Back Home

Back Home
The decision to go back came on the fourth day after discovering the pregnancy. It wasn't an epiphany. Wasn't bravery. Just simple logic. I couldn't hide forever. Couldn't raise this baby alone. And Darian deserved to know he was going to be a father.
Deserved the chance to choose. To decide if he wanted to be present or not. To decide if this changed anything between us.
Though it probably wouldn't change anything. He'd probably still be tied to Celeste. Still be unable to choose me completely.
But at least he'd know. At least he'd have the information. At least he could make his own decisions about his child.
Our child.
The word still felt strange. Unreal. Like I was talking about someone else's life.
I went to find Kiera after breakfast. Found her in her office reviewing patrol maps. She looked up when I entered.
"Lyra," she said. "How are you feeling?"
"Better."
"Liar."
I almost smiled. She reminded me of Connor. Same directness. Same ability to see through bullshit.
"I need to return home," I said. "The mission isn't finished, but I need to go back."
She set down her pen. Studied me for a long moment. "Does this have anything to do with why you've been visiting our healer?"
My stomach dropped. "How did you—"
"I'm Alpha. I know everything that happens in my territory." She paused. "The healer didn't tell me specifics. Just that you'd been to see her. That you seemed distressed."
I didn't know what to say. Didn't know if I should confirm or deny or deflect.
Kiera stood. Walked around her desk. Stopped in front of me. "You're pregnant."
Not a question. A statement.
I met her eyes. "Yes."
"And the father?"
"Is back home. Doesn't know."
"Because you ran."
"Yes."
She nodded slowly. "I've been watching you since you arrived. Saw the pain. The way you avoid touching the bond. The way you look like someone who's lost everything."
"I haven't lost everything."
"Haven't you?"
I didn't answer. Couldn't.
"Go home," Kiera said. "Face whatever you're running from. That baby deserves both parents. And you deserve to stop running."
"The mission—"
"Is nearly complete. We can finalize the details through correspondence. Your Alpha will understand."
"You don't know that."
"I do. Because I'd do the same if one of my warriors was in your position."
She walked back to her desk. Pulled out a sealed document. Handed it to me.
"The terms we've agreed on. Take them to Connor. Tell him we'll send our representative in two weeks to sign formally."
I took the document. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me. Just don't waste this chance. Don't let fear make your decisions."
Too late for that. Fear had been making my decisions for weeks. Months maybe.
But she was right. I needed to go back. Needed to face this. Needed to stop running.
I left her office and went to pack. The two guards who'd accompanied me were waiting near the stables. They looked relieved when I told them we were leaving today.
We rode out an hour later. The northern pack gathered to see us off. Kiera stood at the front. Raised her hand in farewell.
I returned the gesture. Then turned my horse south. Toward home. Toward Darian. Toward everything I'd run from.
The journey would take four days. Maybe five if we took it slow. I needed to take it slow. The pregnancy made everything harder. Made me tire faster. Made me nauseous at odd hours.
The guards noticed. Didn't comment. Just adjusted our pace without being asked. Took longer breaks. Made sure I ate and drank enough.
Professional. Respectful. Good wolves.
We camped the first night in a clearing near a stream. I lay in my bedroll and stared at the stars. Put my hand on my stomach like I'd been doing constantly since finding out.
Still nothing. Too early. Too small.
But they were there. Growing. Real.
The bond pulsed. Darian on the other end. Still trying to reach me. Still blocked by the walls I'd built.
I should lower them. Should let him feel me getting closer. Should prepare him somehow.
But I didn't. Kept them up. Kept him out.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'd think about how to tell him. Tomorrow I'd figure out what to say.
Tonight I just lay here. Let myself be scared. Let myself acknowledge that going back didn't mean everything would be fixed.
Going back just meant facing the mess I'd made.
The second day was harder. The morning sickness hit worse than usual. I barely made it away from camp before vomiting. The guards pretended not to notice when I returned pale and shaking.
We rode slower. I needed to stop more frequently. Needed to rest. Needed to drink water constantly.
My body was changing. Adjusting to carrying life. To being more than just myself.
It was terrifying. Overwhelming. Real in a way nothing else had ever been.
By the third day, we were halfway home. One of the guards approached me during our midday rest.
