Chapter 46 — Foreign Feelings

"Tantalus, wake up!" Dark urged, shaking his shoulders vigorously. Why the hell she cared, she didn't know. What she did know was that fear prickled the back of her neck. Gritting her teeth, she forced anger over whatever else was trying to surface.

Idiotic, self-absorbed, grumpy…her thoughts trailed off as she laid a hand on his forehead. What if she couldn't get him to snap out of it? She remembered what it was like for Angel to read one of the volumes. As an immersive dreamscape, Tantalus could be witnessing anything. What if he was being hurt? Dark assumed he could probably handle himself in a dream world…couldn't he? Far older than she was, far more used to using his powers…Tantalus should have been able to pull himself out.

She blew a frustrated breath. Angel would lose it even more than she already had if Dark left him…sure she might have hated Tantalus when she swapped places with Dark, but Dark also knew Angel was a bleeding heart…As if to further her panic, the god grunted, face twisting in some kind of pain. Shit, should she go get Apollo? Pearl? She couldn't stomach the idea of asking for help. Fuck that. So, whatever the cost, she'd have to figure this out herself.

He groaned again, a thin sheen of sweat breaking out across her palm where it touched his brow. She put two fingers to his pulse, which kicked aggressively against her hand. Racing heart, sweat, groaning. Fuck, she didn't understand emotions, but she understood pain. Asteria made sure of it.

She yelled a combination of commands ranging from ‘let the book go!’ to ‘wake the hell up!’ but he didn't respond to anything. She smacked his face. Pushed his chest. Jostled his arms. Still nothing. Minutes were passing with no improvement. Dark ran her hands through her short hair, pursing her lips. What the fuck was she supposed to do now?

Stupid god. Stupid handsome face. He shivered again, bucking his hips, a strangled sound escaping his lips. Shit. She needed to do something, and fast. Dark could curse him out later for being a pain in her ass when he was back in one piece.

Laying Tali flat on the stone ground, she crawled over him so she could look directly into his face. On all fours over top of him, Dark gripped his clammy cheeks with her hands. That skin-to-skin connection sent ripples of warmth through her, but she shook it away. Running through her list of powers, Dark tried to figure out what would work to pull him back without hurting him. Nothing seemed to fit. That only left temptation. The one power in her arsenal she didn't really know how to use to its full capability and, of course, it was the only one he would definitely respond to.

Asteria hadn't taught her how to use it while they trained in hell, probably didn't know how to teach her because Tali didn't seem like the type to let anyone in on his innermost secrets. And Tantalus had only brought it out in Angel naturally. Like a call and answer. When he'd tempt her, she'd feel the power swell in response. That's how Dark knew how to force attraction. That required little finesse, and she'd learned on the fly with Imeros how to manipulate a willing brain.

She always felt like she operated best under pressure. But that had been a conscious, willing mind. Imeros wanted his memory wiped. There was no difficulty in him following her commands. Coaxing Tali to respond to her on an unconscious level was a different task altogether. And a different facet of the power as well. It would have to be subtle—something she wasn't really known for.

Blowing out a centering breath, Dark tried to imagine what she wanted. "Release the book. Come back to me." She repeated the words and visualized smoke moving from her mouth down to his. She imagined his mouth opening a crack, a heavy inhale to receive the smoke and let it fill his lungs, consuming her words like air. Dark visualized heat spreading along her fingers, bending him to her will, molding his body to her command. She imagined him wanting to be soothed by her—Imagined his body humming with want and desire to do as she said. Dark closed her eyes and let her powers flow. Something was certainly happening because she could feel warmth twisting in her veins. But she couldn't be sure he would respond to it.

She hissed as the heat built between them, raising the hairs all over her body. She wanted friction, wanted to feel—No. Gritting her teeth, she forced herself to ignore her own desires. What was she in heat? Surely, she could manage this without thinking about sex. Dark pushed the sensations away. She was better than this. Trying to keep her body focused on bringing Tantalus back, Dark worked to break his connection to the book.

Her hands slid down along his lean, firm chest. She forced herself to ghost over his skin and continue to his hands, ignoring the rest. She clutched the book and pulled. Immediately, it tugged free and flew to the side with the force, slamming closed against the nearest book stack. Ha! She didn't need that jackass's help. Dark's eyes snapped open to see Tantalus already staring at her, his expression hard and pained but the shadow of a smirk on his handsome face. He was alright. He was…laughing at her? And panting as if all his nerves were on edge. His pupils were wide, his nostrils flared slightly.

