Chapter 30: A Painful Battle
WE DON'T know what holds tomorrow. Hindi natin alam kung ano ang mangyayari bukas, mamaya o sa susunod na araw. Pati nga plano mo'y hindi ka sigurado kung mangyayari, dahil pati ikaw hindi mo sigurado kung aabot pa ng bukas. Kaya naman kailangan na nating sulitin ang bawat sandali, ang lahat ng sa kasalukuyan para walang kang pagsisihan.
"Ay hindi ko 'to nagawa, sayang."
We should do things we want while we are still able, because we don't what holds tomorrow.
I was a kid when I met Isaiah, he was the only one who played with me in Mileage. Hindi ko pa noon naiintindihan kung bakit walang batang gustong makipagkaibigan sa akin sa Mileage, ngayon ko lang nalaman kung bakit. Nakalat na kasi ang gulo na nangyari sa palasyo, ang walang katotohanang akusasyon sa papa ko at dahil doon ay iniwasan kami ng lahat.
Ang pamilya lang ni Isaiah ang nag-iisang tumanggap sa amin. Marahil siguro'y naintindihan ng pamilya niya ang pamilya namin dahil parehas na nagtrabaho noon sa palasyo ang mga Papa namin. Isa na rin siguro ang dahilan kung bakit naging close kami ni Isaiah nang ganoon kabilis.
"We were born to be friends..." Iyon ang unang saad ni Isaiah sa akin, iyon ang simula ng una naming pag-uusap. Doon kami naging magkaibigan.
Hanggang sa tuluyan na kaming naging close, siya lang kasi ang nakakausap at nakakalaro ko sa Mileage.
"Kornalina, what do you want to be when you grow older?"
I smiled, "I want to join the kingdom force!"
He sarcastically laugh, the guts of this kid to laugh at me when it was him who asked what I wanted to be, "But that thing isn't for girls."
"Well at least to help the warriors by mending them." Nakanguso kong sagot.
"You won't ask me?"
I immediately looked at him in excitement, "What do you want, when you grow up?"
"I want to marry you, what do you think?"
---
"Kornalina, you won't leave me, right?"
I frowned, "What do you mean? It does depend on a situation, Isaiah."
"Because I won't leave you. I just want to know if you won't leave me, because I'll never leave, Kornalina."
---
"Very beautiful fingers, Kornalina. You are very feminine yet you still want to join the Armed force?"
I nodded, "Of course, these hands won't change my mind."
"What about I change your hands?"
I furrowed, "What do you mean? You can't change my hands!"
"No," He immediately opposed and captured my fingers, "Nothing. There's nothing in your fingers, right? One day, I'll put a ring on it. It'll change everything, Kornalina."
---
"I've heard you'll leave Mileage, is it true? Kornalina?"
I became sad all of a sudden, "It's not my decision tho."
"You said you won't leave me."
"Isaiah, I can't still decide--"
He cut me off, "I'll follow you. I'll always follow you, even to death."
---
"Isaiah..."
"Aalis kayo?"
"Lilipat kami sa Heimdall, Isaiah."
"Iiwan mo ako? Diba sabi mo walang iwanan! G--gagawin ko ang lahat para sa'yo, 'wag mo 'kong iiwan!"
"Magkikita pa naman tayo, Isaiah."
"Iiwan mo ako. Wag! Maglalaro pa tayo."
"Kailangan daw naming umalis, Isaiah."
---
"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you. Finally, I found you." Isaiah came singing to me under the cold starry night.
"You finally talked to me. Akala ko'y wala ka nang balak kausapin ako mula nang umalis kami sa Mileage."
He sat beside me, "Matitiis ba kita? Pagkakita ko palang sayo gusto na kitang yakapin ng mahigpit."
"You missed me." I smiled and teased him.
But it seemed like he teased me more, "Always, Kornalina. I couldn't survive a day without thinking of you. I missed you so damn much."
---
"I guess you won't even remember me if I die." I sarcastically said in a low tone under the starry night.
"Even if I die, I'll still remember you. How about you, will you remember me, Kornalina?"
I smiled, "Of course, Isaiah. You'll always be remembered."
"Good. Cause, I have no plans on removing you from my heart."
---
"Kornalina?"
"Isaiah!" Pabulong kong sigaw sa gulat at nakahinga ng maluwag nang mapagtantong kaibigan ko ang humatak sa akin. Napalingon ako sa babaeng kasama niya, "Nethaniah!"
"Ano'ng problema mo? Ba't nakaganyan ka?" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Nethaniah, "Ano ba, Kornalina! Magpapakamatay ka ba?" Naiiyak nitong saad habang inaayos ang hitsura ko.
