Chapter Three

She was barely home when her phone started to beep. She looked at the screen and was immediately unsettled because it was a number she didn’t recognize. Her nerves prickled along the back of her neck and her hands trembled slightly as she opened the message.

-You’re gonna get fired if you come to college on Thursday. We don’t want you there. Stay away and I might let you keep your job.

Her breath caught in her throat. Amelia was blackmailing her—her job versus a mandatory fail of the course if she didn’t attend the hands-on session. The messages kept coming. Tabitha didn’t open them. Nausea roiled in her stomach. She gasped for breath, but her throat clenched against the sobs trying to escape, cutting off the air. Eventually maddened by the noise, she turned the phone off. She claimed she had a headache and went to bed.

Sleep remained elusive as she tossed and turned. Her head throbbed, her throat ached and her eyes burned with tears and tiredness. About two in the morning, she crept into her parents’ bedroom and woke her mother.

“Mom, have you got something to help me sleep?”

“I don’t think you should be taking sleeping pills, Tabitha. Besides, they’re prescribed for me.”

“Mom, please. I can’t sleep and I have this big session at college tomorrow. Please, just this once.”

Her mother sighed. “All right, just this once. On the top shelf in the bathroom. Just take one tablet. I’ll wake you on time in the morning.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Her mother turned over and cuddled back down as Tabitha crept away.

She took one pill as advised and soon she was feeling drowsy.

* * * *

She was a bit muzzy-headed when her mother woke her, but a shower and breakfast fixed that. Unfortunately there was nothing she could do with the barbed wire twisting around her insides and the clamp tightening its hold on her chest all the way to the campus.

As Tabitha crossed the car park, Amelia sidled up behind her.

“So you turned up, Tubby. Didn’t take my advice and stay home. These people really don’t want you playing with their animals, dragging that terrible fishy smell around with you. Besides, I don’t think there will be room for you in the van—too big a butt,” she whispered in Tabitha’s ear.

Tabitha felt the words as if they were physical blows. She cringed and dropped her gaze to the ground in an effort to hide the burning redness that flushed her cheeks.

“Shut up, Eckerton,” Alex snapped. He shouldered his way past Amelia and held out his hand to Tabitha. “Plenty of room up the back with me,” he said, leading the way into the minivan.

“I’m shocked, Alex. How you could possibly do it with the likes of her, and I hear she’s got you in a bit of a pickle. How ya gonna sort that one?”

“What pickle’s this, mate?” Leo asked, flicking his eyebrows up and down.

“Really, Eckerton, stick a sock in it, will ya? And you can shut your gob and clean your mind out of the gutter, Leo,” Alex muttered. He glanced at Tabitha and grinned, but his face flushed a soft pink.

“I’m sorry, Alex,” Tabitha murmured.

He shrugged. “No matter, Tabitha. As I said the other day, we’re good, right?”

She nodded and squeezed his hand. “Yes, Alex, we’re good.”

For now.

The subject was dropped and the conversation turned to the day’s activities and Tabitha was grateful for that.

The sanctuary took in and cared for all types of animals. The only ones that worried Tabitha were the snakes. As they got off the bus, Amelia skulked around just behind them, snickering to herself and whispering to Petra and Dawn, who had apparently passed the repeat assessment.

Tabitha was on edge and jumpy as Kayne split them up into groups for the practical exercises, and despite their protests he split Amelia and the other two up. He also made sure none of them were in Tabitha’s group.

A shelter volunteer was allocated to each group and Tabitha’s group began with the dogs and cats. Each student was assigned an animal and had to provide a general health check using a form that needed to be completed. The exercises were easier than Tabitha had expected, as her practical experience at the clinic came to the fore. She had even helped Alex and Leo a couple of times, but she couldn’t relax completely because every time Amelia came into earshot, she tittered and whispered.

After lunch it was their turn to do the horses and cows, beginning with mucking out the stables and washing out and disinfecting the milking shed. Amelia and her group came and stood on the other side of the fence, having been allocated to the milking shed.

“Ah, this is where I feel at home,” Alex announced loudly, stretching his arms up over his head.

“Well, I don’t, you guys, so some help would be good,” moaned Leo. “I don’t like anything bigger than a large dog, prefer even smaller than that.”

“Wuss,” yelled Amelia from the yard she was now cleaning of manure. “At least the smell of horseshit will mask the fishy smell.”

“What fishy smell?” Leo asked, then blushed and glanced at Tabitha.

“Blockhead, Leo,” Alex grumbled.

“Sorry.”

Tabitha shook her head. “Don’t sweat it, Leo.”

As she began to scoop up the manure in the yards, the sound of water gushing caught her attention. She looked up. The blast of cold water caught her in the face, and even as she gasped and spluttered under the drenching, another wave of fluid flew toward her—this time brown and filled with chunks of manure, dirt and straw. It splattered her from head to toe and caught Leo in the back.

Tabitha closed her mouth, covered her face and lowered her head as she scrambled out of the way of the water.

“Hey, you, bloody watch what you’re doing, Eckerton,” Alex yelled, already leaping the dividing fence.

Amelia turned the water on him, but he kept charging toward her. Moments later he was grappling with her for control of the hose. She screamed and let go of the hose, backing into the corner of the cowshed, pretending to cry.

“I couldn’t hold it. I couldn’t hold it still. Raymond turned it on full bore,” she shouted.

“Liar,” Alex accused, still holding the gushing hose.

“Yeah, bitch, you just ruined my new jeans,” Leo yelled, stalking toward her.

Alex handed the hose to his mate and came toward Tabitha where she was standing by the fence just outside the stall.

“Tabitha, hang in there, the volunteer has gone to get some towels,” he said and stepped toward her.

She leaned back. “Don’t, Alex, I’m all covered in shit.”

“I don’t care about that. You need a hug more than I need a clean shirt.”

She burst into tears and didn’t resist when he wrapped his arms around her.

“What the hell is going on here?” Kayne bellowed from by the gate.

“Eckerton drenched Tabitha and me in horseshit. God damn it, that bitch did it on purpose.”

