CHAPTER 26

CHAPTER 26
—Let me. Go. Ezequiel.— I look into his eyes, wanting him to see the fire in mine. That I'm so angry at him right now. He's hurt so much for days. I can't stand his touch. I don't want him, but I crave him with all my might. I need him to let me go, so I can retreat to my car and berate myself for coming in here.

“No,” he says, and then his mouth closes over mine.

I pressed myself against his chest as his hands released my arms to slide down my sides. His lips pressed harder against mine, his hard cock digging into my stomach. Damn the lust that surges through me at the memory of how he feels when he's inside me. Damn my hands for not pressing harder against his chest, but instead staying there. I can barely keep them from moving higher and wrapping around his neck.

His tongue licks between my lips, and I command my mouth not to open, not to give itself to this man who has broken my heart. But my mouth, my body, ignore me, opening for him as my body leans further into him. He growls as his tongue slides into my mouth while his hands run over my ass to the bottom of my miniskirt. In an instant, he spins us so my back is slammed against the wall, and then he lifts me up, parting my thighs so he can slide his body between them.

His tongue lash out at mine hard as his hand slides between us. I feel him pull down my shorts moments before ripping my panties aside, making me hiss in pain as the fabric digs into my skin. He tears his mouth from mine, his lips moving to my neck, and I arch my neck traitorously, desperate for more. Eyes wide, I realize that even with the lights off, anyone walking by could see us with the backroom lights on. However, when he brings the tip of his penis closer to my entrance, I find I don't care.

He enters me, and I let out a deep breath, filled with how much I've longed to have him inside me again, filled with how much I feared he'd never be there again. His moan against my neck makes me shudder, pressing myself against him.

—God, Laury, —he growls.

Him saying my name hurts me, much more than I want to admit right now.

—Just fuck me—, I beg.

He pulls his hips back and drives into me. My eyes close again and I meet punishing thrust after punishing thrust, his hands on my hips making sure I have no escape. Our bodies collide again and again, my hands gripping his shoulders and his lips sucking on my neck, surely leaving marks behind. His cock slides into me easily, my pussy so wet I can hear it between my moans and his sounds. Every time he enters me, there's a stab of pain at my opening, me stretching around him, but the rest is nothing but pleasure. His cock lighting up every nerve on its way in and out. Him deep inside me, hitting a spot that makes my back arch and high-pitched pleas for more fall upon my lips. His groin rubbing against my clit when we're as close as we can get.

"Ezequiel," I whisper. "More. Please."

—Hold me tighter.—

I wrap my arms around his neck, and he wraps his arms around my back. Then he thrusts into me so hard and fast that I feel dizzy with each stroke. My head falls back against the wall as my thighs press harder against his sides, my ankles locking behind his back. My orgasm is right there, closer to my grasp as he thrusts into me and stays there, rubbing against my swollen clit. I push my body harder against him, digging my nails into his neck.

“Cum on my cock, Laury,” he moans in my ear. “You know you want to. Show me how much you love the feeling of me filling you up.”

I can only moan. He changes angle, lowering himself slightly as his hands return to my hips. Then he thrusts into me hard, lifting me by the hips to grind me against him. My fingers tangle in his hair as he fucks me, the tension building inside me, reaching a breaking point, becoming unbearable. And along with the tension comes pleasure, growing, overwhelming, consuming me.

A breathy moan leaves me, and Ezequiel must know what it means, how close I am. He growls and brings his mouth to the crest of my chest, sinking his teeth into my skin and bringing me to the edge I've been teetering on.

“Don’t stop,” I screamed as I came, my pussy spasming around him.

He lets out a wild moan against my skin, long and deep, as he begins to thrust into me with incredible force. My back rubs painfully against the wall, but I don't care with the pleasure between my thighs, with the release of tension inside me.

Then his hand is on my throat, pushing up until my eyelids slowly lift, but I can't see anything but the ceiling and the remaining stars dancing in my vision. His grip tightens as he enters me and stays there. A strangled moan escapes me as I feel his body rubbing against my now hypersensitive clit. His mouth moves to my ear just in time for me to hear the shaky breath that escapes as he comes inside me.

He arches his hips forward, thrusting deeper into me, and I arch my back back, desperate for him not to leave me yet. I need this moment not to end. He presses hard against me, crushing me between him and the wall. Though I can't say I don't like it at all.

