See Her

See Her
\[Lucian’s POV\]
I stare at my father as he takes me in like he is seeing me for the first time. It’s clear from his expression that he isn’t necessarily here with me but instead somewhere far away.
“We met when we were kids.” He begins, his gaze becoming clear again. “Did you know that?”
“No,” I respond. “Mother never really talked about your relationship because it pained her too much.”
I also just didn’t find the need to ask about him. I think silently. If I did, I would have just made my mother sad.
As far as I could remember, she just waited for him. Expecting him to actually leave Lux’s mother and be with her, but we both knew that wouldn’t happen.
In the end, she died alone, and I resented my father ever since.
“We met when my family and I went on a vacation to the East.” He continues when I don’t speak. “She reminded me of an angel the first time I saw her. Someone who was too perfect to be walking among the land of the living.”
“And yet you treated her like that.” I growl, hating what I was hearing. “You left her to wither away and die while waiting for you to come.”
“I had my reasons.” He sighs. “And I had my duty to the pack.”
“Duty,” I spit. “I hate that word.”
“Maybe,” he agrees. “But if you had grown up in Lux’s position, then you too would have had a duty to uphold. That’s why I never wanted that for you. I knew that if I forced you into the same life as our own, she would hate it.”
‘This sounds like a load of bullshit.’ Aspen growls, openly speaking what I was feeling. ‘It sounds like he is simply trying to make you forgive him for all he has done.’
‘That will never happen.’
How could I forgive the man that all but killed my mother with his own two hands and forced me onto the battlefield since I was young? I couldn’t, and I wouldn’t.
“My marriage with Lux’s mother was an arranged one.” My father sighs, drawing me back to the present. “It was considered a good choice to strengthen the pack since Crimson Moon didn’t have a daughter to marry me off to at the time.”
But they did. I think, finding fault in his explanation. They had Pandora’s mother, Mira, to fulfill the prophecy with the son of Onyx Moon.
If that came to be, then you would never have Pandora. The small voice in the back of my head says. So, something good came out of it at least, but that was the only good thing about it.
“It was after our marriage that your mother came back into my life, but by then it was already too late. Lux’s mom was pregnant, and I couldn’t just abandon her.”
“So, you secretly met with my mother and got her pregnant too?” I demand. “You know what, I thought that I would be able to listen to your explanation, but this is just ridiculous. In the end, nothing you say will make things better.”
As I speak, I can feel my anger beginning to bubble, threatening to overwhelm me and make me lash out at the man in front of me.
“I need to get out of here.” I think, not wanting to attack him since that could be what he wanted from the start. “Just save your story for someone who actually…”
“I tried to find a way to divorce Lux’s mom.”
My father’s voice rings out, filled with pleading for me to understand him, but I can’t.
“But in the end you didn’t, and that is the thing that matters the most.”
Finished speaking, I turn and head out of the room to find Pei’s father and Owen. They stand together awkwardly, and I understand that both men are trying to get along for the sake of the possible future relationship of the packs.
I can’t trust him. I think, taking in Pei’s father as I remember how easily he took my father’s side and then even Lux’s. I’ll have to replace him as soon as I can.
Keeping this in mind, I continue to move, wandering aimlessly through the packhouse that would soon be mine. I don’t know exactly where I’m going as I move because, for the first time, I can actually breathe.
Stopping, I feel my eyes widen as the reality of the situation slams into me, and then there’s only one thing I want to do.
“I want to see her.” I murmur, heading toward the packhouse's exit. “I want to see her and celebrate this achievement.”
With this thought in mind, I burst out of the building and onto the grounds that are now calm, but even then I don’t stop to take them in. I’m like a madman with one single thought.
I have to see her.
I continue to move, the world blurring around me until I reach the borders of Crimson Moon, where I’m stopped by guards.
“State your business.” One growls, his eyes glowing.
“I came to see Pandora.” I tell him.
“The princess?” He asks as his buddy chuckles. “And you think that we will just let you in?”
For a moment, I don’t speak as I stare at the two in front of me while understanding that with the way things have been, there was a good chance they wouldn’t allow me to pass them.
‘Should we just beat the shit out of them?’ Aspen asks, and though I would love to do nothing more than that, I know that will only cause trouble down the road for me.
“I’m a friend.” I try. “I want to see that she’s okay.”
“Sorry, kid.” The guard says. “Ain’t no way I’m letting you past me.”
“Then what about me?”
Feeling a wave of relief, I turn toward the one that spoke and find Owen standing behind me.
“Sir,” the guard gasps. “You’re back.”
“I am,” Owen confirms. “Things have been handled accordingly. And since they are, I would like to come and check the state of things in Crimson Moon since Alpha is still waiting on the elders in Onyx Moon.”
“Of course.”
The guard doesn’t even hesitate to back down for Owen, and when he steps out of the way, Owen nods at me.
“Go on then,” he smiles. “I’m certain the princess is waiting on you.”