Kayne looked at Amelia. She was cringing in the corner, crying.

“I wouldn’t think anyone would do it on purpose, Leo,” Kayne said.

“I couldn’t hold it, Kayne, Raymond turned it on too fast. I didn’t mean to wet anyone.”

“Liar,” Alex yelled, still holding Tabitha in his arms, his lovely yellow tee soaking up the muddy brown liquid manure from her clothes. The volunteer turned up and gave Tabitha, Alex and Leo a couple of towels.

“Alex, I think that’s enough,” Kayne snapped, his voice icy-cold.

“No, not enough, Kayne, I saw her—she did it on purpose. She wanted to get Tabitha. She’s been bullying Tabitha all year and you’ve just ignored it. Too hard to deal with, is it? You’re bloody useless in my view.”

“Enough, Alex, or I will have you expelled.”

“Well, what about expelling her, she’s the troublemaker,” Leo growled.

“And that is enough from you too, Leo,” Kayne snarled. “Amelia, go out and sit in the garden by the bus and stay there until I come.”

Amelia started to howl in earnest.

“Dawn, go with her,” Kayne ordered.

The two girls left the stables. Leo threw down the now dried-up hose and stood glaring at their lecturer, a towel wrapped around his shoulders and another around his waist to soak up the water from his clothes. Alex helped Tabitha dry off as much as he could.

The older volunteer who had accompanied them most of the day beckoned to Tabitha. “Lovey, come with me. You can use the staff shower, and I have a spare pair of shorts in my locker and you can have, as a gift, one of our tees. At least you’ll be clean.”

Tabitha fought back the hiccuping sobs and tried to smile. The volunteer frowned before she glanced over at the lecturer. “I’ll see he hears the truth, and I’m going to put a report into the college about that horrendous girl. I overheard her belittling you well before she wet you.”

“I know it won’t make you feel any better, Tabitha, but I think she has gone too far this time,” Alex muttered.

Tabitha nodded and followed the volunteer.

She peeled off her filthy clothes and scrubbed her skin clean with a new cake of soap. She swayed under the streaming water, then suddenly her knees sagged and she slid slowly down the corner of the shower until she hunched on the floor with the hot water rushing over her head. Gigantic sobs clenched at her chest as she struggled to breathe before they choked their way out of her throat. She hugged herself, whimpering and shaking. Her embarrassment and humiliation were complete. This episode would be all over college by next week, maybe all over the town. Her wet tee had been see-through, showing her bra and all her rolls, and her shorts had clung to her bottom half, leaving little to the imagination.

But what had devastated her even more was Kayne’s apparent determination to quietly push it all under the carpet. She’d seen it before—because like most people he had no idea how to deal with a bully. Despite policies and strategies, no one really knew how to stop the actions that made Tabitha’s life such a misery and perhaps many didn’t even see it as serious, because everyone in their day was bullied to some extent.

A light knock on the door startled her.

“Are you all right in there, Tabitha?” the volunteer asked.

“Yes, I’m okay. I’ll be out soon.”

She pushed herself upright using the taps for support, then cautiously got out of the shower and dressed in a stranger’s clothes. She immediately felt self-conscious, aware she had no underwear on, but she was grateful the volunteer had brought her a biggish tee so it hid most of her shape.

Alex and Leo were waiting as she came out of the staff area. Alex had, like Leo, obtained a new shirt, so they both looked relatively clean.

“Okay, Kitty Kat?” Alex asked as he put his arm around her shoulders.

She nodded. “I’ll live,” she said.

“Damn bitch,” Leo muttered.

“Come on, they’re waiting for us. Apparently the excursion is over for today. Kayne is seething,” Alex said.

“He might be, but does he believe us or Amelia?” Tabitha asked.

“To be honest, Tabitha, I think our lecturer is so out of his depth he’s in danger of drowning,” Alex sniped.

As they walked toward the group, Tabitha cringed. They were all looking at her, but nobody said a word.

“Okay, everyone on the bus,” Kayne ordered. “You all right, Tabitha?”

“Not really, but then one usually isn’t when one is assaulted,” she said quietly.

Kayne frowned. “I think perhaps that’s a bit strong, Tabitha. Amelia claims it was an accident.”

Tabitha shook her head, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks again. “Whatever,” she said.

Alex glared at Kayne as he helped Tabitha climb into the bus. “You need to open your eyes, mate.”

Kayne glared back, his face flushing red. “Enough, Alex.”

Alex gave him one hard glare and climbed into the bus.

“Leave it, Alex,” Tabitha whispered.

“I’m not finished with him yet, and I will not tolerate some little upstart barely two years older than me telling me to shut up when he is so painfully in the wrong.”

Tabitha clutched his hand. The emotional storm of this afternoon had sapped her of almost every ounce of energy and she still had to go to work. She didn’t dare tell Mrs. Waldrop she wasn’t coming at this late stage.

“You sure you’re up to working tonight?” Alex asked.

Tabitha nodded. “I have a spare shirt at work and I’ll have time to get some…” She looked down, her face flushing hot. “Some personal items,” she eventually muttered.

Alex chuckled at her embarrassment and gave her hand a squeeze.

“Tell you what, I’ll come pick you up tonight at nine, okay?” he said close to her ear.

“Thanks, Alex.”

* * * *

As they’d earlier agreed, Kayne dropped Tabitha at the shopping center so she could be at work on time.

“I’ll get out here too,” Amelia announced as Kayne pulled up.

“No, you won’t, Amelia. I’m obligated to return you to the college. Tabitha had a special request granted.”

“Well, really. I should be allowed to do what I want.” Amelia glared at Tabitha. “I am an adult after all.”

“Not today, Amelia,” Kayne retorted as he put the van in gear with a slight nod goodbye to Tabitha.

Tabitha couldn’t resist smiling at Amelia as she pulled the door closed. Alex waved and gave the thumbs up sign to her.

Amelia glared back at her and mouthed through the glass, “You’ll be sorry, Tubby.”