But then he slides down, taking me with him until he's on the floor and I'm wrapped around him, arms on his neck, legs tightening around his waist, clinging to him as if he's still my lover and not the man who turned my love into pain. I push that thought away, not yet ready for reality to creep back in. I don't want a reason to let go yet. Our chests crash against each other's with our ragged breaths. My thighs tremble at either side of him with the pleasure still vibrating through me. I can feel it, though, when he remembers, his body turning to stone beneath mine, but he grips me tighter, like he's afraid I'll remember too and run. Does he care if I run? Does he remember that he hurt me, or that he doesn't care and shouldn't have done any of what we just did? Uncertainty knocks me back down to where I don't want to be. I should feel safe in his arms, content in his embrace, or at least I used to. Now, I'm confused. It's still inside me, and yet, suddenly I feel so empty. I hate it.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he says, my eyes widening at words I wasn’t expecting to hear. “I never meant to. I just… I know you’re not her. I know that. I know it in my mind, but in here…” He puts his hand between us, and as he brings it to his chest, I feel it tremble. “In here, I’m terrified you’ll break me. She didn’t break me, Laury. She betrayed my trust and made me doubt whether Jeremiah and I could have what others have, our own version of normal. She hurt me, but she didn’t break me. But with you, I know she would break me.”

It's a painful mix of emotions that runs through me. I'm glad to know I'm in his heart. I'm sad that he thinks, even for a second, that I would break the heart he's let me into. I'm angry that what someone else has done to him makes him doubt me. I'm disappointed that this distrust and distance still exist between us.

"Am I in your heart, Ezequiel?" I ask, stepping back to see his face as I bring my hand to his chest as well, placing it over his.

There's fear in her eyes, but her lips curl into a small smile. "I don't think you gave me a choice, really. Or better yet, I never had the slightest chance."

I want to smile back, but I suppress the urge. Instead, I put my hand to his temple. "Then you'd better find out what's going on here. Before you lose your place."

I place my hand over my own heart and her smile disappears.

You sat in the car and told me all the things true love wouldn't do, but you did. You made me doubt. You made me feel less than. I don't deserve to feel this way. Not when I never gave you a reason to think my words or actions were lies. Not when I opened up to you. Not when I gave you what I swore I'd never give to anyone.

I stand up suddenly, causing him to slide off me as I ignore how unsteady my legs feel as I stand on him.

So I withdraw my love from you, and you'll have to humble yourself to get it back. And you'd better wait, wait, that when you finally come to your senses and realize what we really had, I'll allow you into my heart.

"Laury." He starts to stand up, slipping back into his shorts.

I shake my head and step away, pulling down my skirt, not even thinking that I feel him coming out of me. "There's nothing more to say to each other. I know what I want. You have to figure out what you want and if you're really ready for what you want."

I spin on my heels and walk toward the door, feeling his gaze burning into me like a brand, burning into my back. I walk out the door, cross the street, and get into my car, not looking back once, forcing myself not to check if he's still looking as I start the car. I'm not even sure I check for traffic before pulling out onto the street and racing out of the gym. Only then, with the darkened gym in my rearview mirror, do I admit I'm terrified he'll decide he doesn't truly love me. That I'm not worth the fight my mom talked about. That I'm not right for him the way I know he and Jeremiah are for me.

At a red light, I pull out my phone and send the same message to my mom and my group chat with Sarah and Kamila.

Me: I said what I had to say. I did what I had to say. Now, the ball's in your court.

My mom will know what she's talking about, and I told Sarah and Kamila what's been going on and the conversation with my mom, so they'd understand, too. They all responded at once.

Sar: Well, let's hope he's a very good basketball player.

Ka: I mean, he's not tall for nothing. He's got everything. Or we'll just put him in one of Shawn's cribs until he stops acting like a baby.

Sar: Oh, we could even get him a onesie, a cute bib that says, "I'm a fool."

I laugh as I type a reply.

Me: You guys almost make me hope he'll act like this so we can do just this.

Then I move on to my mother's text.

Mom: If he has any sense, he'll come running, honey. Oh, and P.S. I booked a cruise for next week.

I write hesitantly: With whom?

Mom: Just me. Me, myself, and I.

I smile as I type my next message.

Me: I love that, Mom.

The light turns green, and I feel a little lighter as I get back on the road. Either Ezequiel comes crawling, or we lock him in a crib. Sounds good to me.