SAKSHI POV:
I didn't answer his question. Because I can't keep requesting him to trust me. I can't make him realise all the time that I didn't do anything wrong.
I am broken completely this time. Till now I am scared of missing him. But now I want to run away from a person like him. He lost his manners. He never miss any chance to hurt me.
If this is how my life going to be forever,then I am the one to accept it. If it continues forever,even my own daughter may not love me, influenced by her dad.
I love him. It is making me weak before him. If he shows love, I am melting. If he is angry, I am scared. If he shouts, I am baring. If he hurts, I am hurted. I am totally acting according to him. For him I am puppet with no feelings.
I kept my life in his hands, to see him playing with it. Does he ever knew how much his words hurt? Am I a human or a emotionless humanoid to bare all this?
I realised my mistake and tried till now to seek forgiveness. But now its time to make him realise his mistake. If he won't treat me as wife and disrespects me, then I will show him my place in his life.
I love him but I am not weak. I can't hurt him. But I can stop hurting myself. I can keep up my respect. I can be strong enough to face him.
If he wants to play emotionally with me, I won't allow him. If he wants to break me more, I decide to be more confident.
He can hurt me, only when I permit him to do so. If I refuse to get hurted, no one can hurt me. Now its beyond the limit.
Till now I am half dead. Letting him to do whatever he wants with my heart, soul and body. I killed myself, my self respect and my courage.I decided. To be strong. To be confident. To be fully alive.
I trusted him. So I gave myself to him with love. I never done it with anyone. But he had no trust on me. No love too. Now I doubt his intentions while love making. For me, its love making. But for him, it may be just fulfilling his need.
My heart started crying at my words. I can't help. Controlling tears shed by eyes is difficult at this moment. How can I expect to control tears shed by heart?
I failed in love. I failed in love after marrying my love. I failed as a wife in regaining husband's love. But I don't fail in life. I won't fail as a woman. I will become a successful mother. I will be an inspirational business woman.
"What are you thinking my dear wife? Do u think I trust your words so easily?" he smirked
"After all only I know what you are" He said lighting his cigar
I stood still. No reaction. No emotion.
He held my hand tight.
"I don't understand why your every friend wants to be your boy friend. First Ajay and now Aayudh. If you didn't attract them towards you, why do they fall for you."
He tightened his grip. His nails found its way into my soft skin. I sensed a warm red liquid coming out from my wrist. But his words are more painful than his hold.
"I know well you love to attract men. Your way of dressing and behaviour makes them crazy. I think I should teach you what to wear. And how to behave. But all this in my way."
I can't hold tears anymore. Tears flowed from my eyes. I closed my eyes. He made his nails to go deep into my skin again at the same place where he hurted few minutes before. I shouted out of pain.
"Quiet baby. So now u want me to save you from your ex husband. I will for sure. Because its me who should punish you. Not anyone else." he said
"I can save myself. I can handle my problems on my own. I hate dependency. I told you truth because you are my husband. You need to know about my past. But I am not weak. I am strong enough to face anything."
"Yes of course you will. Because you know to deal with him. You may have dealt with him many times. You know to calm him. By satisfying him." He said gritting his teeth.
"RANDHIR"
I felt his palm hitting my cheek hard.
"Don't raise your voice. You have no right to do so" he said with serious looks
"Why are you behaving like this again" I said knowing I can't hold my doubt anymore.
"Why shouldn't I? when I know you betrayed me again"
"What?"
"Yes. You married Aayudh. Hiding it, you married me."
"But you said you forgave me for that"
"Yes, I did. But not now. After knowing that you saved your ex husband till now, I won't forgive you"
My phone rang. I received the call. Its Ajay. Ajay asked me to meet. I agreed.
"You are not meeting him" He said angrily
I didn't answer him and got ready. I wore a suit.
"Change your dress. Wear the dress which I ordered you before to wear." He interfered
"This is more comfortable and dignified too. I am not revealing myself which you said before not to do."
He held my hand when I am about to go
"I said change the dress. Don't meet Ajay. Come inside now"
"Leave my hand Randhir. You can't control a person for long time with anger. Only love can.Leave my hand now or let me go forever"
He left my hand. Sneha is observing us. I gave no glare to her. I started my car to go.
Ajay called me saying that Aayudh abducted my parents. I need to go. I understood that Randhir never understands me. So I didn't say anything to me. I felt guilty for being so rude to him. I got hurted just for being rude for 5 minutes.
How can he be rude to me 24hrs? We can't hurt one we love. If we hurt, it means we don't love them. He doesn't love me. He hates me.
Randhir Pov:
Sakshi went to meet Ajay. I warned her not to go. But she went.
She got shocked with my behaviour. But why? Did she think I do believe everything she said? She said she married Aayudh but still she is virgin, is it true?
I hate her. I hate her more than before. She betrayed me twice. She cares for Aayudh even now. She cares for Ajay. She care for everyone. If she is mine, she must care only for me.
I am not going to forgive her now. She went to meet Ajay though I refused. I will make her realise how wrong it is. How much it hurts her when she disobeys me.