Chapter 37: Shattered Bonds

Chapter 37: Shattered Bonds
The word hung in the air like a death sentence.

Everyone stared at me, and Mom’s hand tightened on my arm while Dad’s Alpha command faltered for just a second. Roslyn’s eyes went wide with shock, and Lucian looked like I’d just punched him in the stomach.

But it was Marcus’s face that broke something inside me.

The horror of what I’d just said crashed over me like a wave of ice water because my wolf had claimed Lucian, not Marcus. Lucian.

What the fuck did I just say?

I opened my mouth to take it back, to explain that it was a mistake, that my wolf was confused and angry and not thinking straight, but no words came out because deep down, some primal part of me knew she’d meant it. My wolf had looked at Lucian and recognized something I couldn’t understand, something that felt right to her even if it felt completely wrong to me.

Marcus stood frozen by the wall, and his grey eyes had gone completely blank, like he’d shuttered every emotion behind stone. But I could see it anyway, the devastation written in the set of his shoulders, the way his jaw clenched so hard I thought his teeth might crack. The pain was there, raw and terrible, even though he was trying so hard to hide it beneath layers of control.

Then he nodded once, sharp and final, and turned toward the door while my heart screamed at me to stop him.

“Marcus, wait…” The words tore from my throat, desperate and broken.

He paused with his hand on the door frame but didn’t turn around, and I watched his shoulders tense. “Congratulations,” he said, and his voice was so carefully controlled it made my chest ache with how much effort that control was costing him. “I hope you’re very happy together.”

“Please, this isn’t what I wanted, I don’t understand what’s happening to me…”

“It’s fine.” He cut me off, still not looking at me, still standing there like a statue. “Your wolf has chosen, and that’s how it works, right? The wolf knows better than we do.”

I could hear the bitterness underneath his words, the way his voice almost broke on the last sentence, and I knew what he’d been thinking. He’d been waiting for this moment, hoping that when my wolf came back she would choose him, would remember what we’d supposedly had together that summer. Instead, she’d claimed his brother right in front of him, destroying whatever hope he’d been holding onto.

“Marcus, please just listen to me for one second…”

“I’m glad you have your wolf back.” His voice was softer now, almost gentle despite the pain I knew he was feeling. “I really am, Chloe. That’s all I wanted for you, to be whole again.”

Then he walked out, and the sound of his footsteps echoing down the corridor was the loneliest thing I’d ever heard, each step taking him further away from me.

Dad released me from his Alpha command and I stumbled forward a step, wanting to chase after Marcus, to explain somehow even though I had no explanation to give. But what could I say? My wolf had spoken, and in our world, the wolf’s choice was sacred and binding.

I looked at Lucian and found him staring at me with an expression I couldn’t read, shock and guilt and confusion all mixing together on his face.

“Don’t,” he said quickly, holding up his hands like I might attack him again or declare something else equally devastating. “Don’t make any decisions right now, Chloe. You’re not thinking clearly, your wolf just came back after a year, everything is confused and overwhelming and you need time…”

“When?” I interrupted, and I hated how my voice broke on the word, hated the tears that were streaming down my face again. “When will I get my memories back? When will I understand what the hell is happening to me and why my wolf would do this?”

Lucian’s face fell, and the guilt in his eyes deepened into something that looked almost like pain as he watched me fall apart. “I don’t know, Chloe. I really don’t.”

“That’s not good enough.” I took a step toward him, and he backed up instinctively like he was afraid of what I might do. “You’re the healer, you created the formula, you have to know something about how this works.”

“Chloe, I’m sorry, but I really don’t know when or if your memories will return.” He ran a hand through his dark hair, and for the first time since I’d met him, he looked completely lost and uncertain. “The memories might come back gradually as your wolf settles in and becomes more stable. Or they might come back all at once in a rush when something triggers them. Or…”

“Or what?” I demanded, needing to hear him say it even though I already knew.

He met my eyes, and I saw the truth there before he even said it, saw the sorrow in his expression. “Or they might be gone forever. The damage from the poison was severe, and some things can’t be undone no matter how much we want them to be. You need to be prepared for that possibility, Chloe.”

The words hit me like a physical blow, stealing the breath from my lungs. Everything I’d been fighting for, everything I’d suffered through, and I might never get those memories back anyway. I might never know who I really mostly was before the attack, what Marcus and I had meant to each other, what promise we’d made that was important enough for someone to try to kill me over.

