History

For the first time in longer than I care to remember I wake up with the feeling that everything might just be okay. Jackson is snoring softly beside me, so I take the time to admire his profile. There is an innocence in his sleeping face that I have never noticed before. His brow is smooth and the laughter lines that usually crinkle around his eyes are all but erased taking years off him. I trace a finger lightly along his strong jaw before planting a soft kiss on the end of his nose. His eyes flick open, and when he sees me, he gives me a lazy smile.

“Morning, Kat.” His voice is raspy as he stretches his arms out above his head, exposing his taut stomach and that delicious V that until now had been hiding under the covers.

“Morning,” I giggle, a little embarrassed at being caught fondling him.

Jackson leans forward and captures my mouth in a fierce kiss before pulling away. “I wasn’t sure if it was all a dream,” he says in a serious tone. “I didn’t want to open my eyes in case you weren’t here.”

“I’m here,” I respond softly as I try to reassure him with a smile. That he would be doubting me is a blow to my ego but it’s no surprise with our history.

The moment is interrupted by the buzz of my phone, and I am pretty sure I know who it is. With a sigh, I pick it up and see a message from Finn:

***I take it things are going well? Or do I need to come and kick some arse?***

I let out a chuckle, and when Jackson looks at me quizzically, I hand him my phone explaining everything with one word, “Finn.”

He reads the message, then snorts and looks at me with a strange expression on his face. “I have to ask…” He pales and I swear there’s a bead of sweat forming on his temple as his voice hitches. I raise my eyebrow and wait for him to continue. “You and Finn…well, has anything ever happened between you guys?” Jackson fidgets avoiding my eyes and my heart sinks. The last thing I want to do is torpedo our relationship, if that is even what it is yet, but I need to be honest.

“Only once,” I respond softly. Jackson’s eyes narrow into deadly slits, so I scramble to clarify. “Finn and I met on our first day at university. I literally ran into him, like almost knocked him over because I was in such a flap trying to find my lecture hall and I wasn’t watching where I was going. After I apologised about a thousand times we got chatting and he suggested grabbing a coffee after our lecture. It turned out that we had a load of classes together so we ended up exchanging numbers. I didn’t really know anyone else, and I was still trying to come to terms with my mum dying and the fact that I was suddenly responsible for my sister, so when we just clicked, it felt like all my dreams had come true to find someone who just got me. It was just easy…no drama. You know?” Jackson nods relaxing his shoulders with a small shake. Reassured, I take a breath before continuing.

“It was one night, a couple of weeks into term and I had just had a massive fight with Soph about something, I can’t even remember what, so I dragged Finn down the pub with me. We proceeded to get horrifically drunk and ended up making out. It seemed like a good idea at the time, so I went back to his and yeah, we had sex because we were absolutely toasted. The next morning when we woke up and looked at each other, we were both horrified. Neither of us actually felt that way about the other, and we agreed nothing would ever happen again. I love Finn to bits, don’t get me wrong, but he’s like a brother to me.”

“Funny, he said the same thing about you,” Jackson says, a smile slowly forming on his face.

“Finn and I have history. He was there for me when no one else was, and he will always be a part of my life. I hope that won’t be a problem for you?” I ask, suddenly feeling defensive. No guy is ever going to make me choose them over my best friend in the whole world. “The truth is Finn is my family, even if we aren’t blood. That’s not something I would ever be willing to give up.”

“I would never make you choose, Kat. I like Finn.” Jackson reaches out to tuck some hair that has fallen into my face behind my ear. “He seems like a cool dude, and I am grateful that you had someone like him at your side when you were ill. I just wanted to make sure we are all on the same page, okay?” Jackson says soothingly.

“Okay,” I reply, snuggling into his body not ready to leave his side just yet. Reality can sod off for a little while longer!