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ChapterForty-FourSitting down, I try to do as Andrei asks with his
deep, focused breathing, but it is hard to stifle my giggles when I can hear
him breathing deeply. I am waiting for him to break out in a shaman dance.
Cracking an eye open, I find his eyes closed as he takes this very seriously.
He looks hilarious, especially for someone his size, sitting cross-legged with
his back straight. Meditation was never my thing, so I found it pointless.
Still, I try to be a good sport and close my eyes.I lose track of time
as we sit there. The sun makes me sweat profusely while he tells me to search
for my mind's eye or some whacked voodoo crap. Fur brushes my arm, and I open
my eyes to find Maddox sitting beside me with his head cocked to the side as he
watches Andrei.Maddox's deep voice
flits through my head. “What is he doing?”“No
idea,” I answer, glancing to my side. Mateo is lying on his side on the
grass with his head propped on his hand. I try not to laugh. He cleans his
apple on his shorts before biting into it loudly. Although the crunch of his
crisp green apple might have just sounded crazy loud compared to Andrei’s deep
breathing. Andrei slowly opens his eyes before glaring at Mateo.“What? Just watching
you do your weird panting, just pretend I'm not here,” Mateo suggests, sending
him a wink.“It’s called
meditation.”“You call it
meditation. I call it panting like a heifer, but please continue. The ladies
love you panting over the top of them like that.” Mateo nods to himself, and
Andrei growls at him. However, Mateo is unfazed by him and continues eating his
apple.Andrei turns and
glances over at Maddox. He chuckles, shaking his head, “Seriously, Ezra, I mean
her no harm. You can shift back. I am not going to attack my sister.”“That's Maddox, not
Ezra. Maddox hasn’t given him control back, not after Kat turned demonic. I
tried to ring you, but you never answered your damn phone,” Mateo lectures.“What do you mean,
Kat turned demonic?” Andrei questions, brows furrowing, and I also turn to
stare at him, wondering what Mateo is talking about.“Kat, she…” Mateo
looks at me worriedly while I wait for him to explain. “She lost it, became
angry, and she almost seemed insane.”I jerked to
attention at what he said. He sounded insane! I have no memory of anything
happening after we left the meeting.“Ezra had to mark
her again to subdue her, and then Maddox took over and came home last night
drenched in blood after he killed some shit and one of our patrollers.”“What? You killed
someone? Maddox, please give Ezra back control,” I plead, looking at Maddox,
but he gets up and walks away with a huff. He doesn't seem angry, in fact, I
can’t feel anything emotion-wise coming from him at all.“So it's already
happening,” Andrei muses. I twist around, eyes studying him. He looks past me
into the trees, deep in thought.“What’s happening?”
Both Mateo and I ask at the same time.“Jinx,” Mateo
chuckles, and I roll my eyes at him.Andrei sighs before
turning his attention back to us. “The madness comes with being a Gemini. You
need to get her to shift. It might help. Any time she heals someone, it will
get worse. The last Gemini wolf killed his mates by accident, then killed himself."“The journals said
they died, never said anything about him killing them,” I whisper, my thoughts
swirling like a painful whirlwind.“Yeah, well, I have
Josiah's actual journal, plus another that belonged to one of his mates. Every
time he healed someone, his behavior became erratic, but even before he first
shifted after becoming what he was, his mates spoke of him sleepwalking and his
anger being explosive, his behavior erratic. After he killed his mates, his
journal was nearly unreadable, his thoughts manic as he went completely insane.
Some of the things I found said that a Gemini wolf's mates could take the
darkness that comes with being a Gemini. Share it if you will. That must be why
Maddox took over when Ezra marked you, the madness that was in you transferred
to him.”“So I will go
insane?” I ask horrified. I'd thought I was free of the curse, that Kora's
sacrifice had broken it. Not that I was given a new one.“Not necessarily, as
long as you don’t bring back the dead, it should be manageable, plus we have
all different medications that can help these days. Back then, they didn’t have
mood stabilizers or know what to call schizophrenia or different mental illnesses.
We have resources to help these things in today's day and age. But yes, every
time you heal someone, it takes a piece of you, taking the death from them.
That would be enough to send anyone mad, Kat, so stay away from dead people.
But for you to heal someone, or bring them back from the dead, you have to kill
someone to harbor that level of healing ability, life for life essentially.
Small things are fine like a wound or whatever, but to heal someone dead or
critically injured that will always mean killing someone else.”“Well, I don't plan
on bringing someone back from the dead or killing anyone,” I snap.“Then you should be
fine with your mate's help, but you need to shift. It helps because once you
do, you can recharge off the moon, kind of like you did when you were a lunar
healer. It'll keep you strong, and your mind strong too.“I don’t get it, how
do you know so much?” I question.“Anthony, you should
meet him some time. That’s why your father came to my territory. He thought
Anthony had something to do with your mother's death, but in fact, it was me. I
needed those scrolls from Jackson to put the final pieces together,” Andrei adds
nonchalantly. I get up at his words, but he puts his hands up, pointing to the
grass. “Please let me explain before you turn homicidal.”I sit back down,
deciding to hear him out, he has given us more information than anyone so far.