“I’m sorry,” Lucian said again, and he sounded like he genuinely meant it, like my pain was hurting him too. “I wish I had better answers for you. I wish I could promise you everything would work out.”

Then he left too, walking away with his shoulders hunched like he was carrying the weight of the world on them. The door clicked shut behind him, and suddenly the room felt too big and too empty, like all the air had been sucked out.

I stood there trying to process everything, trying to make sense of a world that had just turned completely upside down in the span of a few minutes. My wolf was back, which should have been a moment of pure joy and celebration. Instead, I’d hurt Marcus in the worst possible way and created some kind of bond with Lucian that I didn’t understand and definitely didn’t want.

“Miss Chloe?” Roslyn’s soft voice broke through my thoughts.

I turned to find her standing a few feet away, still holding her healing arm against her chest, and she looked nervous like she wasn’t sure if she should speak or stay quiet.

“I know this is not the right time but in have something to tell you,” she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. “About Fiona, I think you should know that she…”

But before she could finish, we heard footsteps in the corridor outside, quick and light footsteps that I recognized even before the scent hit me. Roslyn must have smelled her too because she went quiet immediately, her words dying on her lips.

The door opened and Fiona walked in.

She stopped just inside the doorway, taking in the scene with those sharp blue eyes of hers, and I watched her gaze move from me standing in the middle of the room with tears on my face to Mom hovering nearby looking worried to the tension that hung in the air like smoke. Our eyes met across the room, and I saw something flicker in her expression, fear maybe, or awkwardness, or some combination of the two.

She opened her mouth like she might say something, might finally break the silence that had stretched between us for days since I’d kissed Lucian and destroyed whatever trust we’d had.

Then she closed it again and turned away without a single word.

“Fiona, wait!” Dad called after her, already moving toward the door.

But she was already gone, her footsteps quick as she hurried back down the corridor like she couldn’t get away from me fast enough.

Something inside me snapped at that, something that had been holding on by a thread.

She hadn’t been here when I’d needed her most over these past few days, and now she just walked in and left again like I didn’t matter, like everything between us didn’t matter?

“Damn it!” The words burst out of me, sharp and angry and hurt all at once. “She can’t even look at me for more than five seconds? Can’t even stay in the same room?”

Dad went after her, calling her name as he disappeared into the hallway, and I could hear his voice getting fainter as he tried to convince her to come back, to talk to me, to stop running away.

But I knew she wouldn’t because Fiona was good at running when things got difficult, and I’d given her plenty of reasons to run.

Mom crossed the room and pulled me into her arms, and I let myself collapse against her because all the strength I’d been holding onto just drained away, leaving me empty and exhausted. “She was worried about you, sweetheart,” Mom said softly, stroking my hair the way she used to when I was little. “She’s been asking about you constantly, checking with the guards, waiting outside your door when she thought no one was watching. She just doesn’t know how to face you after whatever happened between you two.”

I wanted to scream that it wasn’t my fault, that I hadn’t asked for any of this chaos. But the words stuck in my throat because maybe it was my fault, maybe if I’d been more careful, if I’d pushed Lucian away when things got weird between us, none of this would have happened and Fiona wouldn’t hate me now.

“Roslyn?” I pulled back from Mom and looked at my maid, who was still standing there awkwardly like she didn’t know if she should stay or go. “What were you going to tell me about Fiona before we got interrupted?”

Something passed across her face, quick and uncertain, and I watched her debate with herself for a moment. Then she shook her head and said, “It’s nothing important, Miss Chloe. Just that she’s been worried about you, that’s all.”

I knew she was lying because I could see it in the way her eyes shifted away from mine, the way her fingers twisted together nervously like they always did when she was keeping something from me. But I was too tired to push right now, too overwhelmed by everything else to care about one more secret piled on top of all the others.

“Okay,” I said, even though it wasn’t okay at all.

A thought occurred to me then, something that had been bothering me since the moment my wolf came back and everyone had gasped. “Mom? Why were my eyes white instead of gold? Marcus said they were glowing white when my wolf surfaced.”

Mom’s expression turned thoughtful, and she exchanged a look with Roslyn before answering, like they were silently discussing whether to tell me the truth. “I’m not entirely sure, sweetheart. I’ve never seen anything like it before in all my years. Gold eyes are normal for Alphas when they shift, red for regular pack members when their wolves come forward. But white?” She shook her head slowly, and I could see the concern in her green eyes. “We’ll have the healers examine you in the morning, make sure everything is alright and that the treatment didn’t have any unexpected side effects.”

