After my emergency surgery I had to stay in the hospital for three weeks and I absolutely hate every minute. This time I am nicer to the nurses and other staff but I really hate being here. I just want to go home but they want to keep me here to make sure I’m clotting and making sure there are no other complications. My mother has been here every day since I came in and my sister has been here but not as much. I’m sick of watching television, reading, and playing candy crush and card games on my phone. They say that I get to go home tomorrow if everything is still looking good but with this new issue I’m going to have to be basically on bed rest for four months. This just really cannot be happening to me right now. My job has already been notified and they found a replacement until I come back. What am I supposed to do at home for four months? I lean back against my pillows waiting for my mother to come back from the cafeteria. They’ve already served my dinner but I wasn’t hungry so it’s still sitting on the tray. “Can someone please explain to me why this is happening to me?” I’ve been asking myself that same question since I’ve been conscious and I’ve still not received an answer. Well, truth be told, I wasn’t really expecting an answer.
My mother finally comes back from the cafeteria and she has a to-go plate that she says she will eat when she gets home and I just shake my head then stare out the window like I’ve done pretty much every day that I’ve been stuck here. When I first started doing this, she would tell me to talk to the Lord. I know that she was trying to keep my faith up and my depression down. At first I was praying and talking to H im but after a while I just stopped. I know that I am okay now for the most part but I just hate being in hospitals. Laying in bed I think about everything that’s happened and realize that things have to go up from here. My eyes start drooping and I can’t keep them open any longer and I fall asleep.
As I’m signing my discharge papers my mother is bringing the car around to the patient pick-up area. The nurse helps me gather my things and loads me into a wheelchair as my mother texts me and says she’s down stairs. I’m wheeled down and put into the car with mostly the same instructions as the last time then we head to my home. I have more things this time so my mother carries some of my bags into the house while I slowly walk to the door and sit in the first chair I see once I get inside. That walk from the car to the house took a lot out of me. I’ll need to do more walking to build my strength but I am not allowed to do that just yet. After I sit for a while, I slowly get up and head to my room taking off my shirt and pants and climb into bed. I’ll get my mother to help me get into a nightgown or something later, but for now this is all I have the energy to do and within minutes of hitting the pillow I’m knocked out.
My wonderful sleep is interrupted by my phone going off and I check the text message to see that it’s my sister checking on me. I called her because texting would take too long and we talked for a while but she was on her lunch break so she eventually had to go. She told me that she would be by tomorrow to give my mother a break then we said goodbye and I laid back down. About an hour passed before my mother came into my room with a tray of food. Loaded potato soup and a bottle of water and the food smelled wonderful. My stomach growled and until that moment I hadn’t realized I was hungry. She helps me sit up then places the tray over me and sits in the armchair by my bed turning on my television.
“Mama you know you can sit in the bed with me. You’re probably one of few people that’s allowed.” I scoop some soup onto my spoon and blow on it before putting it in my mouth. Mmmm this tastes so good. She just looked at me and smiled as she found a movie to watch. We ended up looking at The Last Witch Hunter. It was a pretty good movie plus it doesn’t hurt that I love movies with Vin Diesel in them. I started yawning halfway through the movie and thought I had gone unnoticed but when it went off, she got up and took my tray and told me to get some sleep. For the first time since all this happened I didn’t argue with her and laid down until I passed out.
The next morning was a bit crazy when I woke up. There was yelling and I smelled food and coffee. What the hell is going on in my house? I distinctly heard a man’s voice and couldn’t really place it until I got out of bed and got closer to the living room. Oh my God! You have seriously got to be kidding me. Is this happening right now? Standing in my living room looking mad as hell was Darrell. He was shouting something at my sister and mother about them keeping him from me. He actually looked like he was ready to fight my sister who was going toe to toe with him. He’s lucky that she’s still talking because once she goes quiet his life will be in danger. My mother on the other hand looks like she’s praying as she’s trying to calmly talk to him. I’ve had enough of this and him and I’m going to put an end to it once and for all. I go back to my room and call 911 telling them the situation and that they will have a dead man on their hands if they don’t get here now. Then I go to my closet and find my safe and put in the code then pull out my gun and load it with one bullet because, not to toot my own horn but one is all I need. Slowly I walk back to the living room and call his name and when he turns I point the gun at his heart with a steady hand.