It was quiet in the shop and Tabitha was pleased. The menial job of dusting gave her time to think over the day’s debacle, and the more she did, the angrier she got. By closing she had made her decision.

“I’m going to put in an official complaint, damn it. She can’t keep getting away with it,” she announced as she slid into the front seat of Alex’s car.

He leaned toward her and planted a hard kiss full on her mouth. “That’s my Kitty Kat. I’m writing one too,” he said.

They adjourned to the dining room when they got home and together they worked on drafts of the two reports. With Alex’s help Tabitha documented every incident, beginning with the push down the stairs on the first day. Alex’s report focused on the most recent incident, but made mention of the day Jaclyn was hassled.

Tabitha trembled with misgivings as they each emailed their reports to the principal of the college.

“Do you think I’ve done the right thing, Alex? What if they ignore it, or, worse, what if they reprimand Amelia and she ramps up the bullying? I don’t fancy getting bashed.”

He hugged her. “You have done the right thing, Kitty Kat. Spoken up. If Amelia gets worse, we’ll deal with it, okay?”

She nodded.

He squeezed her tightly. “Now I have to go or I’ll never get up in time for work. Promise me you won’t fret about it?”

She nodded again. But she did fret as soon as Alex left. Her stomach roiled. She paced her room several times before rereading her report. Fear of the consequences prickled along her skin and sweat dampened her palms. It was too late now she had already sent it. She had to take a stand, for once in her miserable life. And she wasn’t alone. She had Alex.

* * * *

Monday morning as she fed the kittens, her phone rang. It was an unknown number. Tabitha chose not to answer it. The phone rang two more times from the same number. Feeling pressured, Tabitha finally gave in and answered it.

“Tabitha, Ms. Forbes here. I have your complaint. As the college principal, I consider it a serious matter. Can you attend a meeting at one p.m. in my office?”

Tabitha nodded. “Yes, Ms. Forbes, I’ll be there.”

“Good. I intend to get to the bottom of this, you understand.”

“Thank you, Ms. Forbes.”

“Don’t thank me yet, Tabitha, I did not say it would be in your favor.”

“I see. Goodbye.” Tabitha laid her phone down and picked up one of the mewling kittens. She cuddled it close to her and buried her face in the soft fur. I should never have put that report in. Maybe they’ll kick me out of college. Ms. Forbes was not pleased.

She put the kitten back in the box and dialed Alex’s number.

“Alex, Ms. Forbes rang…”

“I know. She rang me too. I’ll be there, Tabitha. You can do this,” Alex assured her.

“I’m not so sure. Maybe I should have just kept quiet…”

“No. It’s time to bring it out in the open.”

“Maybe,” she muttered.

“Gotta go, Kitty Kat. See you soon.”

After Alex rang off, she sat for a long time in the quiet of the back room, but eventually pulled herself together and went home to change into something respectable for a meeting with the college principal.

* * * *

A savage burn twisted in her gut as she sat in the stiff-backed chairs outside the principal’s office. She kept checking her phone as time slid past, and sighed with relief when Alex strode around the corner. Her breath caught in her throat. He was dressed in good pants and a white shirt with a black jacket over the top. He even had a tie on. He was so handsome and looked so much older than he normally looked. Well, that would show Ms. Forbes she wasn’t dealing with some kid just out of school.

Alex slipped into the seat beside her and clasped her hand. “Okay, Kitty Kat?”

She shook her head. “Not really.”

The door opened and Ms. Forbes appeared. “I’ll see you now, Tabitha. Alex, you can wait out here.”

“We’d like to come in together, Ms. Forbes,” Alex said, already standing and tugging Tabitha up with him.

“No, Alex, I will interview you separately.”

He looked down at Tabitha. “Will you be okay?”

She nodded despite feeling cold right through with dread and the terrible feeling this was not going to go well.

She followed the principal into the office and took the seat indicated. In an effort to hide her trembling, she clenched her hands in her lap and waited for Ms. Forbes to speak.

“I have read your report, Tabitha. It levels some harsh criticisms at Amelia Eckerton, the college and your lecturer. I am not pleased to have a bullying situation in my college and I am sorry you feel you’ve not been provided with a safe environment in which to study.”

Tabitha nodded. “It is only the truth, Ms. Forbes.”

“I will be speaking to all parties concerned and making some recommendations. This may include mediation.”

Her stomach hit rock bottom like a lump of lead. Mediation, with Amelia. That was a laugh, or would be if the thought wasn’t so terrifying. Been there, done that.

“Ms. Forbes, I don’t think mediation will work with Amelia.”

“That will not be your decision. Now let’s go through your report one point at a time to make sure I have the facts correct.”

By the time the principal had finished, Tabitha felt crushed. Not only was the woman determined to put the previous day’s incident down to an accident, she was clearly laying the responsibility for dealing with the bullying on Tabitha—she was an adult, after all. Her opinion appeared to be that perhaps Tabitha was just too sensitive and should toughen up. Fighting back tears, she was dismissed. Alex looked up as she entered the corridor. She shook her head. He frowned, but didn’t have time to comfort her as Mrs. Forbes summoned him at that moment.

Tabitha slumped into her chair. This was a mistake. I should have just put up with it.

Alex was gone for more than half an hour and he emerged from the office with a frown marring his handsome face.

“Come on, Tabitha, let’s go home,” he said, taking her hand and almost towing her behind him as he strode down the corridor. “Aren’t going to get any satisfaction here.”

* * * *

Monday morning right at nine, Tabitha’s phone rang. It was Ms. Forbes.

“Tabitha you’re required to attend a mediation meeting in my office this morning at eleven. You can bring a support person with you. Amelia Eckerton will be attending.”

A wave of nausea washed over her. Her worst nightmare had come to fruition.

“Tabitha, did you hear me?” Ms. Forbes’ voice was sharp and demanding.

“Yes, Ms. Forbes, I heard you. What if I don’t have anyone? To support me, that is?”

“In that case you will have to come alone. I’ll expect you at eleven.”

