Chapter Fifteen

Sara When I got back to the dorms, I did exactly as Noah suggested I should do. I completely ignored everything, including the fact that I still had classes that day. I didn’t even change my clothes, just got underneath my covers and closed my eyes. I don’t know when I fell asleep.

I woke up hours later. The room was already dark, but not the pitch black that would mean it was night time. It was around six in the evening when I checked the time on my phone. My stomach rumbled when I realized I felt a little hungry.

Luckily, tomorrow was Saturday and I could be as lazy as I wanted to be. I didn’t want to go out, just in case I walked into someone I didn’t want to see right then, two people in particular, but I really was hungry. So, I used the bathroom and then went out to buy something I could take with me back to the dorms. When I got back, I ate quickly before getting right back into bed. It took longer to fall asleep this time, but I didn’t have anywhere to go.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I felt much better, and worse at the same time. I didn’t want to think about what had happened, so I did my best to forget it, and the hours passed.

It wasn’t until later when I’d had plenty of time to process things, and thinking of how I’d acted, that I felt ashamed.

What am I, a big baby?

Mom was right when she said I was acting selfishly. I’d expected her to move on eventually, so what if she didn’t tell me? She still had the right to live her life as she pleased. And, if the man she chose to marry just happened to be the dad of the boy I was seeing, then that wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t have known. If I had my way, she never would.

There was only one thing I didn’t think I could ever resolve. After this, I didn’t think there could be anything between Noah and me. Fucking my own stepbrother would just feel wrong, now that I knew.

My first priority had to be Mom. I’d left her upset yesterday. I had to make it up to her.

I picked up my phone to send her a quick message, and sighed unhappily when she sent one back nearly two minutes later that said something came up and she went back home. I bit my lip, guilt a weight almost too heavy to take. I’d walked out on her and hadn’t said anything for hours, so it was a stretch to expect her to wait around for me, but that wasn’t what bothered me the most. Mom had come down to surprise me, and instead of being happy, I made her feel so bad that she left without letting me know. I didn’t want to create distance between Mom and me. I might not know Greg, but I’d still want to see my mom no matter what.

The decision was a quick one to make. I got showered and changed and picked up my bag to leave. I thought about packing some clothes but realized there was no need. I was going to go home to talk to Mom, I still had stuff there to wear.

Home wasn’t too close to school. It was a few hours away by car, and after calling for a car to take me, I was on my way. I still had classes Monday, but I could return after spending one night at home. The first since I got into the school.

I was back home before lunchtime. I didn’t let her know I was on my way, so I was anxious as I rang the bell and waited for her to open the door for me. After what happened, I didn’t expect her to be happy to see me, but she would at least let me into the house. The door opened a moment later, and Mom was there with a polite smile at the ready, only for it to drop the moment she saw me.

“Sara,” she breathed out, eyes wide with her surprise.

I tried to smile, but I wasn’t sure how well it worked.

“Can I come inside?” I asked tentatively.

She blinked, and immediately moved to the side, to give me room to walk into my home. I waited for her to close the door behind us, then we both walked over to the living room. I didn’t like that it felt like I was a visitor in my own house. We sat awkwardly next to each other on the couch. Mom looked down as she played with her fingers in her lap, and I didn’t know where to start. It just wasn’t us, and I felt tears sting my eyes.

“Oh, Mom,” I whispered. “Of course, I’m happy for you. I’m really sorry about that day.”

She looked up and met my eyes, her own looking a little wet as she smiled.

“There’s no reason for you to say sorry,” she sighed. “I know it’s a big change, and I knew it would be a surprise to you. But I didn’t want to interrupt your studies, and… I was a little worried about how you would take it.”

“I do still miss Dad,” I agreed. “Even after ten years, but I’m not going to begrudge you being happy. I definitely support you.”

Mom threw her arms around me before I finished speaking, and I hugged her back. I didn’t want to cry, but when I heard Mom sniffle over my shoulder, my own eyes filled with tears until they dripped, and I buried my face in her neck.

We both had a short little cry before we pulled apart. Our gazes met, and we both laughed a little as we wiped away the tears and calmed down.

