Chapter 77
As if afraid Dana might pull away again if she tried too much too soon, Bethany placed her hand on the table, palm up, and waited. When Dana didn’t take it, Bethany wiggled her fingers, an open invitation. “Aren’t we still friends?” she asked softly.
“I don’t know,” Dana admitted. “Are we?”
With a sigh, Bethany murmured, “I’ve done a lot of thinking since you left. I cut my hours at work, thinking maybe you’d come back on your own if I did, but a week went by, then two, and I didn’t know where you’d gone. I called your house and your mom wouldn’t let me talk to you, so I thought you were mad at me. I know I’ve been shitty to you lately—”
“Where’d you sleep the night before I left?” Dana wanted to know.
“At the Consulate.” Bethany balled her hand into a loose fist, annoyed. “I know it sounds like an excuse, and it is, kind of, but I didn’t realize how much they were taking advantage of me until you left. I mean, I’m just out of college, ready to take on the world…I’m from a small town in the sticks, for Christ’s sake! I thought people would take it easy on me, you know? This is my first real job—”
“This is New York, Bethy,” Dana reminded her. “You didn’t seriously think—”
“But I did, that’s just it. I was stupid, I realize that now, and I almost lost you because of it.” Bethany’s fist relaxed, opening again, and she looked at Dana, beseeching. “Give me another chance, that’s all I’m asking for here. I miss you; I miss us. I miss what we had, and I want it back.”
Dana sighed and pushed her bangs out of her eyes. “I don’t know if it’s that easy. If we can just go backto what we had before. I—I can’t pretend like I didn’t kiss you. Like I don’t love you. I can’t ignore the way you make me feel.”
Now Bethany caught Dana’s hand in hers, and before Dana could pull away again, she covered it with the other hand to hold it in place. “That’s one of the things I’ve been thinking about,” she murmured. “No—hear me out. I’m not saying I’m suddenly into girls, or anything like that. But I’ve come to realize that I…I can’t not have you in my life. I need you, Dana, simple as that. Please come back with me.”
The blood roared in Dana’s ears, and she couldn’t be sure she heard her friend clearly over the sound. She couldn’t even hear herself speak or feel her numb lips move when she reminded Bethany, “You said we were just friends. You said—”
“Maybe…” Bethany shrugged and squeezed Dana’s hand. Her gaze held Dana’s, pinning her in place. “Maybe we can be something more. I don’t like other girls, but I like you. No—I love you, I do. And I know you still love me, too.”
Dana’s mind spun in a million directions at once, and her heart swelled with emotion. She loves me. You heard it here first, guys. In a dingy booth at Denny’s. She loves me. I don’t know whether to scream or laugh or cry.Part of her wanted to do all three at once, and the conflicting emotions seemed to cancel each other out, so she simply sat there, stunned, unsure of what to say or do next.
Before she could come up with a response, anyresponse, a throat cleared above them and Dana looked up to find the waitress standing over them, staring at them with wide eyes. “I’m just gonna come back, okay?” She flashed them an embarrassed, toothy grin. “Take your time.”
As she hurried away, Dana glanced at Bethany. A moment later, they burst into giggles, their friendship mended as if it had never been broken in the first place. 5: Like I Love You
January 2000
Dana stayed with her parents through the holidays, then returned with Bethany to New York. Though her mother bitched about the arrangement, she thought both her parents were more than a little relieved to see her go. At her age, she needed to be out of their house and on her own, even if that meant living with someone else. As long as it wasn’t with them, they were happy.