“Do you think something’s wrong with me?” Fear crept into my voice despite my attempt to sound calm, because what if the treatment had done something to me, changed me in ways we didn’t understand?

“No, no, darling.” Mom squeezed my hands tight, trying to reassure me. “I think you’re extraordinary, and I always have. But it wouldn’t hurt to make sure the treatment didn’t have any unexpected side effects that we need to address.”

I nodded, trying to ignore the worry that gnawed at my stomach like a living thing. White eyes, a wolf that claimed the wrong mate, memories that might never come back. Everything about this felt wrong somehow, like pieces of a puzzle that didn’t quite fit together no matter how hard I tried to force them.

“How does she feel now?” Mom asked gently, her voice pulling me back from my spiraling thoughts. “Your wolf, I mean.”

I turned my attention inward, reaching for that presence that had been missing for so long, and she was there waiting for me. She was still angry about what had happened to us, but calmer now than before, like Dad’s Alpha command had helped settle some of that wild rage. The fury had settled into something more like resentment, simmering beneath the surface but no longer threatening to explode and take control.

“She’s there,” I said, and despite everything that had gone wrong, I felt tears of relief building again. “She’s still angry about what happened to us, about being locked away and cut off for a whole year. But she’s not trying to take over anymore, not fighting me for control.”

“What else can you feel?” Mom prompted, seeming genuinely curious.

“Everything.” I laughed, but it came out watery and broken. “I can smell so much more than before, Mom. I can pick up scents from three corridors away. I can hear conversations happening in different parts of the castle. I feel stronger, faster, like I’ve been moving through water my whole life and someone finally let me breathe air.” I looked down at my hands, flexing my fingers and marveling at the strength I could feel there. “I forgot how slow I was before, how weak everything felt. Now it’s like coming home to a body I didn’t know I’d been missing.”

Mom pulled me close again, and I felt her shoulders shake with silent sobs as she held me. “I’m so glad you have her back, sweetheart. So glad you’re whole again after all this time.”

We stood there holding each other while Roslyn quietly slipped out of the room, giving us the privacy we needed, and I was grateful for that. Grateful for a moment to just feel without worrying about who was watching or what they thought.

But even as relief washed through me at having my wolf back, even as I reveled in the feeling of being complete again for the first time in a year, the problems I’d created loomed large in my mind like mountains I didn’t know how to climb.

My wolf was back, but she’d claimed Lucian as my mate instead of Marcus, and I had no idea why or what that meant for any of us. The man I was starting to have real feelings for was now devastated and hurt, while his brother was tied to me by a bond neither of us wanted or understood.

I might never get my memories back, might never know who I really was before the attack or what Marcus and I had meant to each other in that summer I couldn’t remember.

Someone inside the pack was still working against us, turning people into weapons, attacking when we were most vulnerable, and we were no closer to figuring out who.

And Fiona couldn’t even look at me anymore without running away.

I pulled back from Mom and wiped my eyes, trying to gather the pieces of myself back together even though I felt like I was falling apart. “What do I do now, Mom?”

“You rest, darling,” Mom said firmly, her Luna voice coming through. “You’ve been through more than anyone should have to endure in one day, and your body needs time to recover. Everything else can wait until tomorrow when you’re stronger.”

But I knew tomorrow would bring its own complications, its own problems that I’d have to face. Tomorrow I’d have to deal with Marcus and see the pain in his eyes when he looked at me. Tomorrow I’d have to figure out what this mate bond with Lucian meant and what I was supposed to do about it when I didn’t want it. Tomorrow I’d have to try to fix things with Fiona somehow, if that was even possible anymore.

All I wanted right now was peace, just a few hours where I didn’t have to think about wolves and mates and conspiracies and broken relationships. But peace, I was learning, was a luxury I couldn’t afford anymore, not with everything that was happening.

My wolf stirred inside me, restless and uncertain about everything, and she pushed an image at me, a feeling of rightness when she thought about Lucian. She’d found her mate, or so she thought, and she couldn’t understand why I wasn’t happy about it.

But as I stood there in the healing chamber with my mother’s arms around me, I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d made a terrible mistake that would cost us everything.

And if she had, how was I supposed to fix it when I didn’t even understand what had gone wrong?