|27| Campanelle-3

"Jess, I'm not judging. I promise. I just didn't realise it was that serious. Or that you even felt ready for it after Alex." I hated bringing up Alex, but we couldn't pretend he didn't exist. That would make the conversation even less genuine. "I think I want to," she said, her words slow and measured. "And the fact I'm even considering it suggests I'm ready. I don't know. I'm both nervous and excited. I've only ever slept with one person. And I was sleeping with him for four years." "I get that. And it's your choice, Jess." And the true situation finally hit me. I couldn't give her advice like I normally would. I couldn't say, just see how it feels and if it's not right then you'll know he's just a rebound. I couldn't say, perhaps just sleep with him to see if it's anything more than the excitement of having a new guy. And I definitely couldn't say, just keep it casual until you're sure you know if it's serious. Because all those pieces of advice would affect Jack. And I owed Jack my loyalty, too. I'd be a bitch to suggest that Jess be selfish and only take her own feelings into account, knowing that her decisions might hurt Jack. She'd be completely within her right to look after herself in that way, but I wasn't going to be the one who put Jack on the line through suggesting it. "Anyway, it's all good," she said. "It's new. It's exciting. We're both on the same page. If the party goes well, maybe we'll see if anything more comes of it, but he's being very sensitive in not rushing things. Not putting a label on anything. It's exactly what I need. It's just a shame he happens to be a close friend of yours." "He's great, Jess," I said, appreciating that she'd been frank with me. "And I'm happy for you." "And please don't be hurt that neither of us are talking to you about it. With how up and down things have been between Jack and me, we honestly just feel it's fairer this way. The situation is complicated enough, and we don't want to put you in a position where you're worrying about what to say and who to say it to." "I appreciate that, Jess. Honestly, I do. I think it's just tough for me from a friend perspective. My two closest friends are going through something that I can't help with. I can't support either of you. It's just a tough pill to swallow. Goes against my instincts." "I know it is and I know it does. But it's a unique situation. We're not keeping you out of it because we want to. We literally feel like it wouldn't be fair on you." From the living room, I heard Nathan swear in frustration-or pain-and Jasmine laugh with delight. At least there was nothing complicated going on with the other two people in my life. "How can I help you, then?" I asked Jess. "Because obviously it's impossible for me to ignore it's happening. Just be honest and I won't take offence." "If you're able to just let us get on with it, let us make mistakes if that happens, and then be reassured that if it does go tits up, neither of us will have any ill feelings towards you. Neither of us will accuse you of not giving us warnings. It'll be better because you won't have damaged your friendship with either of us in any potential crossfire that happens. Because if that does happen, we really will need you more than ever, Bells." It was abundantly clear that Jack and Jess had discussed this situation in detail and I admired their maturity in that. At least they were taking it seriously rather than just rushing into something without thinking about the consequences. When we ended the call, I debated whether to phone Jack in the interest of fairness-and I knew this was the exact situation over which Jess had been expressing her concerns. As it happened, he sent me a message just a few minutes later. Jack: Izzy, I love you to pieces, please don't be hurt over this. Every day I want to talk to you and tell you about it. I hate not sharing this with you. Feels like I'm keeping a secret. Hence the "reveal" on the group chat. We didn't want to tell you separately and make you feel obliged to give an opinion. We don't want this to turn into a huge deal when it's so new. Really hope you understand. X His kind words made me teary. Jack's light-hearted, jokey side rarely got replaced with his more serious, compassionate one. It proved his words were genuine, and it only made me more emotional about the situation. My two best friends were going through something so exciting, and I couldn't be a part of it. But I could respect their wishes and show my support that way instead. Me: Completely understand and very happy for you both. Love you too x ❆❆❆