“I’ve told you that if you ever contact me in any way what would happen and obviously you didn’t listen. On top of all that, you’re in my house yelling at my sister and my mother. I don’t know how it works in your little world but I should shoot you right now just for yelling at my mother. I don’t care how you treat yours but you will respect mine. Oh and I saw you looking like you were going to hit my sister. Now that would be a mistake for more than one reason because if she wouldn’t kill you I would. I’m going to say this as nicely as I can cause the devil on my shoulder is telling me to end your life but I’m trying to listen to the angel on my right shoulder and let you make it this time. I want you to leave my home and forget my address. NEVER FUCKING COME HERE AGAIN! This is your last warning. The cops have been called and should be here any second to escort you out. I won’t be filing a restraining order because if you ever show up again, I’m shooting you on site. Now get out of my house.” Keeping the gun trained on him, I watch as he walks to the door and out into the hands of the waiting cops that conveniently showed up at the end of my speech. My sister and mother went out to talk to them and the minute the door closed I went for the chair that was close to me and hid the gun behind my back just in case they came inside. I have paperwork and everything so I wasn’t worried about that, but these days cops have itchy trigger fingers when it comes to non-white people and guns. I was recovering from surgery and in enough pain so getting shot is not an option. Now I have to remember to apologize for using that language in front of my mother but he had me heated. My mother is one thing I don’t play behind no matter how awful I’m feeling. Behind my mom anybody can get these hands or a bullet and that’s how it always will be until the day I die. They come back inside and I’m sitting with my eyes closed trying to relax but my eyes fly open when I hear a scream. When I open my eyes my sister is staring at me pointing at my stomach and my mother quickly leaves the room and goes to the bathroom then returns with gauze and bandages and other supplies. Finally I look down and notice that there’s blood all over the front of my nightgown. Damnit! Oh I just can’t catch a break. I must have moved too much.
After my mother patches me up and I’m no longer bleeding, we all sit down at the table and eat the breakfast that my mother cooked. I can’t have coffee but my mother made some for my sister. This is how my morning should have started. “So sis, you want to tell me who that guy was and why he seems to think that we’re keeping him from you?” I should have known that she wouldn’t let it go. My mother already knew about him but he wasn’t this bad when I told her that I didn’t think he’d be a problem.
“He’s someone that can’t seem to accept that I no longer want to be with and now he has it in his head that other people are keeping him from me. I’ll let the cops handle him.”
“He’s lucky I didn’t put my hands on him. I didn’t want to tear your stuff up though sis so I tried to stay calm.”
“Yeah I was very surprised that he wasn’t knocked out. I woke up because of all the screaming and yelling. He’s working my last nerve but today was the last straw. I’ll file a restraining order but I’ll need to find out if they can come here because I can’t move around right now.”
“I’ll call and see what we can do or just go and get the papers then you can fill them out and I’ll turn them in for you. I thought you said you weren’t going to file though.”
“I told him that because he seems to not hear me unless I’m threatening his life. He has more issues than I care to deal with and I want him gone not dead. Don’t get me wrong though, I meant what I said about him showing up here again. I don’t have time to be fighting and waiting on the cops to show up. Anything can happen in the time that it takes for them to get here and I won’t be a victim in my own home. If he shows up and I feel threatened I will not hesitate to take him out. Period. Now pass me the bacon please.”
They both just looked at me as my sister passed me the bacon and I ate happily. I gave them a smile as I started to yawn feeling myself getting tired again. Blood loss plus pain meds equals nap time for this woman. Once I finished my breakfast they helped me to my room and my mother checked my bandages before leaving. She said that she’d be back tonight but my sister told her to go home and she’d stay with me tonight. My mom kissed me on the forehead and told me to be good cause she isn’t bailing me out of jail. We all laughed and then she was gone. My sister sat in the armchair and we talked a little. I told her more than I would tell my mother about Darrell and she just shook her head and told me to be careful. I laid there and felt my eyes slowly starting to close and I heard her tell me to get my rest as she got up and walked out of my room closing my door.
In the middle of the night, I wake up to use the bathroom and after washing my hands and carefully getting back into bed I try and fail miserably to fall back asleep. Sitting up in my bed I turn on the television and flip through the channels finding nothing to watch so I cut on my dvd player to see what I was watching last and discover that I really don’t want to watch that either, so I cut it off. After a while I pick up my phone and go through my messages and call log then I go through my emails. I see some from my assistant and quickly answer her back knowing she’ll get them in the morning. Then I start playing all the games that I normally play until I’m either out of lives or bored and sit in silence with my phone on my lap. Leaning back against my pillows I stare at the ceiling wondering when my life got so complicated and boring. I made a vow to start going out more often and having fun after I finished healing. When I was just about to try to sleep again my phone lit up. It was a notification telling me that I had a restored life in one of my games so I opened it and played for a little longer until I killed that one too. Still not sleepy I scrolled through all the apps on my phone trying to find something to do when I see that game again. I go to uninstall it but instead I click on it and it begins to open. There’s music from the show and pictures that make the game seem really interesting and I decide to give it a try. One of the characters comes on and gives you instructions then and another one comes after to teach you something else and then a third one and finally I’m on my own. The rules of the game seem pretty simple. Stay alive. Okay how hard can that be when the goal of the game is to destroy one another. Did you note the sarcasm in my voice? I move around the game until I get the hang of it and then I start to get tired. Glancing at the time on my phone I can see why. I woke up around midnight to use the bathroom and now it is going on five in the morning. Granted I have nowhere to go but going to sleep this late will have me sleeping late tomorrow. First I close out of the game and then I put my phone on the charger on my nightstand and lie down. Once I’m comfortable I close my eyes and slowly drift off to sleep.
A month has passed and I’ve made plenty of new friends in the game. I have a couple that I would even call my best friends and one is a female. I’ve never been close to other women because I don’t trust them. They can be two-faced and catty and instead of lifting each other up they pull each other down. I don’t want to be a part of that negative energy.