"Ano 'to?" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Isaiah.
"Kailangan kong sumama. Hindi ko na pwedeng hayaan si Papa, lagi na ngang sinusumpong ng sakit." Tugon ko.
Napasinghap ako nang hawakan ni Isaiah ang kamay ko, "Itatakas kita, Kornalina."
Agad ko namang binawi ang mga kamay ko, "Hindi pwede, Isaiah! Ginagawa ko 'to para sa pamilya ko!"
"Kailan ka ba gumawa ng bagay para sa sarili mo?"
Naluha ako, "Pakiusap. Wag niyo na akong pahirapan. Buo na ang desisyon ko, sasali ako sa sandatahang lakas."
"Hindi ka agad makakarating doon. Napakarami nilang pakulo, kailangan mong pumasa sa mga pagsusulit!" Giit ni Isaiah.
Marahan ko namang hinaplos ang pisngi niya upang pakalmahin siya, "Alam ko. Hindi ko 'to papasukin kung hindi ko kaya. Magtiwala kayo sa akin katulad ng pagtitiwala niyo kapag nanghuhuli tayo ng mga mababangis na hayop."
"Pero, Kornalina..."
"Hush," Pigil ko kay Nethaniah, "Pakiusap. Huwag niyong pababayaan ang pamilya ko rito. Babalik ako ng buhay."
'Next'
"Sige na!" Saad ko at nagmamadaling bumalik sa pila.
"Mag-iingat ka!" Ani Nethaniah.
Tumango na lamang ako at napalingon kay Isaiah na halata mong hindi sang-ayon.
"Huwag kang magugulat kung isang araw makita mo ako doon upang iligtas ka, Kornalina." Anito at tumalikod sa akin, "Huwag mong kakalimutan gagawin ko rin ang lahat para sa'yo."
---
"I-I've told you, I'll co-come to save y-you whatever it takes... and, so, y-you don't need to be shocked at all. I'm n-not too late, right?"
"I-saiah..."
-
--
MAS lalong naging malakas ang paghagulgol ko nang bumagsak sa tabi ko si Isaiah habang sa kabila naman ay si Kap na nakatusok parin ang espada sa kaniyang tiyan.
Hindi ko na alam kung kanino ako lilingon, ngunit mabilis na naagaw ni Kap ang atensyon ko nang umatungal siya na parang nahihirapan dahil pilit niyang tinatanggal ang espada sa kaniyang tiyan.
"K-kornalina..." Tawag ni Isaiah na hindi ko kaagad nalingon dahil nataranta ako sa nangyayari kay Kap, "K-kornalina..."
Nagsilapitan ang lahat sa amin, ang team Felidae at Canidae. Sakto ring nagsidatingan ang mga opisyal ng palasyo pagkabagsak ng Ministro. Pagkabagsak ni Isaiah sa harapan ko.
Ganoon na lamang ako nangilabot nang bumulong si Isaiah, "W-when a-are you going to look at the the way that I look at you, Kornalina?"
Mabilis akong napalingon kay Isaiah nang may luha parin sa aking mga mata.
"I-Isaiah, a-anong..."
"F-for the first time, for the first time look at me like you care."
Umiling-iling ako at pilit na inabot ang mukha ni Isaiah kahit na hirap na hirap ako, "A-ano bang pinagsasabi mo? Pa-paano ka nakarating dito?"
He smiled, "I-I sneaked in the palace, I p-passed through the guards." His eyes suddenly smiled doubling my heartbreak, "I- I joined the officials to congratulate y-you. I p-promised to serve with them so that they could bring me here, and they let me join them. I- I never expected to see you being beaten by t-that damn minister... ough!"
Dumoble ang pag-iyak ko nang sumuka siya nang dugo, mas lalo pa akong nanghina nang makita ang sira niyang tiyan.
"I-saiah..."
"I've t-told you, I-" Hindi na niya naituloy ang sasabihin niya nang muli na naman s'yang umubo.
Mas lalo tuloy akong naiyak. Nang oras na iyon ay ininda ko ang sakit na aking nararamdaman at pilit na inabot ang aking kaibigan.
"K-kapit lang, makakaligtas tayo dito..." paos na bulong ko habang hinahaplos ang duguan niyang mukha, "S-sana hindi mo nalang ako sinundan. Nadamay ka pa..."
Umiling-iling siya, "N-no, good thing I followed you. I did something really g-good for the first time. I'm so tired being called useless, and there's you cheering me making me feel l-like I'm worthy."
"Because you are, so please hold on."