“I really am sorry,” I murmured, showing an expression full of consternation. “I was just surprised when it was Noah that showed up. I know him, I’ve seen him around campus.”

“That’s fine, honey. You can try and talk to him a little, too. He’s probably having a hard time with this, just like you. He only found out hours before you did.”

My eyebrows jumped up. “He did?”

She nodded. “His dad called him, and we invited him to join us for lunch. But he wasn’t feeling well, so he left without eating.”

I frowned, looking down. So, he really did find out the same day I did.

Mom, as if seeing my dropping mood, grabbed my hand. I looked up, and she smiled.

“It’ll be an adjustment,” she said. “For me and you both. Trust me, we both miss your dad, but I think it’s enough time?”

I pursed my lips. “It’s not just about time, okay? The way you’ve been the past ten years, I wanted you to be happy, but I honestly didn’t think you’d marry again. You and Dad were so in love with each other, I was a kid back then, but I could tell because I never saw any of my friends’ parents be that close. He was amazing, to the both of us, the nicest guy out there to just about anyone. A great man. When he was gone, we both locked ourselves away from the world.”

She nodded. “I remember. Your dad really was a great man, Sara. That hasn’t changed, neither does the fact that I loved him, just because I have a new man in my life now. I’ve found love, Sara. Something I never thought I would have again. It makes me happy.”

I smiled, even though I felt brittle on the inside.

“Then, I’m happy for you, Mom.”

Her hand squeezed around mine as her smile widened.

It’s going to be okay, I told myself. It has to be.

As for the issue with Noah… I’d just have to avoid him. There was no way for the two of us to be together when we were siblings now, even if it was just stepsiblings. There was nothing for Mom to know, either.

Then, someone walked into the room, and I looked up, mood dropping when I saw it was Greg.

Of course, he would be here; I tried to tell myself.

The two of them were now married, and Mom still lived at home, where else would he be?

“Oh, Sara,” he said, looking at me in surprise. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

I smiled and hoped it looked natural. “I just stopped by to talk things out with Mom. She didn’t know, either.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “Well, this is your home after all, so it’s a given that you’re welcome here. Stay as long as you need.”

I nodded back, wondering if I really needed to stay home over the weekend, or if I could just go back earlier…

“Oh, Tina,” he said, turning to Mom. “Have you done the bank transfer yet?”

Mom sniffled, patting the edges of her eyes with her fingers. “Not yet, Greg. I’m sorry. Sara showed up, and I forgot to do it. I’ll do it after lunch.”

“Ah, good,” he said, smiling.

Then, he turned and left.

I blinked at the exchange and turned to Mom.

“What did he mean, bank transfer?” I asked, feeling suspicious.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Mom said dismissively. “Greg just has this new business venture, and he’s been having trouble getting investors, so I offered him the money. I don’t know a lot about business, but the proposal he gave me looked pretty good.”

What the heck?

They only just got married, and he was asking for money from her? That wasn’t something a new husband would do, right? My suspicions grew.

“Mom, when did you get married?” I asked.

She blinked. “Um, not too long ago. Maybe a week before we came to visit you? I really wanted a small wedding, but he thought it would be better if we registered first, then wait for you and Noah to have the time so we could do the wedding.”

I nodded slowly. “Mom, can you do me a favor? Hold off on transferring the money for a bit? Just give me some time, I’d like to talk to Noah first.”

My mind had gotten a lot clearer, Noah told me he had something important to tell me to do with our parents. And the fact that his father had gambled away his college funds.

“Um, okay?” Mom said, looking confused. “Sure, honey. I can do that.”

I sighed.

“I’ll be going back to school, then, but I’ll see you soon, okay?” There was no way I could spend the night as I planned now.

She still looked confused, but she hugged me back when I threw my arms around her, then walked me to the door.

Even though I’d just thought about avoiding him some minutes ago, I knew it wasn’t possible. Whatever Noah had to tell me, I was ready to listen. My stomach rumbled in protest because I hadn't eaten anything yet, but I ignored it as I once again called for a car to take me back to school.