As if he couldn't hold his tongue any longer, Tali let a rough, barking laugh tumble out. He looked startled, as if he hadn't heard that sound in a long time. Maybe he hadn't.

"Were you—" Dark started studying his composure, "You sack of shit, were you pretending?!" She smacked his chest hard enough to echo in the room and pushed backward, purposefully gliding over his hard pelvis before she got up. She almost laughed herself from relief until she remembered that he'd actually made her scared. That took all the good humor right out of her. And replaced it with flame.

He laughed, "You're mad"—said it like it was ridiculous. Like he hadn't expected it.

"Of course I'm mad!" Dark spat, the world turning a startling shade of red in her eyes.

"Apologies, but how else was I going to get you grinding on me, trying to 'tempt' me to death. Part of me didn't think you'd actually fall for it. I had to work hard to make myself sweaty," he made a mischievous face, "I had to think of you…"

Dark's face flushed and suddenly she wanted to use her lightning just to wipe that stupid grin off his face. Her palms itched. She'd been sitting there trying to fight her natural instincts to leave him to fend for himself while he'd been giving into them in order to trick her? What an asshole. Maybe all their bad luck with men wasn’t entirely Angel’s fault. Dark, for all her good sense, actually thought the god of temptation was a catch…until she met him.

"I was genuinely worried, you bastard," she swiped a kick at his ribs, which he dodged, and turned back towards the stacks. She wished she could take the admission back because she sounded weak. Soft. Reminding her of the things Hades said last night, the wobbling she’d felt this morning sat heavily on her chest. The strange lightness she felt when she thought of him sleeping heavily when she left…

It took him a moment, but finally, Tantalus moved to sit up. Dark pretended to be too lost in her own thoughts to notice. "It didn't work, by the way," He stood, brushing off his tapered pants and dress shirt.

Dark only grunted and returned to the book spines, looking for the ones about Tartarus. She didn't care to hear his elaboration.

"The temptation?" Tantalus continued. She watched him study her figure from the corner of her eye and thought about giving him the finger. But she'd already admitted too much and that would only serve to show he’d gotten under her skin. Just like with Hades, Tantalus had a way of forcing her guard down. Making her feel things she didn't want to feel. It was a weakness. And even though Hades had calmed her and convinced her there was nothing wrong with being vulnerable with Tali, she hated it. Dark felt like he was always in control of himself, and it made her slip up all that more embarrassing.

"And? What's your point? I never learned how to fully use it," she snapped back, busying herself with the volumes, "Anything I know, I taught myself."

"I know," he admitted with an edge, as if she'd accused him of something. "I could teach you, though. Not now…it's not the kind of thing one should learn in the open, but…I'll show you how to be subtle…if you want."

"How magnanimous of you," she drawled, tugging a volume free. Before she could open it, Tantalus stepped around and placed a hand over the lid. She snatched it out of his grip.

"I was just trying to tease you," his eyes probed her face as if to make sense of her emotions, "I didn't think you would care. You always say you don't care…"

"If you can't be helpful, can you at least be quiet?" she snapped, letting the anger be a cover for the unpleasant things rolling around in her head.

"I can be both," he snapped back, defensive. "I'm just offering to help you figure your shit out so you don't embarrass yourself." A cool look, a distanced smile, and Dark wanted to make him eat his words.

She smiled wide enough for him to see her teeth, "Noted. Now get the fuck out of my way."

When she turned back to the volumes, Tantalus sighed heavily, "Look. This isn't going the way I thought it would."

"And how was it supposed to go, tempter?" Dark called him Apollo's nickname just to piss him off. "Was I supposed to bring you back from the edge using my feminine wiles?"

"No one says feminine wiles…"

"I thought you said you could be helpful and quiet. Which one are you attempting now?" She slid a book out for emphasis.

He gripped the side of her face, pulling her close enough that only the volume pressed between them.

"I don't understand, Dark," he whispered, surprisingly gentle. It almost caught her off guard.

"You don't get what? Why you're an asshole? Why I don't want your help? Why I want you to shut the fuck up?"

