Chapter 58 Chapter 57
ADRIANA'S POV
When I went back to the room, Daciana was already there waiting for me. She didn't waste any time dragging me out back to where she had a breakfast styled picnic basket ready. If she noticed my bad mood, she didn't say anything about it. She just waved for me to come over after spreading the mat and then she took her time to serve me. I managed to smile when she asked if I liked how she served it.
We ate in silence; she looked like she wanted to talk through most of breakfast but decided to keep whatever she was thinking to herself. Candace was the one that cleared the place after we were done. I laid down on my back, the grass making a soft bed and closed my eyes, everything my father said coming back to me full force. He didn't even say anything remotely bad, compared to the other things he used to tell me. The only thing that gave me remote peace was the fact that I stood my ground this time and didn't let him walk over me.
I wasn't scared or worried about where I would go or any of the things I used to be scared of before. I know for the foreseeable future I'm going to stay here. Xander didn't look like he plans on letting me go anytime soon. I didn't have a problem with that right now because I had nowhere else to go. I would much rather skin myself alive than go back to my father's back.
It may be nothing but I've learned one thing since I came here, not something that I didn't know before but I finally have the back to stand straight for it. I wasn't useless or worthless like my father and brothers made me believe. I wasn't any less human or wolf than them because I didn't have a wolf. If I'd been trained and not kept like a dirty little secret all my life, I know very well I would have been able to do something for myself. I have no idea how to fight which is disgraceful for any female wolf.
Most packs now have female warriors, in the history books I've read about ancient wolves and lycans. How they were before wolves decided they wanted to be more. A woman had led their army and she brought them to victory. I wanted to be brave like that.
Damien had found me reading the book once, about the lycan queen who gave the wolves freedom. He'd called me a waste, promising I wouldn't account for anything. That had hurt even when I didn't understand what he meant, I'd cried and promised to be strong like that. Whenever they were away from the house, I used the servants door o sneak out. I would sneak to the training ground and try to imitate their moves and how they fought. Carlson was the one that caught me once, he came back home from school early, unfortunately for me and when he didn't find me there he looked around.
I remembered every part of that day like it happened just a few seconds ago.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he yelled from behind me. I jumped, startled and turned to face him. He looked angry, his entire face turning red. I moved back, scared of what he might do to me.
I know father would kill me if he was told, he told me never to leave the house without his permission and unless I was told by him or any of my brothers. I wasn't even allowed to follow the beta if the order didn't come from my father. The biggest crime I could commit was this, going out without permission.
"N-nothing." I stuttered, gripping the hem of my worn-out shirt. I'd found it in the attic when I was cleaning and since the old one was torn by him a few days ago and I couldn't fix it, I washed it and made it mine. I've been wearing a sweater since I have nothing else to
wear.
I looked over Carlson's shoulder, half hoping someone would appear but also dreading it. That would only make them have more witnesses. On a normal basis, they made up stories to get me punished, I didn't want to think of the things they would say now that I actually did something I wasn't supposed.
"Why the hell are you not in the house then?" Carlson took a step forward while I took two back. I turned to the side, trying to find another escape route. "You better not even think about it." He said, seeing what I was thinking of doing.
I stood still after he said that, I was always more scared of him than Damien. While his older brother saved himself the trouble by acting like I didn't exist, Carlson loved torturing me. He was the worst bully and unfortunately for me, we lived under the same roof.
"I asked you a question, you stupid bitch!" he snapped, which made a frightened sound leave my mouth. He growled, baring his canines at me. He was only seventeen but his wolf was already very dominant being the alpha's son. He would have the beta position I've been told. I felt sorry for myself and the other pack members because he is selfish.
"I Ij j just wa"
"Stop sounding like an imbecile. Why. Did. You. Leave. The. House?" I shook my head, tears already filling my eyes from how loud he was speaking. I'm trembling at this point, my hands shaking like I was left out with nothing but a flimsy top in the late December snow. There was a certain terror that Carlson instilled in me, even the fear I felt for my father wasn't that bad.
"I wanted to learn how to fight." I replied, the words came out jumbled. My hands couldn't even hold on to the shirt now, from how bad it was shaking.
Carlson took in my dressing, the snarl never leaving his face. When his eyes came back to my face, I felt like his anger was renewed. "Who the fuck gave you that?!" he asked, pointing over the worn shirt. I explained what happened and why I had to change. He laughed when I finished. Tears were streaming down my face and that annoyed him. "I haven't even touched you, what the fuck are you crying for?"
His voice was very deep for someone who wasn't even eighteen yet. Wolves matured faster than humans so it wasn't a thing surprise. I shook my head, close to sobbing. He groaned and stalked forward. I was too slow this time and he gripped me by my hair, I cried out pleading with him to release me. They fell on deaf ears and he pulled me through the woods surrounding the training grounds. I thought it was the best spot because it kept me hidden from other pack members, and the smell of the dense trees masked my scent well so it was the perfect hiding spot where I was sure I wouldn't get caught. Now I regret coming here.
Though it didn't make much difference, no one would spare us a glance even if he were to drag me this way through the streets.
"Please stop it, you're hurting me." I sobbed, begging him. I reached for my hair, trying to keep him from pulling it from the roots. He pulled harder when he noticed.
"I am aware of that, it's what I want to do." He replied with a sinister smile. He stopped all of a sudden and tugged me forward, I wasn't expecting him to stop so I didn't brace myself. I fell to the hard ground, the skin of my knees and elbows taking the burn of the fall. I felt pieces of stone embedding themselves in my skin. I opened my mouth but I couldn't even cry, the only thing I could do was heave. My breaths coming out shallow.
Carlson got annoyed and he slapped me hard, I shuddered, more tears streaming down my face.
"You're a useless piece f trash." he said each word with a kick, at every part of my body. My back, my ribs. Anywhere he could get. I curled into myself, lying on the ground in a fetal position. "Stupid whore." He leaned down and dragged my hair again. I only whimpered, not having the strength to cry out. I know if I did anything like that, it would only anger him more and prolong this.
"Did you think I was stupid?" I shook my head, my lips trembling, "Use your damn words!"
"N..no," I stuttered.
"Then why the fuck did you lie? You're training? Do I look like a fucking idiot to you?! Dirty slut. If I see you outside again, I'm going to
kill you." He said to me, looking into my eyes.
"I'm going to kill you." He added, for certainty.
"Now get the hell out of here." He stood up and kicked me again, his hateful glare burning the side of my face.
I tried to get up but he must have hit my leg hard, I couldn't lift it up. He stared at me for a few more seconds before deciding I wasn't worth it. He turned and walked away, leaving me a bloody mess on the ground.
I cried, not having the strength to get up.
"Adriana." I blinked multiple times before my eyes cleared and Daciana's worried face came into my view. I lifted myself up and sat straighter. "Is everything okay? Why are you crying?" She lowered her voice and tapped my hand.
My hand went up and I touched my cheeks, feeling the wetness there. I hadn't even realized I was crying.
"Nothing." She gave me a look. I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes, trying to keep a straight face. "I just remembered something."
"What is it?" she spoke softly.
"I don't want to talk about it." I said simply. Daciana nodded.
"Okay," we stayed quiet after that. I was trying to forget the bitter memory of what I used to go through. What I had to go through all
my life.
I was bringing a stop to it now. I just started with my father and I hoped I wouldn't have to see either of my brothers anytime soon.
"Daciana," I called and she looked up immediately.
"Yes, do you need anything?"
"Can you please teach me how to fight?"