Chapter 170: Do You Want Me to Repay with My Body?
But if he didn't leave, under Mia's stare like that, he couldn't continue either.
Even though he really wanted to keep going.
If it were before, James wouldn't have considered any of this.
He simply wouldn't care about Mia's rejection. In his eyes, whether her spoken refusal was genuine or not didn't matter.
He had ways to make her submit in his arms.
To make her willing.
But now, after a long pause, James finally spoke, "I..."
His lips opened and closed. He wanted to say he couldn't help himself.
But meeting Mia's eyes.
The words stuck in his mouth.
The silence continued to spread.
Mia quietly looked at James. It wasn't that she didn't want to speak, but for a moment, she didn't know what to say.
She knew she had responded to James in her sleep. She knew her own body.
This was beyond her control.
But she also couldn't accept James doing such things to her while she was asleep.
From the moment she completely drew the line with James, she had never thought about starting over with him.
She kept reminding herself not to cross the line of friendship, not to fall in the same place again.
When she tried to let go of the past, she stopped immersing herself in sadness.
But that didn't mean those things had truly passed.
That pain was still in her heart, and she couldn't forget who caused that suffering.
She constantly reminded herself not to repeat the same mistakes.
During their time apart, in the dead of night, she had thought about James.
Thought about how good he used to be to her, and about the wonderful feelings he once gave her.
After all, physical desire.
Men have it, women have it too.
During the years with James, he had trained her body too well.
But such needs were just thoughts that she could quickly push deep down inside.
Now, held in James's arms, Mia's body couldn't calm down right away.
She was craving it too.
But she couldn't allow James to continue.
She knew very clearly that once they became intimate again, things between her and James would become complicated again.
This wasn't what she wanted.
Just as Mia remained silent, James, at this critical moment, still couldn't resist her attraction to him.
He wanted to try to continue.
As soon as he moved, Mia didn't push him away, but suddenly asked in a calm tone: "James, is it because you saved me and I owe you a favor, you want me to repay you with my body?"
Mia's words were like an invisible knife stabbing into James's heart, pain spreading in his eyes.
The more he cared, the more it hurt.
His deep feelings, his inability to control himself around her, were being defined by her this way.
Words can hurt. At this moment, James finally understood.
So this is how much it hurts to be wounded by words from the person you love.
Those hurtful things he had said to Mia before, he had casually thought he could exchange for her forgiveness with a simple sorry.
But when their positions were reversed, he realized how deeply those words he had blurted out back then had hurt Mia.
...
Mia had been watching James, so naturally she knew her sharp and merciless words had hurt him.
He saved her from the bottom of his heart.
Yet she deliberately twisted his actions into having ulterior motives.
Such words were too heartless.
But this was the only way she could think of to draw the line at this moment.
Avoiding James's gaze, she lowered her eyelids.
Her voice remained calm, but her words were even more hurtful.
"If repaying you for saving me requires this method, then go ahead. Hurry up and get it done, and we'll be even."
Her stiff body slowly relaxed, her face clearly saying James could do whatever he wanted.
James maintained the same position, neither going further nor immediately pulling away.
He looked at Mia with hurt in his eyes.
After a long while, he found his voice.
His thumb gently brushed over her trembling eyelids, his forehead lightly pressed against hers, asking softly: "Mia, you clearly still care about me, why say such things?"
Knowing these words would hurt him, why say them over and over again?
Mia pressed her lips together.
Paused.
Answered him in the calmest tone, "James, if you interpret my care for you these past few days as caring about you, I can only tell you, you're wrong."
"You got hurt saving me, so taking care of you is what I should do."
"I don't want to owe anyone, especially not you, especially not favors. Taking care of you is just to repay the favor."
She hadn't forgotten how when she thought she could finally divorce, he had used the money he spent paying off her father's gambling debts to cruelly pull her down.
"If you think taking care of you for a few days isn't enough to repay the favor, and you must sleep with me once to call it even, I won't refuse. As long as we can be even, I don't care."
After speaking, Mia closed her eyes.
The pain in James's eyes deepened.
To distance herself from him again, she really could say anything.
He slowly tightened his hold on Mia, and the tighter he held her, the more uncomfortable he felt inside.
Mia lay quietly, giving him no response.
It wasn't that she didn't know he was suffering.
It's just that she really didn't have the courage to trust him again. The past made her afraid to take another step forward.
So afraid that one step would lead to complete ruin again.
Closing her eyes could perfectly hide all her emotions.
After a long time, James slowly let her go.
He got off her, rolled out of bed, and walked out without putting on his shoes, stumbling.
At the door, his steps paused. With his back to the door, he said softly: "Mia, you don't owe me."
She didn't owe him.
Never had.
The one who owed was him.
Because of what he owed, everything he did for her was willing, there was no debt.
No matter how much he wanted her, he couldn't turn what was between them into a transaction.
After James finished speaking, he closed the door and walked out.
As the door closed, the rest room fell into darkness.
Mia lay on the bed, slowly opening her eyes.
James's scent still lingered in the air.
She raised her hand and gently touched her lips, swollen and red from his kisses. The slight pain went straight to her heart.
Her body's reaction and the difficulty in her heart at this moment made it clear to her that James was still in her heart.
It's just that she had lost her courage.
She was too hurt.
So she didn't dare touch it again.
As long as she didn't touch it, it wouldn't hurt.
Mia adjusted her emotions as quickly as possible. She turned on the light, changed her clothes, and then left the rest room.
James sat on the sofa, wearing his hospital gown loosely hanging on him without bothering to straighten it.
Hearing her come out, he didn't look at her.
Mia's gaze lingered on him for a few seconds before slowly withdrawing. She said softly: "I'm going to the company now. Rest well."
James responded faintly: "Okay."
Mia didn't say more and left the hospital room directly.
After she left, James sat alone on the sofa and laughed bitterly.
What he understood as caring was just his own assumption all along.
These past few days, with Mia willing to stay and take care of him, he thought their relationship had moved forward a step.
But he didn't expect they had returned to square one.
...
Having hurt James, Mia wasn't in a good mood herself. After leaving the hospital, just as she was about to take out her phone, a taxi happened to drive up and stop in front of her.
Mia opened the door and got in. A fragrant smell hit her nose.
She thought it was car air freshener and didn't think much of it. After giving the address, her gaze turned to the window, her mind unable to shake James's hurt expression.
The taxi hadn't gone far when Mia sensed something was wrong, but it was too late. Her body went limp and she collapsed in the back seat.