Tabitha placed the phone on the table with exaggerated care. The blood in her head pounded in her ears, pulverizing her thoughts into an indefinable mass. The trembling started deep inside and spread until it rattled right though her. With her parents at work and Alex away again, she had no one to call on. She would have to face this alone. Jaclyn. Would Jaclyn come with me? Her hand hovered over the phone. Was it fair to draw her new friend into this situation? Well, what were friends for? Tabitha picked up the phone and punched in the number.

“Hi.”

“Hi, it’s Tabitha. How’s things?”

“Just finished my assignment.”

“Are you happy with it? I know you hate spreadsheets.”

Jaclyn giggled. “Yeah, I do, but it has all come out balanced.”

“Jaclyn, I have a favor to ask. Would you accompany me to a meeting with Ms. Forbes? Alex and I put a complaint in and now I have to have mediation. No one else is available and I don’t want to go alone.”

The silence dragged out. Tabitha waited, hope dwindling.

“Jaclyn, please say yes. You won’t have to say anything, just hold my hand.”

She heard Jaclyn clear her throat. She waited.

When her friend finally started to speak, her voice wavered. “Tabitha, I’m sorry, but I can’t. I don’t want to get involved. If I do, then Amelia might take it out on me. I’m not strong like you—I couldn’t cope with it…I’m really sorry.”

Tabitha stood still as a statue, holding the phone to her ear. She wanted to scream at her friend, plead, beg or order her to be there, but at the same time, she understood. She didn’t blame Jaclyn. She was afraid too. “That’s all right, Jaclyn. I just thought I would ask. I don’t want to go alone.”

“Isn’t there anyone else?”

“No.”

“I’m sorry, Tabitha. Let me know how you get on.”

“Yeah, I will,” Tabitha said and disconnected, knowing she wouldn’t bother. Whatever the outcome, this was her battle and she couldn’t expect anyone else to fight it for her.

* * * *

Determined not to find herself sitting in the cold corridor right beside her bully, Tabitha deliberately arrived a few minutes late—just in time to see Amelia disappearing into the office.

Moments later she was ushered in and seated at a table opposite Amelia and a man not much older than Amelia with a dark expression shadowing his face. He glared at Tabitha. She cringed down into her seat, daunted by his intimidating presence. Ms. Forbes took a seat along with another man—a smiling one this time. It was overwhelming to be the one and only—the victim.

“Thank you for coming. I’ve brought Mr. Milburne in, he’s the college counselor. I thought he might help us to expedite this issue into a resolution,” said Ms. Forbes.

“Look, I don’t know what all the fuss is about. Amelia assures me the incident was an accident. I have better things to do,” Amelia’s companion said.

Ms. Forbes moved her hands in a placating gesture. “Mr. Eckerton, your sister has been accused of bullying, not just the one incident, and it needs to be addressed.”

Mr. Milburne then began his obviously prepared spiel on bullying. Tabitha watched his mouth move as he spoke and wondered if he actually believed what he was saying or if he already knew he was wasting precious breath. Ms. Forbes sat there looking justified while Amelia twirled a strand of hair around and around one finger, her eyes glazing over.

When Mr. Milburne finally fell silent, Ms. Forbes read a few points from Tabitha’s report. When she’d finished she laid it down on the table. “There are witnesses to some of these incidents, but I would prefer not to involve other students.”

Amelia’s brother turned in his seat and leaned into Amelia. “Well, Amelia, what’ve you got to say for yourself? Did you bully her?” he said, pointing at Tabitha.

Amelia shook her head. “Can’t call it bullying. I just sling off at her occasionally—she’s such a klutz.”

Bitch, bitch, bitch. Damn lying bitch.

“Really, Amelia, you know it’s cruel and unfair to put other people down.” Ms. Forbes sounded scandalized.

Amelia shrugged. “Well, she’s such a crybaby and it’s fun getting a reaction. I don’t mean any harm.”

Tabitha sat paralyzed in her chair. Her breath huffed out of her lungs as if she had been physically punched. Humiliation roared through her, followed quickly by rage. She doesn’t mean any harm? Bullshit.

Ms. Forbes looked at Tabitha. “Would you like to say something, Tabitha?”

Tabitha looked straight at Amelia. The girl opposite her smirked and raised her eyebrows. The carefully rehearsed words Tabitha had planned to say became jumbled in her head. Her stomach clenched and burned.

“Why do you do it, Amelia?” she finally blurted out.

Amelia shrugged.

“It upsets me. Hurts me. Please leave me alone.”

Amelia looked down toward her lap.

“Amelia, you’d better say you’re sorry and keep your mouth shut in future,” growled her brother.

“Yes, Lloyd,” Amelia mumbled.

“In view of your admission, Amelia, to verbally harassing Tabitha, I am going to make this an official warning. You need to treat other people with respect. I want no more of this behavior in my college. Is that clear?”

Amelia nodded.

“Good. I think an apology is in order, then that should be the end of it,” Ms. Forbes said.

An apology. That’s all. What a God damn waste of time this has been. Tabitha looked from Ms. Forbes to Mr. Milburne. They looked damn smug. They thought they had fixed the problem. She hated them. Nausea bubbled up, driven by rage, impotency and hopelessness. Why couldn’t they see a session of mediation was not going to cure the problem?

“Get on with it, Amelia. I don’t have all day to waste on your little fiascos,” Lloyd snapped.

Amelia looked up at her brother. “Yes, Lloyd,” she muttered then turned to Tabitha. “Sorry about hassling you and especially Thursday.”

Tabitha stared at the girl in front of her, knowing not one word was sincere.

“Tabitha, are you going to accept?” Ms. Forbes prompted.

Tabitha nodded as she struggled to get the words out of her strangled throat when what she really wanted to do was scream at them, make them see they had achieved nothing. Nothing had changed. With her hands clenched in her lap, Tabitha looked straight at Amelia. “Apology accepted,” she said. Every word burned her tongue with indelible mortification as Tabitha completed the circle of lies.

