to say such cruel words.
He wouldn't look at her, so Mia grabbed his hand.
She gripped it tightly, not giving him a chance to pull away, forcefully pulling his hand toward herself.
James knew what she was trying to do and tried to pull his hand back, resisting Mia.
But he didn't dare pull too hard, afraid of hurting her.
His hand was eventually forced by Mia down onto her lower abdomen.
After just saying they should get rid of the child, touching her again felt like it would burn James.
His hand instinctively clenched, not daring to touch.
But even clenched, Mia forcibly pressed it against her abdomen.
"James, touch her. Are you sure you really can bear to not want her?"
James's heart trembled violently.
The hand on her abdomen trembled along with his heart.
"She's our child. She's seven weeks old now. In a few more months, she'll be born, and she'll grow little by little."
"From learning to roll over, then learning to sit, to crawl. Starting to babble, she'll call you daddy—"
As these words left Mia's mouth, a tightly wound string inside him suddenly snapped.
James covered his face in pain, hot liquid seeping through his fingers.
He couldn't bear it. How could he bear it?
The picture Mia painted appeared in his mind, and his reluctance was so strong it made him want to selfishly let Mia give birth.
But...
"Mia, my legs are ruined!"
His voice was very low, breaking several times, full of helplessness, grief, pain, and extreme inner struggle.
This was the first time since the accident that James had voluntarily mentioned this fact in front of her.
Even though she could see it, he'd been unwilling to face it.
After waking from the car accident, knowing something was wrong with his legs, he'd immediately asked Louis whether it was permanent or temporary.
If it was temporary, he would definitely stand up again in the shortest time possible for Mia.
Continue to protect her, make it up to her, take care of her, wait for her to be willing to trust him wholeheartedly again, accept him, be with him.
He would love and cherish her for life.
But Louis said current medical technology made it very difficult.
Given Louis's status in the medical world, his "very difficult" meant his legs truly had no hope.
"Mia, it's not temporary, I'll never stand up again."
"I'm disabled, I'll be useless forever. I can only sit in a wheelchair, do you understand!"
James forcefully wiped away the tears in his eyes.
He lifted his head, looking at her with red eyes full of pain that broke Mia's heart.
"I understand—"
Mia's eyes grew redder, tears of heartache streaming down.
"No, you don't understand!"
James hadn't wanted Mia to know, but now he had no other choice.
Right in front of her, he turned his leg over.
"Look!"
Mia's gaze was drawn to James, falling on his leg.
When she saw the condition of his leg, Mia said urgently, both heartbroken and worried: "James, you—"
She saw several glass shards embedded in James's leg.
His leg had been twisted around, and his pants were clearly soaked through in large patches.
That was his blood.
He'd been bleeding ever since he fell.
Mia couldn't care about anything else. She let go of James's hand and stood up to get the medical kit.
But just as she was getting up, James grabbed her wrist, using just enough force to pull her back down, crouching beside him.
James held her hand with one hand and wouldn't let go.
His other hand reached toward his wound.
Right in front of Mia, he gripped a glass shard.
"James, don't!"
Mia gasped and reached out to stop him, but her movement wasn't as fast as James's.
He pulled a piece of glass directly out of his leg, blood gushing from the wound.
"Are you crazy? Don't you know it hurts?"
Mia grabbed James's shirt and pressed it to the wound, angry at him for not taking care of himself, and even more heartbroken for him.
How much must that hurt!
James met Mia's extremely angry eyes and suddenly smiled gently.
"It doesn't hurt. I can't feel anything."
Mia's expression froze instantly.
James kept looking at her, then suddenly raised his hand to press down on hers as she tried to stop the bleeding, applying more and more pressure.
Pressing directly into his wound.
"James—"
Mia tried to pull away but couldn't, the heartache in her eyes deepening.
She looked at James, watching him show no reaction as the wound was pressed like this.
The smile at the corner of his lips deepened, and the sadness in his eyes grew heavier. "I really can't feel anything at all—"
"James, don't do this!"
Tears of heartache flooded Mia's eyes again, quickly rolling down.
"Mia, I really can't stand up anymore. There's no hope!"
Today, until this moment, he finally understood completely.
He had no way to really do anything inappropriate with Lavinia.
All he could do now was make Mia understand and face this reality.
Understand why he was pushing her away, why he wanted her to get rid of the child.
Mia wiped away her tears and asked him in a hoarse voice, somewhat aggressively: "Have you even tried?"
"James, you haven't even tried. How do you know there's no hope?"
"Don't you know there are many things in this world that medicine can't explain?"
"As long as you hold onto hope, miracles can happen. Why give up without even trying, saying you're useless!"
James's lips trembled even more.
Really, could there still be hope?
Seeing James waver, Mia placed his hand on her abdomen again, almost pleading: "James, for me and the baby, will you try?"