Chapter 3

Josh and I met two days later for our first real “date.” He had clearly taken the idea much more seriously than I had, arriving dressed in a tight, button-up black and blue shirt and jeans that looked like they'd never been worn, and with his hair showing even more shine, while I sported shorts and a t-shirt that I hoped I'd washed in the last week. We met in the school's quad early in the afternoon on a still-warm Friday, surrounded by other students making their way down the paths that cut through the grass and slowly changing trees. I could tell that the crowd made Josh uncomfortable, so I suggested we take a walk in the nearby woods, which he gladly agreed to.

A few minutes later we were making our way through a dense forest, one with numerous veering paths and the occasional scent of marijuana. I put my arm around Josh's shoulders, which he was initially hesitant about, but he relaxed when it was clear there was no one nearby.

As we walked, the sun shining through the towering canopy of leaves and our feet crunching the sticks along the ground, I gave Josh the standard “so tell me about yourself” question and was happy when he opened up immediately. He lived with his parents, who'd been none-too-pleased about his late arrival two evenings prior; his father was a construction manager and his mother developed curriculums for homeschools, something Josh himself had been in until he was fifteen. He had an older brother, who also lived at home with them—Josh’s tone seemed to drop when he mentioned him.

At my direction, we veered off the path entirely and started walking among the trees, stepping over roots and stumps. I kept my arm around him, and he nuzzled his head against my shoulder. Even amid the crisp forest air I could smell a whiff of cologne coming from him. It made him even more adorable, that he'd felt the need to wear some perfume for me. As though his scent was going to make me like him any more than I already did.

We spotted a fallen log deep in the woods and took a seat. Still rubbing his shoulder, I asked Josh when he'd known he was gay, another standard question for all my dates. He answered this one with less ease, stuttering on his words for a few seconds before saying that it was around nine or ten, when he started having weird dreams about male characters from Pokémon. I was barely able to hold in my laughter, but as soon as he started talking about the guilt he’d felt when he had those dreams, any of the humor in the situation went away.

“What about you?” Josh asked. We’d been sitting on the log in silence for a few minutes, with no sound but the light wind passing through the trees and the occasional crunchy leaf falling nearby. “Tell me all about Trent.”

I chuckled. “What would you like to know? I’m an open book.”

He nudged his elbow into my side. “Prove it. Tell me everything.”

“Okay. I have a younger sister who lives back in Chicago with my dad. She’s a really talented singer, I’m fully expecting her to get signed to a label someday. My dad is a pilot, and when we were kids we pretty much flew around the world. I have pictures of me along the Great Wall of China, the Sydney Opera House, in Moscow, Montreal, London… I could go on.”

“So, you like to travel?”

“Honestly, I really don’t. I guess I found the whole experience of flying to a whole bunch of different places to be really hectic. I like planting my roots, I guess. And I’m more of an outdoorsy kind of guy, and the travelling we did was mainly to large, busy cities. It’s why I like studying here. You walk five minutes and, boom, you’re in the middle of the woods.” I pulled him closer to me. “And I’m just so fortunate that I’m here with a really cute boy.”

“Yeah, you are lucky.” He once again leaned his head against me. “What does your mom do?”

“Decompose.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. “Shit. Sorry. That’s a joke I normally make with friends…” I cleared my throat. “Um, she’s dead. She died a decade ago when I was ten.”

“Oh no!” Josh put a hand on my leg and looked up at me with those big, blue eyes. “I’m so sorry. What happened?”

“Car accident. More so, she was hit by a car after she had a seizure and fell off the curb on the sidewalk.”

“Wow. That must have been really difficult for you.”

“It was for a while, but, you know, time passes, and you move on. My dad's honestly a super-parent. He got me and my sister to every hockey game and concert, he was really involved in our schoolwork and meeting with our teachers, would let us throw parties from time to time… he was the real deal. And when I came out to him last year, let's just say his surprise seemed a little bit forced.”

Josh shifted uncomfortably at this. I felt a bit bad and tried to think of a way to change the subject, but he spoke first. “So, you only came out last year? You must have been in the closet for a while.”

“Eh, a few years. I had just turned sixteen when I realized it.”

“You didn't realize you were gay until you were sixteen?” he nearly shouted. His voice echoed against the thick tree trunks around us.

“Yeah, yeah, I get that a lot. Up until then, I genuinely thought I was straight. Dated a few girls, fooled around a bit, and then one day I was getting changed after practice and I glanced over at one of my teammates taking his shirt off. It was like a switch had been flipped in my mind or something. I couldn't look away.”

“And that's how you knew?”

“Ha. Of course not. It was the first inkling. It took me a good few months before it really occurred to me that what I had felt for my 'girlfriends' was nothing compared to how I felt when I was around a guy crush.”

“Oh. Cool.” He stared off, clearly trying to take everything in. I could tell that this was all so new for him—this was his first date ever, after all—and it was probably better to leave the conversation where it was.

“So have we gotten to know each other well enough now?” I asked. “'Cause we're out here all alone, it's a gorgeous day, and there are other, better ways I think we could spend the time.”

He rolled his eyes and laughed. “It's a good thing you're an athlete. I’m kinda surprised you’ve ever been able to interact with anyone in society.”

“So be it. I'm done talking anyway.” I leaned my head in and kissed his cheek, then slowly made my way to his lips, which gave off a slightly fruity taste. Flavored chap stick. This guy had come prepared.

We spent another hour in the forest, uninterrupted in our secluded area except by the occasional squirrel or bird. Half the time, I found myself just holding Josh close to me, breathing in his cologne and appreciating the feeling of his warm skin. He became more and more comfortable as time passed, beginning by initiating kisses and then taking control, rubbing his arms all over my body while he nibbled my ear or reaching into my pants and gently teasing me. At one point I tried to undo his own jeans, but he pushed me away, saying that someone could see us. It wouldn't have surprised me if he imagined that “someone” being his parents.

The sun was still high as we left the forest and walked back across the quad, now noticeably emptier. Josh walked quickly and kept pushing his hair back behind his ears. “My grandmother is visiting this weekend. She'll probably be arriving anytime now, so I need to get home and look good when I do.” This was a different tone—very serious and all-business.

I grabbed his hand. “I don't think you're going to have any problems with the second part.”

“Unfortunately, her definition of looking good is quite different from yours.” He stopped and faced me. Gah, those eyes. “I'll likely be showing her around the campus and then going out to dinner with the rest of the family, so I won't be free until Monday. And, you know, if you see me, please pretend you don't know me. I don't want them asking any questions.”

“I'll try,” I said, mocking a pained expression. “But if I see you I don't know if I'll be able to control myself. I may just jump on top of you, tear your clothes off and start making out like it's the end of the world.”

He punched my shoulder, which, thanks to my last hockey game, hurt a lot more than it should have. “I'm serious. Don't do it.”

“Fine, fine. I won’t. Sheesh.”

He nodded. It took him a few seconds to start talking again. “Let's hang out early next week. Can you do Monday?”

I grinned. “Probably not, but let's do it anyway.”

“Good.” He looked around, and then kissed me quickly. “I'll see you soon.”

“Can't wait.” I leaned up against a tree and watched him run off. It was true—I really couldn't wait. For the first time in my life, I genuinely wanted the weekend to pass by and for it to be Monday. Man, oh man, what was this boy doing to me?