Amelia smirked and Tabitha saw the glint of evil in her eyes and shuddered. Nothing had changed. She stared down at the floor, waiting for the others to leave. They paused at the door.

“Really, Ms. Forbes, I think you should leave these two children to sort their own squabbles out and accept not everyone is going to be friends. Like many others, I have more important things to do than be called down here to sort a petty catfight out.” Lloyd’s comments were scathing.

Tabitha cowered in the chair. No wonder Amelia had no compassion.

“Mr. Eckerton, I don’t appreciate your blasé attitude. It offends me as a human being and an educator.”

“You believe and do what you have to, Ms. Forbes. Good day. Move it, Amelia, I have to go back to work after I drop you home.”

Tabitha looked up as the door clicked closed.

“Would you like a cup of tea, Tabitha?”

Tabitha nodded. She was still shaking.

As Ms. Forbes placed the cup of steaming liquid on the table and sank into her own chair, she sighed. “Why do I feel so strongly that today I have failed?” she murmured.

Tabitha sipped her tea and stayed silent.

* * * *

An hour later Tabitha arrived at the vet clinic. She was struggling to put one foot in front of the other as a terrible fatigue gripped her body and bitterness roiled in her head at the outcome of the mediation session. Callie was on the phone so she just waved as Tabitha walked through. Tabitha was relieved because she didn’t want to make conversation.

She sat for a long time with the kittens, hugging them, stroking them and wetting their fur with her tears. When she finally got home, her mother just frowned when she refused dinner and shut herself away in her room.

With Alex again away at a race meeting, she had agreed to work at Mrs. Waldrop’s both Saturday and Sunday. Now she wished she hadn’t as she had no desire to play the pleasant shop assistant. But in the end Saturday passed agreeably enough and Mrs. Waldrop made no reference to the telephone incident or terminating her employment.

Her mother was watching television in the lounge when Tabitha arrived home.

She looked up. “Jaclyn’s going to ring in a minute. She’s been trying all day to get in touch. She says you wouldn’t answer your phone or respond to her on Facebook.” Her mother’s tone made her words sound almost like an accusation.

“Mom, I have my phone off at work, and you know I deactivated my Facebook profile ages ago, because of Amelia.” Tabitha almost yelled at her mother in frustration. How many times did she have to say these things?

Tabitha had barely turned away from the door when the phone jangled. It sounded shrill in the uneasy silence that hovered through the house. Tabitha picked it up, feeling distinctly like she was handling a cobra with bare hands. The familiar ball of acid filled her stomach and set up a responding ache in her chest.

“Hey, Jaclyn…”

“Don’t ‘hey’ me, Tabitha Cockell. Why haven’t you responded to my texts? Did you create a new Facebook profile?”

“No, I didn’t. I haven’t been on Facebook for ages. You know I deactivated my account and why.”

“Well, you have a new profile and you accepted my friend request. Then I see it has pics of you, taken Thursday at the animal shelter, and a whole lot of shit about me.” Jaclyn started to sob. “It’s so humiliating. Tell me, Tabitha. Tell me you didn’t put it up there.”

“I didn’t put anything on Facebook, Jaclyn. If I have another profile, then it’s because someone else created it, Amelia Eckerton being the strongest suspect.”

“Why would she do that?”

“To hurt me, to hurt our friendship.”

“Look, Tabitha, it needs to come down, okay?”

“Fine, Jaclyn. I’ll have a look before I go to bed and see what I can do.”

“Do something about it. Get Amelia to remove it all. Tabitha, consider our friendship ended,” Jaclyn said.

The dial tone rattled in her ear. She sat there with the phone in her hand, paralyzed by the insidious power of Amelia punching through her. There was no way Amelia would take it down.

“Tabitha?”

She shook her head as she quietly put the phone down. “Nothing, Mom.”

Her mother popped her head around the door. “You’re sure?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Oh, by the way, love, your dad and I will be flying out to Melbourne on Tuesday. Just for the day. My friend Mary passed away and we’re going to the funeral.”

“Sorry to hear Mary died, Mom. Please pass on my condolences to her children for me.”

Her mother nodded.

“Well, I better go organize this stuff for Jaclyn, and get some study done. Don’t worry about dinner for me, I had a burger after I left work.”

Up in her room, she opened up Facebook on the laptop, reactivated her account and began to search. Moments later a second profile for Tabitha Cockell popped up—a very real-looking, bogus profile. It even had a profile photo of her—one taken at the animal shelter while she was cringing under the blast of shitty water. She felt sick, then alternately hot with rage and cold with dread, for that wasn’t the worst of it.

There were the usual cruel comments from Amelia. Of course Amelia would have known she would look for the page when Jaclyn called her out on the content. There were cruel comments about Jaclyn—attributed to Tabitha—and Jaclyn was tagged in photos—compromising photos—that had obviously been Photoshopped. Tabitha didn’t want to read them, but couldn’t stop herself. The content made her feel sicker and sicker as she scrolled down the page. She’d also been tagged in photos—crudely Photoshopped photos of her head on a nude, fat body. Tears poured down her cheeks. She couldn’t un tag them when she tried.

Her throat tightened until she could hardly breathe, while her stomach boiled and she fought the urge to vomit. Amelia had posted on the bogus profile as herself and the words cut Tabitha to the bone.

You’re a waste of space in the world, Tubby Tabby. Why don’t you just kill yourself? Make some room on the planet for real people.

You’re so useless, dumb and ugly. Kill yourself, and take that bloody fish smell with you.

Dark clouds of desolation rolled in to swamp her in a cloying black mood of humiliation, hopelessness and wretchedness. She couldn’t do this anymore. How could she go out in public knowing so many people would have seen the images on that page? Why? Why? Why did Amelia hate her so much? She wasn’t a bad person—just fat and stupid. Well, she supposed at least in Amelia’s mind that made her less than human. Tabitha pushed away from the computer, flopped on her bed and curled up into the tightest and smallest ball she could make—a vain effort to be the smallest blight on the world she could be. She stared into space, not seeing her room, the beautiful, clear night with the full moon lighting the sky, or the curtains fluttering in the breeze.