Umiling-iling siya, "I d-don't think I could hold on anymore... I- I'm losing my breathe..." Hirap na hirap niyang saad atsaka hinawakan ang kamay kong humahaplos sa kaniyang pisngi at mariin iyong tinitigan, "T-too bad, I can't put a ring here anymore."
Ganoon na lamang natunaw ang puso ko.
"I-isaih, a-ano ba..."
"Just live... for me. Okay?"
Tumango-tango ako at hinawakan ng mahigpit ang kaniyang palad, "Live with me. We- we'll live, to-together."
A tears from his eyes escaped, "I- I thought the hardest part in my romantic life is... living while watching you happy with someone. B-but I was wrong, because this is more painful. Dying without telling you, how I truly feel."
"Come on, Isaiah. Stop it!" Pumiyok na ako dahil sa hirap, hindi na ako mahinto sa kakaiyak. Hindi ko na kaya ang mga sinasabi niya, hindi ko na kaya ang makita siyang nahihirapan.
"P-please live a happy life... without me," nakangiti niyang saad atsaka hinalikan ang palad ko, "I feel sorry for keeping this untold one-sided love. I'm about to die, y-yet I still don't have the courage to tell you h-how I truly feel towards you."
And then suddenly, the Arena was filled with medics and different people. But all I could hear was our whispers, Isaiah and I.
"Please... hold on." I whispered.
He smiled while slowly closing his eyes, "Thank you for making me feel worth it. You are the most amazing woman in my life..." He said before closing his eyes.
"I-saiah... ISAIAH!"
Dumagundong ang tinig ko sa buong Arena. Naagaw ng pag-iyak ko ang atensyon ng lahat, dahil sa malakas kong pag-iyak ay napunta ss amin ang paningin ng mga naroroon.
"ISAIAH!" I cried loud again while gripping him, I want to hug him but I couldn't move. All I can do is cry and hold him tight.
He's not moving anymore. But he's looking at my direction, while smiling.
Hindi na ako nahinto sa pag-iyak, sumasabay pa ang sakit na aking nararamdaman. Hindi lang katawan ko ang masakit, mas durog ang puso ko ngayon.
My childhood friend, the very first friend I've ever had, has fallen.
Isaiah died without telling me how he actually feels.
And he died without hearing how I truly treasure him.
I badly want to hug him, to wake him up and tell him how I truly care for him. How thankful I am that I met him, that he saved my life, how grateful I am that he came and how willing I am to give back what he has given me.
Just another chance... please.
But he didn't woke up. My Isaiah died saving me, without hearing his most awaited words;
"I told you, we were born to be friends right?" Isaiah came barging in our house approaching me with such confusing questions.
"What's the matter?"
"I've changed my mind. I was not born to make you just my friend, wait for me until we grow up. Okay?"
Without thinking, I nodded. "Okay."
Ni minsan ay hindi ko binigyan ng kahulugan ang mga kilos niya noon. At kung hindi pa dumating ang araw n ito'y hindi ko iyon maiintindihan. Shame on me, I never understood him, I never appreciated his efforts for me.
But Isaiah, I badly want to tell you, "I care for you, more than I care for myself."
I lost my senses together when the medics gripped Isaiah away from me. Ilang mura pa ang ginawa ko para lamang huwag nilang makuha si Isaiah sa akin, ngunit wala na akong nagawa nang tuluyan nang mawala sa paningin ko ang katawan ni Isaiah na bitbit mga medics.
Fuxk this life! Why does life seemed to hate me? Firstly, it ruined my family. Now, cruelty killed my bestfriend. And it's sad how we were unable to say things before we finally separated.
Isaiah died, without a proper goodbye. How can I even say farewell to him now?
Nahinto na lamang ako sa pagtawag sa pangalan niya nang maramdaman ang pagdaplis ng pamilyar at malamig na kamay sa aking tabi. Pinilit ko ang sarili kong kumalma at tumitig na lamang sa langit, nagtatanong kung bakit ito nangyayari ngayon.
Bakit ba bigla na lang dumating ang kaibigan ko? At bakit- ganito ang nangyari sa amin?
"Isaiah, you'll always be remembered." I whispered in the air as the crystal waters from my eyes watered my lashes.
Napalingon ako sa sigawan ng mga medics na nasa tabi. Halos mawala na ako sa aking katinuan kanina, at ngayon ay tuluyan na akong mawawala sa sarili kung isa pang mahalaga sa akin ang mawawala.
The medics are trying to revive the Captain who's not moving and not even breathing beside. They're trying their best to revive the devastated Captain who did tried his best to save his team, to save me.
What the hell is this?
"C-captain Onyx!"