Take A Break, Kit Kat
“Bloody hell, Kat. That’s fucking hilarious.” Finn is practically rolling on the floor as I describe Sascia and her antics. It’s gone midnight and Finn and I are chilling out at home, a box of chocolates open between us as we stuff ourselves full of sugary deliciousness. I’m completely shattered. The nerves of the day combined with a busy evening behind the bar means I should be in bed already, but I can’t resist regaling Finn with my ‘meet the parents’ story.
“But it went well,” I conclude. “They both gave me massive hugs and told me to come back soon, so that’s a relief. They were just so genuine and nice. I mean, you know what it was like with Garry’s parents…” We grimace in unison before I continue, “I know things are happening fast and my reputation kind of precedes me. If you had asked me six months ago whether I would have cared what some guy’s parents thought of me, I would have laughed in your face, but now it means something.
“Their home feels like… well, a proper home. With love and warmth. And embarrassing pictures on the walls and piles of books in the downstairs loo. A huge table in the kitchen that everyone eats around. It even has Jackson and James’ initials carved into it.” I let out a sigh, and when Finn looks at me with soft eyes, I know that he gets it.
Finn walked out of his parents’ home the day he turned eighteen. A physically and verbally abusive father and a mother whose main concern was her next fix meant that he pretty much brought himself up. The fact that he worked three jobs to put himself through university is admirable when you consider that he could have just given up on his dreams and followed his brothers into a life of petty theft and drug dealing on their estate in Lewisham.
I think that’s one of the reasons Finn and I clicked. We were both looking for family substitutes; in Finn, Soph and I found an anchor in the whirlwind of our grief, and in us Finn found the kind of peace that meant he could stop watching his back every second of the day. We are a family, even if it’s not the most conventional one.
“You look tired,” Finn comments as I lay my head back on the sofa cushion and close my eyes.
“Bloody knackered,” I sigh. “I think I’ve overdone it. I thought I was on the mend from this latest flare but my body is telling me I need to slow down. I’m gonna need to take a few days off I think.” I grimace, hating that I’m letting Finn and the team down, but I know from experience that if I don’t take a break now, things will end up worse. I’m not Superwoman, no matter how much I would like to be and this is my cue to rest.
“Of course,” Finn says, having been down this road before. “Why don’t you get away this week after your colonoscopy? Go lie by a beach somewhere and read a book or five. Take your mind off waiting for the results and God knows you could do with catching some sun…You practically glow in the dark as it is. Maybe take Jackson with you…” Finn trails off as I open my eyes, the smirk on his face getting wider as he starts suggesting a whole host of inappropriate activities that we could get up to.
“I thought I was supposed to be taking it easy?” I snigger. “Not being easy.”
“There’s nothing to say you can’t do both,” Finn chuckles. “But seriously, Kit Kat, take a break. You deserve it.” The snort that goes with his nickname for me and the association with the chocolate bar has me giggling, even though the joke is almost as old as me.
“Hmm, I’ll think about it. But for now, my bed is calling.” I push myself off the couch, then lean over to plant a gentle kiss on Finn’s cheek. “You are the best, you know.” I squeeze his shoulder before wandering out of the room.
“Yeah, and don’t you forget it,” Finn counters with a deep laugh that follows me down the corridor to my bedroom.