Looming black clouds of pure misery blinded her to everything but her own distress, magnifying her own inadequacies. A stinging flow of self-loathing flooded through her. Not for the first time, she began to think she would be better off dead. At least Amelia would be happy. Her parents might be sad for a while, but then, she was a burden to them as well—expecting monetary support, emotional support and mental support when she couldn’t cope. They might miss her, but no one else would. Even Alex would move on quickly, then he could find himself a less troubled girlfriend.

She hugged herself tight while she let the voices argue around and around in her head as she sank deeper and deeper into the pit. Tears poured down her cheeks and soaked into her pillow. This is what I get for taking a stand. It was early hours of the morning before she finally slept.

* * * *

She woke with a start at eight and realized her phone was beeping. There was a message from Jaclyn. Tabitha opened it with trepidation.

More stuff has gone up. Horrible, horrible stuff. My cousins saw it and told the parents. Now I’m banned from Facebook. I can’t deal with this crap. Consider our friendship over. Don’t bother with lunch tomorrow.

Tabitha sighed, sinking deeper under the billowing clouds of despair that crouched over her. She flopped back on the bed, the finality of Jaclyn’s edict cutting deep into her soul, draining the last tendrils of resistance from her. With the covers over her head, Tabitha lay in the smothering darkness, wishing she never had to leave, but she was committed to work. Fatigue weighted her body into an unbearable burden. With a slow, uncoordinated flailing of her legs, she shoved the quilt down to the end of the bed. She then lay there, uncovered, for several minutes before kicking her legs and pushing with her arms just enough to lever herself upright on the edge of her bed.

Despite her state, she arrived at the mall early so headed down to the café just past the shop for a coffee. As she walked back toward Mrs. Waldrop’s via the back alleyway, she went to compose a text to Alex and realized she’d left her phone at home. Damn, she felt so lost without it. Not that it mattered today really because she never had it on at work anyway. But she missed Alex when he went away for work and just wanted to get in touch.

Without warning she was shoved violently into the wall. As she struggled to regain her footing, she was shoved again. She lost her balance and hit the floor with a thud, cracking her head on the wall. Blackness hovered at the edge of her mind even as she was aware of the scalding coffee soaking through her shirt.

“Oww,” she cried as she lifted the shirt away from her skin.

Total darkness engulfed her—not unconsciousness, but confinement in a small space. She moved her legs. Metal containers clanged. Something smacked on top of her head with a clatter. Tabitha reached up and found two broom handles. She pushed them aside and scrambled up. There was a small slash of light glowing by her feet. She guessed she was in the cleaner’s closet. She felt for the handle of the door. It wouldn’t turn. Someone had locked her in.

She bashed on the door. “Hey, let me out. Somebody, anybody, I’m trapped. Help!” she screamed.

No one came. Frustrated, she grabbed the door handle and twisted it up and down then bashed the door and screamed again. Being off the main thoroughfare, there was little chance of passing customers coming to her rescue, especially this early. It would need one of the tenants or staff to be passing before she would be heard. Mrs. Waldrop would be wondering where she was—she was never late, not once in the two years she had worked there. Tabitha berated herself for forgetting her phone and being caught unaware enough to be shoved in a cupboard. She hadn’t seen who pushed her, but guessed it was Amelia.

Periodically she bashed and kicked the door, and screamed until her throat hurt. Sweat poured down her face and trickled between her breasts as she gasped for air in the confined space. She slipped to the floor and sat among the buckets and cleaner’s paraphernalia, kicking and pounding on the door in between sustained bouts of screaming for help.

It seemed like forever, but finally she heard the rattle of keys outside the door. She immediately banged on the door.

“I’m opening the door, please wait,” a woman’s voice replied.

As light and fresh air rushed in, Tabitha stood blinking at the cleaning lady in the doorway.

“Thank you,” she said.

“How long have you been in my cupboard?” the woman asked.

Tabitha shook her head. “What’s the time?”

“It’s almost twelve-thirty.”

Dismay flooded her. She had been expected to start at eleven. She was late.

“Thank you again,” she said as she stepped past the woman and hurried down the corridor.

Mrs. Waldrop stood behind the counter, her face set in a sharp mask of disapproval and frustration as Tabitha entered the shop.

“And where have you been, young lady? Just look at you, filthy, sweaty and very, very late.”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Waldrop, someone locked me in the cleaner’s cupboard. I’ve just been let out. I’m so sorry.”

The older woman’s mouth pursed into a thin line. “I understand you have issues with that little vixen, but you were fostered on for eleven, and you’ve left me in a terrible quandary. I’ve had to call my niece, Janie, into help.”

Tabitha could see Janie hiding in the stockroom. She didn’t want any part of Tabitha’s dressing-down.

“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Waldrop. I think it was Amelia…”

“That may well be, but I’ve had more than enough of your bully, Tabitha. I’m sorry, but you might as well go home now. I’ll pay your outstanding wages into your account tomorrow. Please don’t return. I just can’t cope with such pranks.”

“Please, Mrs. Waldrop, don’t sack me, please.”

“I’m sorry, Tabitha, you’ve been a good employee, but I will not tolerate the company you keep. It disrupts my equilibrium. I do wish you well for the future.”

“Please, Mrs. Waldrop.”

The older woman shook her head. “Go home, Tabitha.”

Stunned by her predicament, she turned and walked out of the shop. She didn’t remember finding her way to the bus stop, but she must have for the next thing she was entering her own front door.

She fell into her mother’s arms and wailed. “Mom, I lost my job. Amelia got me sacked. She said she would.” Her choking tears cut off any other words.

“How the heck did she get you sacked? It must have been something you did. Mrs. Waldrop is no fool,” her mother stuttered.

Tabitha pulled away from her, hurt that her mother could even think it might have been something she did.