"Are you alright?" he asked quietly. "You seem... unwell."
"I'm fine."
"You don't look fine."
I met his eyes. Young. Concerned. Genuine.
"I'm pregnant," I said. Might as well tell them. They'd figure it out soon enough anyway.
His eyes widened. "Oh. Does the Alpha know?"
"Connor? Yes, I'll tell him when we arrive."
"I meant your mate."
The word hit hard. Mate. Darian was my mate. The father of my child. The man I'd run from. He was not an alpha, he was a vampire, but he needed to know anyway.
"No," I said. "He doesn't know yet."
The guard nodded. Didn't push. "We'll take it as slow as you need."
"Thank you."
We continued south. The landscape grew more familiar. More like home. Trees I recognized. Paths I'd run before. Territory that smelled right.
My wolf stirred. More active than she'd been in weeks. She recognized home too. Wanted to be there. Wanted to see our mate. Wanted to protect our pup in familiar territory.
On the fourth day, we were close enough that I could feel the settlement. Could sense pack members in the distance. Could feel the pull of home stronger than ever.
And I could feel him. Through the bond. Closer now with less distance between us.
He felt... different. More desperate. More frantic. Like he'd been searching for something and couldn't find it.
The walls between us trembled. Harder to maintain with proximity. The bond wanted to reconnect. Wanted to restore what I'd broken.
I held firm. Kept them up. Just a little longer. Just until I got home. Just until I figured out what to say.
We reached the settlement gates at sunset. The guards called out. Announced our return.
Pack members gathered. Curious. Surprised we were back early.
I dismounted slowly. My legs were unsteady. My whole body ached from days of riding while pregnant.
Connor appeared through the crowd. Elizabeth beside him. Their expressions were carefully neutral but I saw the questions in their eyes.
"You're back early," Connor said.
"The mission is complete. Kiera sends the terms." I handed him the sealed document. "Her representative will come in two weeks to sign formally."
"Good." He studied my face. "Are you alright?"
"I need to rest. To clean up. Can we debrief tomorrow?"
"Of course."
I started to walk toward my house. Then stopped. Turned back.
"Is he here?" I asked quietly. "Darian. Is he in the settlement?"
Connor and Elizabeth exchanged glances.
"No," Elizabeth said. "He left three days ago."
My heart stopped. "Left? Where?"
"North. To find you. He couldn't take it anymore. The not knowing. The distance. He went after you."
Oh no. Oh no no no.
We'd missed each other. I was coming home while he was going to find me.
"When exactly did he leave?" I asked.
"Dawn. Three days ago."
I'd been two days from the northern territory. We must have taken different routes. Missed each other completely.
"Is Celeste still here?" The question came out before I could stop it.
Elizabeth's expression hardened. "Yes. She's still here."
Of course she was. Of course.
"I need to find him," I said. "Need to tell him—" I stopped. Too many people listening. Too many ears.
"Tell him what?" Connor asked.
I looked at him. At Elizabeth. At the gathered pack members.
This wasn't how I wanted to do this. Wasn't how I'd imagined telling people.
But there was no good way. No perfect moment.
"I'm pregnant," I said.
Silence. Complete. Total silence.
Connor's eyes widened. Elizabeth's hand went to her mouth.
The pack members stared. Shocked. Surprised. Some looked happy. Others concerned.
"How far?" Elizabeth asked quietly.
"Six weeks. Maybe seven."
"And Darian doesn't know."
"No. That's why I came back. To tell him. But now he's gone and we missed each other and—"
My voice broke. The exhaustion. The fear. The hormones. Everything crashed down at once.
Elizabeth moved forward. Pulled me into a hug. "It's okay. We'll figure this out. We'll send someone after him. Bring him back."
"What if he doesn't want to come back? What if he—"
"He'll come back. Trust me. He'll come back."
I wanted to believe her. Wanted to trust that.
But doubt crept in anyway. The same doubt that had been eating at me for weeks.
Connor was already moving. Calling out names. Organizing a group to go after Darian. To bring him home.
I stood there in Elizabeth's arms. Exhausted. Pregnant. Scared.
And somewhere out there, Darian was searching for me in the wrong direction.
Not knowing I was here. Not knowing about the baby. Not knowing everything had changed.