Chapter 16 Shaken
Lying on the bed, I felt a little better than I had earlier. My body still itched from the effort of pretending I was fine, but I knew I’d be fine. I just need a few more minutes to sit with the pain, and then maybe I could fall asleep… I really need that sleep after this long day.
Dinner with Carlos’s siblings had ended on an awkward note. No one spoke to me after the confrontation, and none of them bothered to say goodbye before leaving. I guess Caroline’s opinion really matters to them. They seemed fine with me at first, but the moment she snapped, it was like I didn’t exist anymore.
The bedroom door creaked open, but I didn’t turn. I already knew it was Carlos, after all, he’s the only one in this mansion.
"You left without permission," He said, referring to this morning’s incident.
I let out a long sigh, I’m really not ready for any drama right now. I casually responded, "I thought we were over that already."
"Says who?" He groaned.
I finally turned to face him, the weight of everything making my chest feel heavy. "I’m sorry for leaving without permission," I said wanting to end the conversation as quickly as possible
"Sorry is bullshit. It means nothing."
"Well, that’s all I’ve got," I said quietly. "If not an apology, then what else do you want me to do?"
"Understand."
"I do understand," I replied
He scoffed "No you don’t." He began approaching me "You only understand the situation, you don’t understand what you’re putting me through."
I looked at him confused, as I sat up from bed "I don’t get it."
"Of course you don’t." He snapped, his voice was sharp, loaded with frustration. He reached the bed and sat beside me, his presence heavy and cold.
I quickly avoided his eyes, but it didn’t help.
"Look at me," He ordered, grabbing my chin and forcing my gaze to meet his. He leaned in, close enough that I could feel his breath on my skin. "Do you know what that does to me?" He asked, his voice low and hard.
I stayed silent, just staring.
He didn’t wait for an answer as he continued "Knowing you disappeared without a trace."
"I’m sorry," I said quietly
He gently shushed me, pressing a finger softly against my lips. His eyes stayed locked on mine. I couldn’t look away either even if I tried. Then, his other hand slid slowly up my thigh, and my body tensed in response.
My breath caught before I could stop it. I’m not used to this, any of this. His touch, the closeness, the way my body reacted like it was no longer mine.
Carlos’s palm slowly found my waist, and I felt the warmth of it through the thin fabric of my dress. I shiver, unsure if it’s fear, shock, or something I don’t have a name for yet.
"I should punish you," He murmured, voice dipping lower.
"Then do it," I whisper, the words slipping out before I can even think them through.
Immediately, his mouth crushed into mine.
It steals the breath from my lungs. It’s wild, urgent, nothing like the books I’ve read or the quiet daydreams I’ve had in my head. It’s real.
And I don’t know what to do.
His lips moved against mine with surety, with possession, like he’s done this a thousand times and I’ve only ever existed to be kissed like that by him.
I froze for a second, then slowly, hesitantly respond. It’s messy and uncoordinated. I don’t know how to kiss. I’ve never kissed anyone before so it’s all overwhelming to me.
I didn’t know if I was doing it right or wrong but given Carlos didn’t pull away, I figured he was enjoying it.
He held my head steady, groaning against my lips as if my inexperience drove him insane. His fingers tangled gently in my hair, tipping my head back, and the kiss deepened. I feel it in my stomach, in my spine, in every part of me that’s never been touched before.
His hands started to wander around my waist, touching me as if he owned me like I wanted to claim me.
I felt my heart racing, for some reason, I was loving it but I don’t even know why. All I know is that I’m trembling, confused, and completely overwhelmed. But just as the heat began to blur the panic into something else entirely
He pulled back. Not far. Just enough to let me breathe again. His hand stayed at my waist, holding me steady. He then leaned in and brushed his lips near my ear. "You’ve never kissed anyone before, have you?"
I couldn’t answer. I was breathless but mostly ashamed because his assumption is right, I’ve never truly kissed anyone. As if Carlos could read my mind, he smirked "I thought as much."
Now I was even more ashamed. I quickly lowered my gaze, but he gently lifted my face again, firm but not rough.
"You don’t have to be ashamed, Nala," He said.
"I don’t?" I asked, genuinely stunned.
He smirked and leaned in again, kissing me softly, almost tenderly. I responded, unsure if I was doing it right, but letting instinct guide me. Carlos held me close, his nose brushing against mine as the kiss deepened.
I was completely lost in it when, without warning, he pulled away and leaned into my ear. Suddenly his voice was cold "If you ever run off like that again," He whispered, voice low and steady, "I’ll find your weakness and use it against you."
My heart dropped. He drew back and looked at me, his smirk returning. "And then I’ll hurt someone you care about, slowly. While you watch."
I froze. My breath caught and my stomach twisted. Was he serious?
There wasn’t even a flicker of humor in his eyes. That scared me more than anything.
He said nothing afterward and walked away, leaving me sitting there, stunned and confused.
If he really meant that, then there was no way I could ever tell him about my illness. I can’t risk him using it against me.