Chapter 25

POV ALEJANDRA ZAVALA

If I weren't already in love with Ilya, seeing him surrounded by children would be my undoing.

It wasn't the first time, actually, because when we arrived and were introduced to everyone – or when he reconnected with people he already knew – I saw his fondness for the little ones, which he explained to me was customary, since he had taken care of his two younger siblings.

Ilya rarely talked about his family, but when he did, it was with so much affection. That made me think about how badly I had hurt him by separating them. Even though it hadn't been intentional, the guilt was mine, even if indirectly.

Especially for the girl, for whom he had a brotherly love that was obvious just by the way he spoke her name.

He had gone with me to the community daycare just to keep me company, but ended up staying there for an hour, even lying on the floor so the kids could climb on him, like he was a giant, cuddly bear.

I had never seen a smile like that on his face, even though he reserved a few smiles for me that he didn't share with anyone else.

Oh, and the kids loved him too. They pulled his hair and beard, laughed when he made funny faces, and even more when he picked them up and tossed them in the air, with strength and confidence.

It was enough to make anyone sigh.

He was still smiling when he came up to me, after checking the time, probably already late to meet Hunter for one of their top-secret Cosa Nostra missions.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked, serious again, but with a tender tone, his knuckles gently brushing my face.

I closed my eyes, feeling the affection.

"I'll be fine. Impossible not to be with all these cuties around." As soon as I said that, Ilya broke into a huge grin, shaking his head.

Then he did something unexpected: he tilted his head and kissed me, right in front of everyone. It was just a quick peck, but it was the first time he had made a public display of affection.

I didn't know exactly the nature of the work he did, if it was dangerous, but my heart tightened when I looked out the window and saw him getting on his motorcycle, accompanied by Hunter and one of the guys they had briefly introduced me to, but whose name I couldn't remember. Maybe Charlie.

Jordana came up to me, standing by my side, also leaning her arms on the window as we listened to the roar of the motorcycle carrying them away from us.

The guy – if that was really his name – looked over his shoulder and was the last to follow. With the helmet, it was hard to read his expression, but it didn't really matter.

"How do you deal with that? Not knowing if he's going to come back safely?" I asked, genuinely curious, with an open heart, wondering if her situation was much worse than mine, because Hunter was her son.

Ilya...

Well, Ilya wasn't mine at all.

Jordana smiled and shrugged.

"I had to get used to it. Hunter's always been a kid who lived life. He never stayed here for long. Since he got this job, it's the longest I've had him around. But something tells me he's still going to leave, you know? That this stability won't last."

"Why do you think that?"

"I know my kid. Caleb and him clash a lot because my husband wants Hunter to take over the business, to sit with him to look at files, understand more of the bureaucracy, and he doesn't want any of that. He doesn't want to inherit the leadership of the Wildfire, because that would tie him here forever."

"But Caleb's still really young." He couldn't be over fifty-five. He was still quite handsome, strong, making a perfect couple with his wife, who was also stunning.

"He won’t have to pass on the Motorcycle Club anytime soon."

"You never know when something might happen. In the world we live in, any day could be the last."

That hit me hard in the chest, and as she moved away, I took another look out the window, pondering my intuition, trying to understand what she meant.

I just knew something was wrong.

I tried to shake the thought away and refocus on the children, receiving instructions on what to do.

In their company, I quickly got caught up in the rhythm of the day and did what needed to be done. There were diapers changed, bottles fed, giggles, and cries. By the end of my shift, I already felt attached to all of them. And they to me.

I felt like I could stay there all day, and I even stalled a bit before leaving, because I didn’t want to go back home and spend my time thinking about Ilya's safety until he came back.

And honestly, I didn’t know when that would happen, because that kind of "work" didn’t have a set schedule.

I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning the house, even though everything was so clean it almost sparkled. I scrubbed the floors on my knees, dusted, did laundry, cooked for the week... and still no sign of him.

It was seven in the evening when Gillian knocked on my door, asking me to join her at Caleb's little bar.

It was kind of a hobby for him since his real business consisted of other things, but I had never been there. I thought it might be a good way to pass the time, so I agreed.

I just changed clothes since I had just taken a shower and left with her.

When we got there, I was led to the table where Jordana was already waiting for us, and they offered me the same drink they were having, a gin and tonic.

"Do you think it's normal for them to take so long? They've been out all day..." I asked Jordana, feeling my legs shake under the table from the nervousness I was feeling.

"There are times they take longer than this. Hunter's been gone for a week before."

"A week?" My voice went up an octave.

"But he let us know. It won't be the case today, especially since they didn't take anything but the clothes on their backs."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"One day, I'll be like you. Calm, and just wait."

"It's all we can do, dear." Jordana placed her hand on mine in a maternal way, giving a few pats.

An upbeat song – an old rock song, which was the most common music played there – started, and we changed the subject. Caleb came to sit with us, kissing his wife, and I had the chance to get to know him a little better.

He still looked at me with some suspicion, but he probably did that with any outsider. He was very protective of his community, and I imagined he had been through a lot, both outside the Wildfire and inside.

He stood up again, and I glanced at the clock on the wall, noticing it was already almost eleven at night. I decided to get up and go to the bathroom, and when I got there, I had to lean on the sink and take a deep breath, trying to control my thoughts.

I wasn’t cut out for that kind of life. I couldn’t imagine being the girlfriend – or wife... – of a man who put his life at risk all the time. Being the mother of someone like that... it must be unbearable.

Maybe it was better to go back home and hide under the covers. Maybe if I could sleep, time would pass faster...