Chapter 68

“But Levi lives under our roof,” Mr. Byrne said, “and he will follow our rules. He will wait until he’s married to make me a grandfather.”

“But neither Levi nor Beckett can get pregnant,” Judith said.

My face flamed hot, and if I’d had soup in my mouth I would have choked on it.

“There are other ways to become parents. Like adoption,” Grace said.

“Or surrogacy,” Mr. Byrne added.

Levi hadn’t moved a muscle during this entire surreal exchange and I ached to pull him close and ask what was wrong. But it was impossible with the twins on my lap, and I didn’t want an audience as I did it.

Fortunately, they changed the subject and we finished the meal without talking more about sleepovers or babies. After dinner, Matt was saddled with cleanup. Levi and I declined dessert and escaped the rambunctious family.

But even after we’d shut and locked the door to Levi’s room behind us, he still didn’t speak. He was clearly uncomfortable about something, and my stomach twisted into a knot of worry as he walked away from me and disappeared behind the drape that hid his bed.

After kicking off my shoes, I followed and found him curled up on his side with his face to the wall. I spooned up behind him and slid my arm around his waist.

With a deep sigh, he pressed himself back against my chest, and the worry-knot unfurled.

“What’s wrong?” I caressed his belly. He didn’t answer but relaxed, so I kept touching him. I snuck my hand under his shirt and splayed my fingers on his warm skin. Peppered the nape of his neck with butterfly light kisses and pressed my thighs against his.

It took a while, but eventually, he relaxed completely in my arms. “It was something Dad said,” he mumbled, and I had to strain my ears to hear him.

I withdrew my hand and climbed over him, laid down facing him. I put my hand over his heart and gave him a smile. “Tell me about it?”

He closed his eyes. “I’m afraid it will scare you away.”

I slid my palm upward until I could cup his dear face. “I can’t promise anything before I know what you’re talking about, but I give you my word that I’ll listen.”

His eyes fluttered open. “It’s what he said about…about making him a grandfather.”

“Mhm?” I hooked my leg over his, trying to comfort him with my body.

“It’s just…I never want kids of my own. Never.” He stressed the word with such vehemence there was no doubt he meant it. “I know this might sound selfish, but when I get married I don’t want to share my husband. I want you to be mine and nobody else’s.”

His use of pronouns didn’t escape my attention and my heart leaped in my chest.

“And why would that scare me away?” I traced his eyebrow with my thumb and ran my fingers down his cheek until my hand rested on the side of his neck. I could feel his pulse point under my fingertips.

“Don’t you want kids?”

I shook my head. “No.”

His eyes widened. “You don’t?”

“No,” I repeated. “I’ve never felt the longing for children. To tell you the truth, I’m scared I’d become like my own parents. Cold and distant.” I would never want any kid to feel the way I had when I’d grown up. Lonely and unimportant. And with my mother and father as role models, that was the best I could hope for.

“You could never be cold and distant.” He curled into my chest. “You’d be a great dad. You have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met.”

“Are you trying to convince me to change my mind?” I chuckled.

“No!”

“Good. That would be stupid since you don’t want kids.”

His hands found their way under my shirt and I forced myself to relax. He’d proved over and over that he was attracted to me and liked my body with love handles and all, and I was trying my best to learn to trust in it. “Do you really mean it?” he asked.

“I do. I love the idea of being just the two of us. Besides. It’s not like our lives will be deprived of kids. Between your brothers and sisters, we’ll soon have a gazillion nieces and nephews to spoil.”

“That’s true,” Levi said with a chuckle.

“This whole ‘no sleepover’ thing is a different matter though.”

“Yes, I’m sorry about that.”

“We’ll just have to make sure this isn’t a lengthy engagement.”

“Engagement?” he asked, lifted his head, and looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes. “We’re engaged?”

Heat crept up my neck and settled in my cheeks. “Um. That’s not…You know what I mean.”

“I do.” He leaned in and kissed me, and I forgot everything about my slip of the tongue and concentrated on his mouth. His lips. His passion.