Chapter 155: James, I Forgive You
Mia leaned gently against James. She didn't respond to his words, but she didn't snap at him with cold remarks or push him away like before either.
James noticed, and his arms tightened around her.
During this time, Mia had been like a hedgehog, covered in spikes all over.
Pricking him at every turn.
He hadn't held her like this in so long.
Love came without warning and ran deep.
By the time he realized it, he was already deeply in love with Mia.
It wasn't that he didn't understand what Mia wanted most.
But loving her so deeply, how could he bear to easily let go of the person he loved?
He couldn't let go, so he could only desperately try to win her back.
But no matter what he did, Mia wouldn't give him even the slightest chance.
"James, we can't go back."
That one phrase—we can't go back—carried her endless exhaustion and heartbreak.
It wasn't that she hadn't seen his attitude toward Amelia.
Or that she didn't know James really wanted to make things right.
But she was truly tired. She just couldn't trust him anymore.
Even though she could see his sincerity, see him trying hard to win her back.
Their relationship had long been a dead end. It was just that James was still struggling desperately, and each struggle came at the cost of whatever feelings they once had.
Before, when he forced her to sign that agreement, she had been ready to torture each other, to fight to the bitter end.
She was determined to exhaust all the feelings between them, to erase all the good times they once had.
These past days, bit by bit, they had been torturing each other, pushing each other further and further away.
Some things, once they happen, have happened. She couldn't let go, couldn't get past it.
Her heart was already full of holes, covered in scars.
To start over would be harder than reaching the sky.
Seeing him, she would remember all the hurt between them.
And remember those things from the past she didn't want to think about.
With her heart broken like this, there was no way back.
Between them, it wasn't as simple as him saying sorry and her saying she forgave him, and all past hurts could be erased, as if nothing had happened.
They really couldn't go back.
That phrase—we can't go back—cut James like a knife.
Those words were too cruel for him.
His arms tightened even more, their bodies pressed closer together, as if this way he could keep her nearer to him.
Eyes red, unwilling to accept it, he whispered in her ear, "You still have feelings for me, so why do you say we can't go back?"
He knew she still had feelings for him.
Loving someone—how could you just stop loving them?
It was because he knew this that he was fighting so hard to win her back.
If she really didn't love him anymore, she wouldn't react when he touched her.
Women are different from men.
When a woman faces a man she doesn't love, there's only disgust and revulsion. Her body won't respond.
But Mia, even though she kept resisting, still responded in his arms.
That's why he kept insisting on their marital duties.
As long as she responded to him, it meant she still had feelings for him deep down.
It meant he still had a chance.
But now, Mia was saying they couldn't go back.
He didn't understand. He truly loved her, and she still had feelings for him—how could they not go back?
"Honey, I know I was wrong. It's all my fault."
"The thing with Amelia was my fault. I was too presumptuous, too blind, which gave her the chance to come between us."
"It was my fault. I didn't recognize my own feelings, didn't realize I'd fallen in love with you sooner, which made you so sad."
"It was my fault. I was the one who was wrong all along, yet I kept hurting you."
"Honey, it's all my fault. I was wrong. I made a terrible mistake, and because of it, we lost our baby too."
"I really know I was wrong."
His heart was filled with endless regret and self-blame.
He knew he'd done many wrong things, knew he'd hurt Mia deeply.
But he really wanted to make up for it.
He really didn't want to let go.
He couldn't imagine what he would do if Mia wasn't in his life.
"Honey, forgive me, please forgive me... one last time, okay?"
James held Mia tightly. In the darkness, hot tears kept flowing from his eyes.
His reluctance was so obvious.
He really couldn't bear to let go.
He just wanted to hold her tight like this, never let go, never let her leave him.
Mia listened to James's confession, listened to him humble himself completely, begging desperately, pleading over and over in her ear for her forgiveness.
Mia's vision grew blurrier and blurrier.
Tears rolled from her eyes, falling in large drops.
One by one, they landed on the back of his hand wrapped around her waist.
Each drop pierced James's heart.
She felt James's grip getting tighter and tighter. She slowly raised her hand and placed it on his.
Not to pry him off, but to slowly hold on tight. Through her tears, she said softly, "James, I forgive you."