30: The Anticipation-3

"What the hell Andrew? Is that yours? Where did you get it?" "It's a she, she's a girl. I haven't figured out what to name her yet." Andrew replied, as if it was perfectly normal for him to have a child in his arms, his child. "You can't be serious?" "Why didn't you tell anyone?" Katie asked, her eyes fixed on the tiny baby that lay in his arms. "I only found out yesterday. I've been so busy trying to organise everything since then, I needed to get furniture and food and everything else so my head's been up my ass." "So she hasn't got a name yet?" Katie was filled with curiosity. "Forget about her name, how did she get here? Where's her mother? I don't understand." Colin couldn't wrap his head around the concept of his brother having a child. "A girl I dated last year for a couple of months totally ghosted me for no reason- well, I guess this was the reason right here. She turned up at my place yesterday with the baby, said she couldn't handle it and that she was just as much my responsibility as she was hers- which is true, but I didn't know anything about it? She never told me, if she did, I would've liked to be there, you know, throughout the pregnancy. She handed me the baby, blurted out this huge speech then left." "What if she changes her mind in a couple days and you've already grown attached?" "Well she's my baby too, I'm going to want to see her a lot even if she changes her mind." Andrew narrowed his eyes at his brother. "Aren't you happy, you're an uncle now?" "I never thought of it like that." Colin's features softened, his whole demeanour turned from irritable to eager. "Can I hold her?" "Sure- but make sure you hold her properly. Look, like this." Andrew delicately handed her to the other man, both brothers' eyes being stuck to the cute little thing wrapped in a cosy blanket. Colin sat down and Katie soon followed, unable to keep her eyes off the little girl either. "She's beautiful Andrew." Katie said, a smile crossing her lips then. "She sure is." Colin agreed. Andrew was still in shock from the entire situation, he couldn't believe that he was a father- but the time periods added up and there could be no denying it. He wished he had have found out sooner, Andrew had always planned to have children, maybe not yet but sometimes unexpected things happened. He could certainly support a child financially, he had a house that was also too big for him alone and being so high up in the company, work hours could be organised around the baby. Although having a child was not planned for him, he found it so strange how it seemed to fit in perfectly to everything happening in his life, as if fatherhood was meant to come about at this exact time. He knew he may have been getting a little too ahead of himself, his ex-girlfriend could turn up at his door again tomorrow and demand the baby back, but she was part his then too and he was so happy about it. Since she turned up yesterday, he already felt like there was a bond. Andrew knew it was going to be very hard work, as she was only just over a week old at that stage, but he wanted to keep her. He would need to sort out custody with his legal team once she was settled in well and he had the time. Katie requested that she could hold the baby then too, breaking into Andrew's thoughts. Colin handed her over and she stirred for a moment or two in her arms. "I'm surprised she's not awake yet, she's due a feed in a little while." "So... a name? I'm sure everything's been completely turned upside since she arrived yesterday." Katie asked. He paused, a name was the first thing that entered his mind once he saw her but he had been trying to decide and deal with everything else so wasn't completely sure yet. "I was thinking Hazel." The way he spoke, it sounded as if he was kind of shy to admit the name he liked the most. "That's really nice." They all sat there for another while, talking quietly until the baby woke up and needed to be fed. Colin and Katie stayed for another hour or so before heading home. The car ride was quiet at first, but as they neared Colin's apartment, a sadness washed over him as he realised how little time he had left with his girlfriend before he went away. Katie pulled into the car park of his building and as they both made their way up to the top floor in the elevator, she began to sense something was up. Her hand curled around his and they walked up the long hallway. "Everything okay?" she squeezed his hand. "Yeah, sure." He nodded and gave her a small smile but it was in no way reassuring. She was not convinced, and rightly so. "I'm just tired." Colin added as he opened the door and moved out of the way so she could enter first. "You look tired." They stood in the hallway of his apartment after he shut the door, staring back at each other. Katie took a step toward him and reached up to run her thumb over his cheek. She noticed how dark the circles were under his bright eyes, how deflated and exhausted he looked. Katie was worried about him, but she knew everything would only get better once he took the first step for rehab. "Yeah, I haven't been sleeping great the past while." He mumbled his words slightly, avoiding eye contact as he was brought back to the many restless nights he had with her by his side. If he hadn't been sleeping great before, he definitely would not be sleeping at all for the last two nights he had to spend with her he would be kept awake worrying about what was in store for him in rehab. Colin didn't want to admit that he was terrified of what was to come, not even to her. It was like stepping into the complete unknown, he didn't know what to expect, he had no idea how difficult it was going to be to go completely cold turkey and the thought of therapy scared him. Colin was afraid of failing, and afraid of what therapy might uncover. He was afraid of relapsing and the disappointment that might cause Katie to feel. He was afraid that rehab just wouldn't work, but he would give it a try anyway. Although he should want to get clean for himself, the only thing pushing him through was Katie. He was struggling already, and he hadn't even left yet. "Maybe I could change from inpatient to outpatient instead-" "Colin." Katie warned before giving him a knowing look. She held both hands on each side of his face then, urging him silently to look her in the eye. She knew he was getting doubts about the whole thing and if he wanted to change his mind she could not stop him, he was a grown adult, but she felt like inpatient care would be what was best for him at that moment in time. Katie had said it before and she was going to have to say it again. "Look... at the end of the day, it is your decision. But I really think it would be better to begin with inpatient care. We both agreed on this when we planned it. I know it's scary and the next couple months are going to be even scarier, but I know you can get through it." He knew she was right, but he was getting cold feet- that was- until he looked into her eyes, saw how they pleaded with him. Katie knew what was best for him, and so, despite changing his mind over and over again, Colin would finally attend rehab in two days.