“Mom, that’s not fair. I didn’t do anything. First Amelia broke that ornament, then the other day she kept ringing the shop and finally when Mrs. Waldrop answered, she abused her. Mrs. Waldrop warned me she was not going to put up with such things happening. And today Amelia pushed me in the cleaner’s cupboard. I was in there for nearly two hours and by the time the cleaner let me out, I was late. Mrs. Waldrop sacked me on the spot.”

“Oh dear. This has just gone too far.”

“Mom, it went too far a long time ago, but no one takes it seriously.”

“Tabitha, that’s not true—your dad and I have tried our best.”

“I know, Mom, but it’s not enough. I can’t cope with it anymore. Now I only have a part-time job—I won’t have any money and I was saving for my car,” she wailed.

“Your father and I will support you until you can find other work, Tabitha.”

“I know, Mom, but that’s not the point. I will just become a burden to you. It’s so not fair. What did I ever do to Amelia? You tell me, Mom, what did I ever do to deserve this?”

Her mom shook her head. “I don’t know, love, but we can work it out.”

Tabitha shook her head. “Don’t say that, Mom, because it’s not true. If it was, then it would have got worked out ages ago, when I was in primary school or high school. Not now, when I’m an adult and in college, for God’s sake.”

“Tabitha, calm down.”

“I can’t. Don’t you get it yet, Mom? My life is going down the drain. My studies, my job, my whole life is shit. I’m shit.”

“Tabitha, I will not have you saying such things. That is a terrible thing to say.”

“Why, Mom, why, when it’s true. I don’t know why you even love me.” she shouted and ran to her room, slamming the door behind her before she threw herself onto her bed, giving into the sobs she had been desperately trying to keep in check all day.

* * * *

Tabitha forced her eyes open. The house seemed eerily silent. Then she remembered her parents had flown out to Mary’s funeral. She was alone. Flooded with despair, she shut her eyes. She couldn’t face the world just yet. Maybe not ever.

A small voice in her head taunted her. Round and round on how useless she was. In an attempt to shut it up, she burrowed deeper under the quilt. A desperate need for the toilet drove her out of bed the next time she woke. Her computer hummed at her as she stumbled back to bed. She paused. Walked two steps farther, then returned and slumped in the chair. Misery dragged her down into the depths. She had lost her friend, she had lost her job, nearly failed her last assignment, probably had failed the practical and been brutally humiliated online for the whole world to see. It wouldn’t be long before Alex dumped her too—no handsome man like him would want to be burdened by someone like her. Strange though it seemed, she couldn’t bring herself to blame Amelia entirely—it was her own fault, for being a stupid, spineless, worthless wuss.

The horror on the screen called her, mocked her and dared her to look again. It hadn’t gone away. It was all still there, in startling color and bold black print for all the world to see, her ultimate humiliation—the proof she was a failure, a waste of space. She couldn’t even cry this time. But it was time for it to end. She would remove the burden from the lives of those she loved and escape the continuing torment of Amelia Eckerton. Dry-eyed, she opened up her real profile and typed. Her status update was short.

I can’t do this anymore. I need peace. I love you, Mom and Dad, and I’m sorry. Goodbye, Alex, thanks for caring about me.

She shut the computer down. Emptiness swamped her and she felt strangely calm. As if in a trance, she walked to her parents’ bathroom and opened up the bathroom cabinet. The bottle of pills felt cold and hard in her hand. She slipped the bottle into her pocket. The dryer vent hose proved a bit harder to get, but with a couple of vicious tugs, she finally managed to release it. With the hose hanging on her shoulder, she walked to the kitchen. There weren’t as many pills as she would have liked, but she swallowed all of them with half a glass of water.

With the hose and the car keys, she stepped out onto the veranda. With exaggerated care, she locked the front door behind her. The garage was cold and dark with the two cars parked side by side, sleek and shiny. She attached the hose to the exhaust pipe of the family car and taped it with duct tape then crammed the other end in the partly open back window, locked the roller door and the small access door from the inside. When she turned the ignition key she saw, as expected, the car had a full tank of fuel. Her dad was very particular about both his cars.

A strange, disorienting fatigue blanketed her now and she guessed the tablets were taking effect, so she climbed into the back seat and lay down. The gentle vibration from the idling engine was soothing somehow. She drifted. It was hard to focus anymore so she stopped trying. She closed her eyes. No one could hurt her now.

* * * *

Alex glanced repeatedly at the door. Tabitha was late again, and while he waited for her to arrive and for the class to start, Alex opened up Facebook. He was surprised to see a friend request from Tabitha. Why has she set up a new profile? He confirmed the request and opened up her new page. He gaped at what confronted him. Waves of nausea rushed over him as he stared at the pornographic photos of Tabitha. He scrolled down the page with trembling fingers and found photos taken at the animal sanctuary—documenting Tabitha’s complete humiliation. What the hell. This isn’t Tabitha’s page. The only friends listed were Amelia Eckerton, Jaclyn and himself. He searched ‘Friends’ and found Tabitha’s real profile. It had been reactivated. Alex knew who to blame. He checked over his shoulder. Amelia wasn’t there. A damn good thing she hadn’t arrived yet or he would have… God knows he would probably have killed her.

A new post popped up in his newsfeed. He gulped as he read.

I can’t do this anymore. I need peace. I love you, Mom and Dad, and I’m sorry. Goodbye, Alex, thanks for caring about me.

Each word stabbed at him, sharp darts of ice right into his soul. Her words could only mean one thing. Tabitha was going to kill herself. He checked the time of the post. Five minutes ago. He snatched his phone from the desk and dialed Tabitha’s number. It rang and rang then went to voicemail.

“Kitty Kat, if you’re there, answer me.”

He typed in a text message and sent it.

There was no reply.

He sent another. No reply.

He grabbed Kayne by the arm, dragged him out of his chair and across in front of the screen.

“Does that mean what I think it does?” Alex stabbed the screen. “Well?” He was almost shouting now as Leo and Kayne stared in silence at the status update.

“Crap, Alex, this is bad,” Leo said.

Alex already had his keys in his hand. “Let’s go. Kayne, call the paramedics and the cops—you have her details?” he yelled at the stunned lecturer.