Dark felt her eyes shifting, felt her insides burning, cheeks stinging. She would rather die than admit she felt embarrassed.

"You should hate me," he blurted, his voice gruff and angry. Almost like he was accusing her of…what? Not having the decency to hate him? Despite the sense that he wanted to make amends, Tantalus’ voice seemed cold and detached as he said, "You should be happy when I'm hurting. You should be glad to see me in pain. Not scared for me. Not trying to help me. Not coming to find me in the abandoned ruins…I don't know what to do with your compassion."

Compassion…her? She almost laughed, except she was already poised to fight. She realized then how truly shocked he must have felt to see her come for him in the ruins. Not only because he thought she was dead, but because he assumed she wouldn't have wanted to find him, even if she were alive. She opened her lips, but he dragged his thumb over them to keep them closed, "It…gods, I can't tell you what it does to me to know that you…" he bit the rest of his words off in a rare vulnerable moment. "Nevermind."

"Say it." It was meant to be neutral, but the words came out like a dare. Tali's eyes narrowed. Unsure of why she found herself desperate to hear how he felt, Dark shrugged. Emotions, the very things she hated, were something he didn't share. Ever. So, this…it was new, and that was intriguing, probably dangerous too.

He cleared his throat, "To know that you feel things…for me…because no matter what I've done to numb it or forget it or convince myself that loving you is selfish and sick and cruel for all the things I've done to you…I still feel for you so fiercely I think I'm going to rip in two. And I can't stop. I can't even though I've tried."

Dark's mouth dropped open. She didn't know what to say back to that. To the pain that his roughened voice seemed to summon from a distant part of her mind. It made her skin clammy and drawn. Her heart sped up. Emotions weren't either of their strong suits and they had shared too many. She really just wanted to fuck, fight or flee. Anything to banish the feelings…

Tali leaned in, "It doesn't hurt that I dream about fucking you on a near-constant basis." That was the god she knew. That was familiar. Pushing him away, Dark went back to the research.

"Well, if you can manage to be helpful and silent, who knows what the future might hold for you."

Relegating Tali's emotions to a topic for later, Dark opened the book. "Show me the first monster held in Tartarus."

The book opened a memory so fast and jarring, Dark instinctively reached her hands out to brace on the stacks, only to find nothing but open air. And darkness. It ebbed and moved around her in a strange afterglow. As if there was just enough light for Dark to know the night was tangible. Suddenly, a slithering sound pulled to the left. She spun, met with only more strange night and a thumping sound like a strange sort of wings. Something membranous that dragged raggedly against the stone ground.

Gods, she wasn't prone to fear, but this prickled under her skin now like a sludge. A hiss had her spinning around only to find nothing but swirling darkness. The loud scrape of a talon or a claw came next, bristling her. She backed away, though Dark knew she had no idea if she was moving closer or further from the sound.

She hit a wet, slimy body that promptly slithered away. A ragged curse escaped as the smoky night billowed in its wake. Then Dark saw the lick of fire, a small puff of flame that lit the mist once. Then again, and again and again, until dozens of puffing flames were lighting up the rocky crevice. She barely had time to recognize the underworld before she saw the monstrous thing flaming before her. Too many dragon heads all threading from the same well-built body of a man. She screamed. Shook violently, her heart thundering in her chest as she slipped to her butt, scooting along the stones and sand. She needed to get away. She needed to—

Dark noticed the smaller figure moving alongside the dragon monster. A woman's body, gentle and lithe but where the head should have been, a hundred snakes bloomed from her shoulders. They coiled and hissed loudly, snapping out at Dark until the most gut-churning scream ripped through her chest.

Then she was ripped away from the image, pulled by a white searing heat that bled all the way to her bones. She hardly composed herself before she was tugged into a fiery embrace.

"Shush," a warm, breathy voice said. Tantalus, she realized. Her mind scrambled to put itself back together.

"What the hell happened in there? Were you acting scared to make me feel worse…or get back at me?" Again, with the childish accusations.

Dark glared at him, shaking out of his embrace, "I'm really regretting bringing you."

She leaned back, looking for the book so she could see what to call those monsters. The book lay on the ground, open to her and at the top of the page, in an elegant script read: Typhon & Echidna. She shivered.