Chapter 102
“Hey, look at me.”
Pad faced RJ.
RJ wiped the tears from Pad’s face with his thumb. “I never want you to feel that I don’t love you, that you aren’t the most important thing in my life. I don’t want to be like my dad who rather than work out everything just walks out on everyone.” RJ’s voice broke. “I’ve never met anyone who’s loved me so much and will do anything for me. In the beginning of our relationship, it was a little scary. And that day when you had my bags packed and told me you were ending it, it was like you threw me into a black hole and the light was escaping from me.”
“I’m sorry. It just felt at that time that you didn’t truly love me. That even though I was there for you, I just wasn’t enough. That was the greatest hurt. That even though I loved you, in my mind, someone prettier, or better built, reflected in those images affected you and you wanted to spend more time with that world than me. And yes, Aunt Maddy going through chemo and radiation played a part in it.”
“No. It didn’t. I was just selfish. I just expected you to be always there for me.”
“But when you hardly have any sleep and you’re worried that the only person who was your parent could slip away, it just does things to your mind even though everyone told me she would be okay. I was just irrational.”
RJ moved closer and kissed Pad again. “Like I said. You are the most important thing in my life. I never want to be without you. And I’m sorry I hurt you in the past.”
Pad sighed. He put his head against RJ’s chest and searched for his heartbeat. RJ continued. “I never meant to hurt you two years ago.”
“I can’t wait for the wedding. Everyone who’s important to us, except for your mom and Ann, will be there.” Pad bit the top of his lip as he lifted his head from RJ’s chest. “You should call your mom. Tell her how much you love her and how much it would mean for her to be there.”
“I’ve tried. I get her voice mail. I can’t. She’s a very proud, stubborn person.”
“Try again.” Pad put his head on RJ’s shoulder.
“Are you sure she’ll even want to talk to me about our wedding?”
“She’s your mother. She’ll want to come. Just ask her nicely.”
“I will. And thanks for being a part of my life again, Pad.”
Pad smiled. He moved up to kiss RJ lightly on the lips. “Of course. Love wins, right?”8
Wedding Day
Pad woke up. He heard traffic below in the apartment complex then couldn’t go back to sleep.
Fucking nerves!
Pad Looked at his alarm clock and saw it was five-thirty. The clock also displayed the day and he couldn’t believe it!
Pinch me.
The day had arrived. July seven. He moved to the edge of the bed so as not to wake RJ, who snored lightly on his side of the king. He tiptoed to the kitchen and turned on the coffee pot. He did a visual inspection of the living room.
RJ’s check-in luggage. Pad’s check-in luggage. Pad’s carry-on. RJ’s carry-on. They were all there. He packed last night after rehearsal and made sure he had enough underwear and swimwear.
RJ’s only hint where they were going: light summer clothes, flip-flops and sandals, and a reminder to pack sun block. They would be gone for a week. RJ confirmed last night he had the passports in his carry-on. He was tempted to check if their names showed up on their airlines own app, but he forced himself to be surprised.
On the kitchen counter were the checklist items he had confirmed and double-checked. Jack was picking up the twins from Jen. Jen would have them dressed by nine. Jen would pick up the wedding cake Pad ordered from Publix. She would double check that she had all the necessary decorative plates and napkins needed for the cake. She reminded Pad that he had asked her twenty times about bringing her camera since she was their unpaid photographer.
They would be at the restaurant at one o’clock. Pastor Lisa confirmed that the service would run no longer than thirty minutes. Yesterday’s wedding rehearsal ran long because of everyone interrupting the process with jokes and gags and obvious miscues and the kids running around the church.
There was one item that was not on the list and he hoped Chaz would take care of that loose end. He checked his phone. No texts.
Pad and RJ’s tux lay out on the couch in their dry cleaning plastic. Their shoes, socks, and bow ties lay next to them. Jack promised he would drop them all off at the cleaners after the reception and throw their socks and dirty underwear in their laundry back in Pad and RJ’s apartment when he went to check up on the mail.