Kayne nodded before opening his student folder.

As the door swung closed, Alex heard Kayne calmly giving Tabitha’s home details to the emergency operator. His heart thumped and he felt sick. Bloody Eckerton. He couldn’t lose her—he was falling in love with the troubled Tabitha Cockell.

Neck and neck, the two of them thudded down the stairs and out into the car park. Alex threw ten bucks at the attendant and didn’t wait for his change as they roared out under the boom gate with barely an inch to spare over the roof of the car. It wasn’t far to Tabitha’s place and it was after peak hour traffic. Alex clutched the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip.

“Got to go faster, can’t let her die,” he muttered over and over.

“If you go any faster, mate, we’ll get pulled over or dead quicker than her. Just hold your horses,” Leo cautioned him.

Alex concentrated on the road as they hurtled north toward Para Hills. “What if she isn’t home, what if she’s gone somewhere?” Alex asked. His throat was so closed over in panic he could hardly speak.

“Don’t lose it, Alex, we’re doing all we can.”

Moments later Leo gasped as Alex raced through an intersection, crossing the line just as the lights turned red. He was doing well more then twenty kilometers an hour over the limit, but even then he was nearly turning himself inside out in agony by the time they turned onto Tabitha’s street. The ambulance was right behind them, its lights flashing and sirens blaring. Even as he slammed on the brakes, Alex was unbelted and leaping from the car. He raced up the steps and pounded on the front door. He tried the handle. It was locked.

“Damn. Damn. Damn. Tabitha, open up. Tabitha, it’s Alex!” he shouted. A deadly abandoned feeling buffeted him. He wanted to scream, but he clenched his fists and pounded on the door again. His thuds echoed emptily above the noises behind him. In the moment he stopped pounding on the door, the ambulance siren cut out and a deep silence embraced him. Another sound, a soft purr, caught his attention. A car. “ Leo, the garage,” Alex yelled.

They reached the door at the same moment, but despite their desperate efforts, the roller door wouldn’t lift.

“Tabitha. Tabitha,” Alex bellowed as he slammed his fist into the roller door.

Two paramedics appeared around the corner. “All the doors are locked and there are no windows,” the blond one said.

“Find something, guys, to jimmy the door. I won’t let it end like this. So close. Damn it, Leo, what can we use?”

It was then Alex realized Leo had already gone back to the car. He opened his mouth to yell at his mate, but shut it with a snap when he saw him returning with a wheel wrench in his hand.

“Move over, mate,” Leo said, and shoved Alex out of the way so he could ram the wrench under the door just by the latch. Heaving and grunting, Leo forced it down. The latch snapped. Four pairs of hands lifted the door. Noxious fumes engulfed them. Leo went to the driver’s door and switched off the engine. The silence was shattering.

Alex wrenched the back passenger door open. “She’s here,” he yelled.

The paramedics were right there and Alex stood back as they dragged Tabitha from the back seat. She was still and pale, her eyes closed. Alex couldn’t see if she was breathing. He hopped from one foot to the other as Tabitha was laid on the lawn in the fresh air.

“Is she… Is she alive?” Alex could barely get the question out.

One of the paramedics looked up. “Hang in there, mate. We’ve got her.” Even as he spoke, the two paramedics had begun to administer resuscitation. Alex paced. Leo sat in a dejected slump on one of the front steps.

It seemed like an interminable wait, but finally the paramedic said quietly, “We have a pulse and she’s breathing. We need to get her to hospital right now.”

Alex felt helpless as the paramedics lifted Tabitha onto a stretcher and loaded her into the ambulance. She was so still and lifeless. He felt guilty now. He should have done more to protect her. Deep down, though, he suspected any action on his part probably wouldn’t have stopped Amelia’s abuse or changed Tabitha’s reaction to it.

Alex fretted as they followed the ambulance to the hospital and saw her wheeled into the emergency room. He rang Kayne and told him Tabitha was alive, but unconscious. He wanted to do something more, but all they could do now was wait in the starkness of the waiting room. People came and people went, but still there was no news on Tabitha. It was getting dark outside when Alex saw Tabitha’s parents hurry to the desk.

“Tabitha Cockell? I’m her mom.”

“Come through, Mrs. Cockell. She hasn’t been moved to a ward yet.”

Alex leaped out of the chair. “Mr. and Mrs. Cockell. We found her, me and Leo. Can you please let us know how she is, when you can?”

Alex saw the tears in Mrs. Cockell’s eyes, but she smiled ever so slightly. Then suddenly Mrs. Cockell engulfed Alex in a huge bear hug of soft breasts and flowery perfume.

“I can never adequately thank either of you for what you’ve done,” she murmured before she pushed away from Alex to include Leo in her statement. “Of course we’ll let you know, as soon as we know anything.”

She didn’t wait for them to respond, but turned away and sailed through the emergency room door with her husband trailing behind.

It was almost an hour before Tabitha’s father returned. “Tabitha’s still unconscious. They don’t expect her to regain consciousness for a while yet. We won’t know anything much until then.” He looked from one to the other. “But without you young fellas, she would not have survived at all. Lillian and I will be eternally grateful for what you’ve done today, and…for being Tabitha’s friends.”

Alex frowned as he shook Aaron Cockell’s hand. “I should have done more, Mr. Cockell, I should have. Then it might not have come to this.”

Aaron shook his head. He looked incredibly sad. “Lillian and I feel the same… We tried, but it wasn’t enough. We feel guilty for failing to protect her, but we didn’t know what else to do.” His eyes glistened with tears as he fell silent.

A bubble of guilt welled up around them. There was nothing more to say. They all felt the weight of their failure to protect Tabitha.

“I’ll wait here, Mr. Cockell, until I know. I love her,” Alex almost wailed in his distress.

Tabitha’s father shook his head. “Go home, Alex, there is nothing more you can do, I have your home number,” he muttered.

“But…”

Alex stopped speaking because Aaron Cockell wasn’t listening, he had already turned away and shuffled back into the emergency room, hunched over as if under an almost unbearable weight.