Chapter 1

Chapter 1
Julia's POV

It started like it always did—a slow burn deep in my chest that quickly turned into searing agony. I buried my face into my pillow and bit down hard, desperate to muffle any sounds that might escape. The waves of pain radiated through my body, each one more intense than the last.

Nathan was with someone again tonight.

I curled into a tight ball on my bed, tears streaming silently down my face. Six months of this torture. Six long months since Nathan Reynolds, the future Alpha of the Star Shadow pack, had turned eighteen and awakened his wolf. Six months since he'd looked at me with those cold eyes and realized the horrifying truth—that I, Julia White, the weird herb-collecting freak he'd tormented since childhood, was his fated mate.

The pain intensified, and I shoved my fist against my mouth to stop from screaming. Through our unwanted connection, I could feel echoes of his pleasure, twisted into agony for me. He was with someone else. Again. The third time this week.

"Moon Goddess, please make it stop," I whispered into the darkness of my bedroom.

But the Moon Goddess had already made her choice, binding me to the one person who despised my existence. And Nathan had made his choice too—to punish me for being chosen as his mate by flaunting his rejection in the most painful way possible.

My body convulsed with another wave. Without my wolf—still dormant until my eighteenth birthday, a year away—I couldn't shift to ease the pain. I couldn't even formally reject him myself. I was trapped, helpless, forced to endure his cruelty without any defense.

"You'll never be worthy," he had told me that night six months ago, his voice dripping with contempt. "The moment you turn eighteen and get your wolf, I'm formally rejecting you. Until then, enjoy the wait."

Then he'd added the final blow: "And don't even think about telling anyone about this. Not your family, not your friends—no one. If I hear a whisper that you've been talking about being my mate, I'll make you wish you'd never been born."

Just six more months until I turned eighteen. Six more months of this hell before Nathan could formally reject me.

I pressed my palm against my mouth harder as another wave hit. Nathan knew exactly what he was doing to me. Each time he took another woman to his bed, the mate bond between us twisted into a torture device. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

The pain began to subside slightly, leaving me trembling and soaked in sweat. Nathan must have finished. I gasped for air, finally able to breathe without feeling like my chest was being torn open. Slowly, I uncurled my body and wiped the tears from my face with shaking hands.

My herbal notebook lay open on the desk beside a stack of nursing textbooks—my escape plan. If I could just hold out until I got accepted to a nursing program far away... But Nathan's words haunted me: "You belong to this pack, rejected mate or not. I won't have you wandering around making us look weak."

I stared at the moonlight filtering through my window, wondering what I'd done to deserve this fate. The clock on my nightstand read 3:17 AM. Another night of broken sleep before I had to face my family and pretend everything was fine.

---

"You look like hell," Eric announced as I entered the kitchen the next morning, his eyes narrowing with cruel interest.

I avoided eye contact, pouring myself a cup of coffee with hands that still trembled slightly.

"Seriously, what do you even do all night?" Sophia chimed in, not looking up from her phone. "Some weird herb ritual? Or are you just naturally this hideous in the morning?"

My mother continued packing lunches, not even bothering to respond to Sophia's barb. I gripped my coffee mug tighter, trying to steady myself.

"I heard weird noises coming from your room," Eric said, his voice deliberately loud enough for everyone to hear. "All that moaning and stuff. Were you fucking masturbating? That's disgusting."

"Eric!" My mother finally looked up, frowning. "Language at the breakfast table."

I took a careful sip of coffee, hoping the caffeine might help with the lingering headache while fighting back the urge to scream at him. I was enduring unimaginable agony because of Nathan, and here was my brother, calling me disgusting for sounds I couldn't control.

This was exactly why I could never turn to Eric for help or protection—unlike other sisters who relied on their brothers. To him, I was just a target for ridicule, not family worth defending.

"I was studying late," I lied, my voice barely above a whisper.

Eric snorted. "Studying what? How to be even more of a social outcast? Nathan was telling me yesterday how glad he is that you've finally stopped showing up at pack events."

Of course Nathan would say that. He couldn't risk someone noticing our connection if we were in the same room. Not that anyone would believe it—the future Alpha and the weird herb girl? Impossible.

"Eric," my father said as he entered the kitchen, his attention focused on his phone, "don't forget you're helping with training the younger wolves this afternoon." He barely acknowledged my presence with a quick nod before turning to my mother. "I'll be late tonight—council meeting with the Alpha."

My mother nodded, handing him his travel mug of coffee. "I left your notes for the meeting on your desk."

This was my family—my brother the star athlete and future warrior, my social butterfly sister, and my parents, always busy with their Beta responsibilities. And me, the invisible daughter with the secret that was slowly killing me.

"Nathan's hosting a party tonight," Sophia said, her voice brightening. "I'm helping decorate." She shot me a smug look. "Don't worry, you're definitely not invited."

Thank the Moon Goddess for small mercies. At least tonight I might get some actual sleep.

But apparently the Moon Goddess couldn't spare even this tiny mercy for me.

During lunch break at school, Sophia stormed up to me, her face flushed with anger. "What did you say to Nathan?" she demanded, jabbing a finger at me. "You must have been begging him for an invitation like some pathetic loser, right?"

My stomach dropped. "What are you talking about?"

"He told me to tell you that you're coming to the party tonight!"