Chapter 59

Finally, at a little past ten o’clock, Ted decided to call. He had the motel in his contacts. Lord knows he’d made arrangements to stay there often enough. He waited for the automated voice to ask, “If you want to make a reservation: press one. If you wish to speak with a guest and you know the room number press two, then the room number.” Ted did that rather than wait for the rest of the recorded litany.

After several rings, a sleepy male voice answered, “Hello?”

“Erik?”

“No, just a minute. Erik, wake up. Some guy is on the phone.”

“What? Who?” Ted heard Erik’s confused response.

“The phone. Somebody wants to talk to you.”

“Shit! Who is it?”

“How the fuck should I know. I’m not your personal secretary.”

“Why did you answer it?”

“Because it was ringing. That’s what you do when a phone rings, you answer it.”

“I don’t want anyone to know you’re here.”

“So, what am I? Your dirty little secret? That’s what happens when you’re not out and proud. Too late now. You want to talk to him or not?”

“Gimme the phone.”

“Okay, here. I’m going to take a shower. Meet me there when you’re done.”

If Ted hadn’t been so concerned about Erik he would have found the exchange amusing. But right now Ted just wanted to talk to Erik and make sure he was okay.

“Hello?.” Erik sounded embarrassed.

“Hey! This is Ted. You okay?”

Erik didn’t reply immediately. “Yeah, I’m okay. How about you? I didn’t want you to find out this way. I wanted to tell you in person.”

Ted could hear the shower running. “Why didn’t you tell me last night?”

“I was going to, but I got cold feet. I was afraid you’d…”

“I’d what? Turn my back on you? Call you a fuckin’ faggot? Tell you to get out of my life? Been there, remember!” Ted said, thinking of his stepfather. “I’d never do that to you. You’re my best friend.”

“But you’re straight. I wasn’t sure you’d understand.”

Ted smiled. “I think we better talk. I have class at eleven. I’ll pick you up some time around twelve-thirty. Think you’ll be done with Greg by then?”

“I’m done with him right now! Wait. How did you know it was Greg?”

Ted chuckled. “I’ll pick you up at twelve-thirty. We’ll talk then.”

They said goodbye and hung up. Ted stood looking out the kitchen window, watching Dixie as she sniffed her way around in the yard.

“Well, Erik, my friend, have I got news for you.” 21

Ted found it even harder than usual to concentrate on Dr. Schmidt’s boring lecture. History was dull enough without having a prof that did nothing but read from his dry notes which, Ted was sure, were yellowed with age. Probably they were as old as the history they chronicled.

When class was finally over, Ted sprinted to his car. As he drove to the motel, he became aware of a growing excitement. He would be seeing Erik in a new light, as a gay man. Ted had always found Erik attractive. That was why even before he came out to himself as gay, he’d found their teenage explorations so exciting. Now the whole dynamic would be changed. Both he and Erik were adult gay men.

On the way to pick up Erik, he made a vow to himself—I will not lie about who I am and what I do. I did that with Kenny and that ended like shit.Ted was aware that this situation was different. Erik wasn’t his boyfriend; he was his boyhood best buddy. But the principle applied. You didn’t lie to people you cared about. He wanted Erik in, not out of his life.

When Ted pulled into the motel’s parking lot, Erik was already outside waiting for him. Ted stopped the car and Erik hopped in. Ted wondered if Greg was still in the room. However, he didn’t want to embarrass his friend further by asking.

“Hi,” Erik mumbled without looking Ted in the eye.

Ted turned to Erik and put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “No reason for you to feel bad about anything,” he said, hoping to reassure Erik of his acceptance.

Erik sighed. “I should’ve just manned-up and been straight with you about my being gay.”

Ted had to smile at the juxtaposition of the words in that statement.

“But for you to find out the way you did. You must really think I’m a slut. That I have no morals at all, picking up some stranger and sleeping with him. That’s not who I am, really.”

Ted thought of his own situation and the confession he would soon be making. That should even the playing field for Erik. Ted hoped his friend would be able to accept himonce the truth was told. Even though Ted worked as a rent boy and porn actor, deep down that wasn’t who he really was either.