But it doesn’t mean I trust him, not yet.“I know what I did
to help Jackson was wrong, Kat. But your family has a lot of secrets. You have
only seen them in a certain light, it's only now that you are learning who they
really are. Eventually, you will learn to trust no one, not even me. My intentions
are good right now, but people change, Kat, I do mean it when I say I mean you
no harm, and I can’t see a reason for me wanting to go against you, but
remember, everyone has a tipping point, something they will kill for. Don’t
trust anyone, only your mates. Secrets get people killed. You will learn that,
one way or another.”I thought about his
words and nodded. "You're right, Andrei. Secrets are exactly what keep
getting people killed around me. So spill yours. Why do you want my
venom?"“Nothing to do with
you, Kat, but if you must know. I want it for Jackson. Anthony raised me, and
after knowing what he did to my stepfather and my mother, I want revenge, but
that is all I will tell you.”Maddox pads back,
sitting on the grass, while I ponder his words. All this talk of secrets makes
me think of the biggest one I am keeping from my mates, that our future may not
mean Mateo is in it. Would telling them alter the future events that the Moon
Goddess gave me?“He is a big fucker?
Isn’t he? Looks even more enormous when he isn’t trying to kill someone,”
Andrei observes, staring at Maddox as he tries to sit across my lap. Andrei
chuckles at him while I try to shove him off, embarrassed at his behavior, Ezra
would be horrified seeing Maddox act like a clingy pup in front of another
Alpha.“Funny how much like
animals they truly are, our wolves are lethal, but only our mates can make them
act like that, Donnie is always on the lookout for his, becomes quite annoying
at times. But just like Maddox, he would kill without hesitation just like I
would.”I push him off only
for Maddox to crush Mateo. I shake my head at his behavior.“Just like the
darkness, there is a peak, then they crash, that's why he is like that. One
extreme or another, you will find your moods will be the same. One minute you
will be clingy like he is being right now, seeking comfort, the next you will
want to kill them,” Andrei observes while we watch Maddox lay on Mateo’s back,
Mateo tries to roll out from under him, only for Maddox to start licking his
face and neck. Andrei shakes his head at him and laughs to himself. It did look
rather funny, considering Maddox usually only came forward when he wanted to
hurt someone.“I have the scrolls
in my car, you can have them, but it tells you nothing I haven't already said,
but if you can find an interpreter, you are more than welcome to have them,”
Andrei offers.“Yes, that would be
good,” Mateo chokes out as Maddox mauls him with his heavy body, rubbing
himself all over him like a cat.“Don’t suppose you
know how long he will be like that for?” I question with a barely suppressed
giggle.“The fact he appears
to be coming down from what he took from you? I say a few more hours, and he
will shift back, he seems calm, though. Is he speaking to you in the mindlink?”
Andrei asks, and I nod. “Then he should return soon. Maddox is running off instinct
and blocking the human part out of him. Ezra will be fine, but it would be best
if you shift soon, it won’t be as bad next time. I should head off, but if you
want to follow me to my car, I will give you those scrolls. I will come back
tomorrow. It is getting a bit hot out here anyway,” Andrei says, hopping up off
the grass.I follow him to the
car, and Maddox jumps off Mateo to prance after me. He tries to grab my hand in
his mouth and tug me back.Andrei hands me the
scrolls before stepping forward and hugging me, sending me into shock. “Always
wanted a sister,” he chuckles before climbing into his car. He honks his horn
on the way out, and I wave to him before he disappears."I can honestly
say Andrei isn't that bad," Mateo announces as he approaches from behind,
his arms wrap around my waist and his chin rests on my shoulder. Maddox keeps
trying to put his head up my shirt.Angie pulls up just
as we are about to turn around and go inside. Mateo groans, not wanting any
more visitors.Angie hops out
anyway before pausing. “Hey,” she shyly greets, approaching us. She eyes Maddox
worriedly, but he is paying her no attention. Instead, he is trying to grab
Mateo’s arm again. Mateo lets me go with a quick kiss to my temple and calls
Maddox after him as he heads inside, and I shake my head at them.“What are you doing
here?” I ask her, turning and heading for the house.“Nothing just came
to drop this off, I was volunteering down at the funeral home, told the
director I would drop it in for her to save her the drive.” She takes a breath
and hands me a document.I open it and find a
death certificate, my eyes flit over it as I try to absorb the information.
“This is the man Maddox killed last night?”“Yes, he was only
new to the pack, no family, so that makes it a little easier, but dad said he
was a nice man, just in the wrong place at the wrong time,” Angie sighs before
sniffing the air. “Ezra just needs to sign it and drop it in.”I nod before sighing
myself, I still can’t believe Maddox killed someone, Ezra always said his pack
was family, and it sucks that because of me, he killed one of them.“Well, I will see
you tomorrow.” Angie turns to go when she sniffs the air again, cocking her
head to the side. “Did you buy a new perfume or something?” she asks and I
scrunch up my eyebrows.“No, I smell of
sweat. I have been outside all day.”She shakes her head
with an odd look on her face. “You just smell nice,” she comments before
walking to her car.“Wait,” I tell her,
and she stops.“Can I sign this?” I
held up the document.“Yes, it just needs
to be signed off by an Alpha, you are one, so I think it would be alright,” she
says before opening her car door and rummaging through her glove box. She hands
me a pen.I sign, hoping if I
do, Ezra won’t feel too bad when he comes back and realizes what Maddox did,
maybe he won’t even remember. I lean on her car window and sign my name when
Angie sniffs me again and I look at her over my shoulder.Her face is barely
an inch from mine. “Sorry, you just smell different, so I don’t know, but you
smell nice,” she notes, looking at me oddly. I hand her the paper, and she gets
in her car before driving off.I thought her
behavior was odd, she has never sniffed me like that, and all I can smell is my
mates and the lingering scent of Andrei when he hugged me goodbye, but other
than that, I smelt the same, only sweaty “Hmm,” I
think.