Chapter 14 CHAPTER: 014
One week later.
Everything still feels… strange, and Asher still feels out of place, maybe because of the rumors that he killed a professor and the glances he's been getting whenever he walks down the hall. He feels like an outcast.
Asher stands in the middle of the training room, his hands hanging stiffly by his sides, feeling quite exposed, despite being alone in the large room, a place he's been frequenting lately; it's just him and Ms. Rina, doing the same routine they've been doing for the past seven days.
“Relax your shoulders for a bit.” Ms. Rina’s voice is calm and soft, like always, as she once again breaks him from his trance for the second time in three hours since they've been here.
“I am relaxed,” he mutters, even though there's no point lying. She can see how tense he is.
She gives him a pointed look. “You have a lot of things bottled up. It's making it impossible for you to relax and actually enhance your fire without it exploding. I know you went through a lot of this, but if you ever want to make progress, you have to let go and relax. It's the only way."
Let go. Asher doesn't think he can, but he's willing to pretend as he forces his shoulders to relax, drawing in a deep breath. “I'm calm,”
It's stupid to say that when they've been doing the same thing over and over again for the past seven days. It does nothing. If Asher weren't having difficulty learning, he would be bored already, and if he weren't having difficulty learning, Ms. Rina would have taught him something else other than controlling his breathing and emotions. Asher is that messed up.
“Good. Now, we'll do something a little different today.” She speaks, and Asher nods slowly. With a twirl of her palm, torches of fire ignite on her fingers. “This is what we're doing. Even a little flicker is an improvement. Do you understand, Asher?”
Asher swallows the lump in his throat and nods, ready to learn something new. Asher mimics her action, trying hard to force his fire to his fingers without letting it explode, but the more he forces it, the more it stays dormant and unmoving. He sighs in frustration.
“You're thinking and forcing yourself too hard. Asher. Relax and shut your mind. Think of your fire as part of your breath. Think of it as something you can't do without.”
Asher tightens his jaw at her words. Something he can’t do without, like breathing. It sounds simple, but this isn’t. He nods anyway, even as frustration builds.
“Again,” Ms. Rina says softly, and Asher takes a slow breath in, then out.
He raises his hand, copying her again, but this time he doesn’t rush or force anything. He listens to his breathing and suddenly, there’s a faint warmth, and it's not in his fingers but in his chest. He frowns slightly.
“Don’t chase it. Let it come.” Rina’s voice echoes in his head.
Asher swallows and stays still, not pushing as he's told; he just breathes, and the warmth shifts again, moving from his chest to his shoulder, then down his arm. His fingers twitch.
“Don’t panic. You lose control when you doubt yourself.”
Asher clenches his teeth and moves his hands again, mimicking her actions, and suddenly, a tiny spark appears at the tip of his finger.
Asher’s eyes widen, excitement flashing in his eyes. “I—”
“Don’t speak.” Rina cuts him, and he slams his mouth shut quickly. She motions him to keep going, and Asher nods, concentrating harder, and he watches as another flicker appears and another, until small, weak flame torches materialize on his five fingers, and it doesn't burn; none of it consumes everything in its path; it only settles and glows beautifully on Asher's fingers.
Asher stares at it. “I did it…” he whispers.
Ms. Rina looks at him with a full smile. “Yeah, you did it.”
Asher breaks into a smile that's too big for his face as he clenches his palm slightly to put out the fire and then flickers his fingers to create a glowing torch of fire, repeating the action over and over again till it feels like it's breathing.
“I freaking did it!” Asher breaks into a laugh and, unable to contain his excitement, he reaches Ms. Rina in an instant and throws his arms around her in a tight hug while the woman pats his shoulder gently.
Realizing what he's done, Asher jolts away quickly and scratches the back of his head and clears his throat, hiding his flustered face. “I'm sorry. I-I-I didn't mean to.”
Ms. Rina giggles and places a supporting hand over Asher's shoulder. “It’s fine, Asher. You should be proud of yourself,” she says softly, and Asher lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.
Asher’s chest swells with pride, and his crimson eyes twinkle in a way they haven't before. “Thank you, Ms. Rina. Can we try something else?”
“Of course. We have a lot of time to learn whatever you want."
And that's what Asher does, learning whatever he wants because he can control his fire now…well, barely…but he's getting there.
~~
A whole month passed, and Asher had improved enough to finally be cleared to attend classes with the other fire elemental students.
Though there are a few slip-ups here and there, they are manageable. Rase is more than thrilled to have him back, sticking close to his side and insisting on sitting beside him in every single class. He's almost like glue; Asher can't get rid of him even if he tries. Makes him think Rase might indeed have a crush on him, like Ori and Kaeleen claim.
It would be foolish to ruin a friendship all for a crush because Asher feels nothing for him. All he sees is a friend.
When Asher isn’t in class, he spends most of his time working in the library. According to Ms. Rina, it’s good for him, something to keep his mind occupied. It will give him experience, she says. Something normal to hold onto.
Right now, Asher moves quietly between the tall shelves, a stack of books balanced carefully in his arms. One by one, he slides them back into their proper places, following the system he’s slowly memorized in the few weeks he started working here.
He shifts to the next shelf, already reaching to place another book, when he stops abruptly and his entire body stills, his breath catching in his throat as his eyes widen slightly, lips parting in shock at the scene in front of him.
There, between the shelves, is Xavi, pressed close against a girl, her back against the bookcase, his mouth locked with hers in a heated kiss like the rest of the world doesn’t exist.
Something awful twists inside of Asher, and his jaw clenches tightly while his eyes turn into a glare.
It’s been more than a month since he saw the blue-haired boy, and somehow, this isn’t what he expected.
Asher is aware of Xavi's reputation, but witnessing it himself leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. Asher’s grip tightens around the books in his hands, the edges digging slightly into his skin as he just stands there, frozen, watching for a second too long.
Something twists sharply in Asher’s chest, uncomfortable and sudden, and he doesn’t like it, doesn’t understand it, and doesn’t want to look at it too closely, so he does the only thing that comes to his mind: he slams a book hard on the shelves, and they break apart immediately. The girl looks at him with hate, while Xavi wears a smirk as he openly sweeps his gaze over Asher’s body.
He's the only ice elemental who doesn't seem to care that he might accidentally touch a fire elemental and kill himself and them.
Asher ignores the unwanted heat in his body from Xavi's intense gaze and glares at their faces. “This is a library. I'll advise you to take that elsewhere.”
With that, he turns to leave, moving to another bookshelf, but Xavi suddenly appears from the other side. Asher pauses, not moving any closer.
“I can kiss you too if you want,” he smirks.
“Shameless,” Asher murmurs under his breath and turns to leave.
“Wait,” Xavi calls out without moving an inch forward. “How are you?”
It's a simple question, but it causes warmth to seep through his body. It's been more than a month; normally, Xavi wants to ask how he's doing. Besides, he taught Asher a technique he's been using to control his fire better, but that doesn't make them friends.
They can't be friends. Fire and Ice do not mix. Everything about their interaction is forbidden.
Asher swallows, and then he forces himself to reply. “I've been better."
A twitch of a smile comes on Xavi's face. “Good,” he says, and Asher hums in response, and then he walks away without looking back.
Xavi watches him go with a tilt of his head and his hands shoved in his pockets, a look close to fondness swimming in his eyes.
“You like him, don't you?” Sage suddenly appears beside him, resting his chin on Xavi's shoulder from behind.
Xavi smirks. “What's there not to like? He's the prettiest little fire elemental.”
A shame he can't have him.