Chapter 66 HATCHETS
WILLA’S POV
I was sore, and it bloody ached to even walk. But I gritted my teeth and managed to do things I wanted to do. After all, I could be quite stubborn.
I took a quick hot shower, cladded myself in my most comfortable set of plaid pajamas, and mechanically did my nightly routine. Right after, I prepared my bed for the nesting and neatly arranged the ceremonial robes of my family in a way that would cosily cocoon the twins.
I moved and puttered about almost mechanically, yet everything I did was with a dogged purpose of making myself busy so I could chase away the humiliation from earlier that clung to me like a second skin.
Then I went to give Calisto and Gillian a warm sponge bath and slipped them into their favorite sleepwear, before finally moving them to my room.
I joined them on the king-size bed, lying down on my side beside Gillian and holding Calisto’s alarmingly cold hand.
Wolf ears had sprouted on their heads and their once cute nails had morphed into little but sharp claws. It wouldn’t be long before their entire hands became tiny wolf paws.
The thought brutally squeezed my lungs and heart, causing me to choke out a barely audible whimper.
“I’m here, love,” I whispered. “Mommy is here. And I’m so, so, so, sorry. I’m really sorry, Cal. I’m really sorry, Gil. Mommy didn’t mean to reject you. I truly didn’t.”
I sniffed as the dam broke. Salty tears stung my eyes, and they ceaselessly rolled down, creating a wet spot on the pillow beneath my head.
“I wish I could take it back. I wish…”
A sob wracked my body, and I could only burrow myself closer to my daughter as I selfishly thought, ‘I wish I didn’t meet your father again. I wish everything could just go back to how it was. Just the three of us.’
“I’m sorry,” I murmured quietly before letting myself succumb to sleep.
Wakefulness returned to me several hours later, and I couldn’t help but note how it was still too early. The weak first rays of the sun spilling through the glass windows and the semi-thin fabric of the curtains were the only indicators I needed to know that it was still daybreak.
“Ugh,” I groaned as I snuggled closer to Gillian, pressing the lower half of my face against the silky strands of her red hair.
“Wake up, Willa.”
The simple statement had my eyes snapping open, and the last threads of sleepiness in my mind were ripped apart so abruptly.
I glared at Gallahan, knowing it probably didn’t hold much weight due to my messy bed hair and sleep-ladened eyes.
Meanwhile, Gallahan looked unfairly put together as he sat beside Calisto’s unconscious form, his back resting against the headboard and his legs outstretched in front of him under the blanket.
He had been careful enough in joining the nest, leaving the meticulously arranged pillows, quilts, and the specific articles of clothing untouched and perfectly intact.
I also couldn’t help but notice how cosy he looked in the set of pajamas that…
Oh, Sarina bloody Welby.
The sneaky witch had created an exact twin of what I was currently wearing, leaving me and Gallahan to match like a sappy, lovey-dovey couple.
“You and I need to have a talk,” Gallahan said in a tone that left no room for any argument, stirring me out of my thoughts.
He seemed completely unbothered that we were donning pajamas that were a replica of each other.
“Don’t go back to sleep, Willa. We have to talk,” he insisted.
Well, it sucked to be him. I wasn’t much of a docile and obedient little mate, so I wasn’t entirely inclined to go along with what he wanted.
“Can’t it wait?” I snapped grumpily before pretending to go back to sleep.
“For fuck’s sake, take a look at our children,” he angrily retorted.
That made me sit up on the bed.
“Oh,” I mumbled dumbly.
The twins now had paws instead of hands, and their arms were now lined with soft thick fur.
“But… But we’ve started nesting. It should’ve slowed their wolves from taking over.”
I looked up at Gallahan, my panic rising with every breath I took.
“Yeah, well,” he replied dryly, “Nesting wouldn’t do shit when there’s this fucked up problem between us.”
Monstrous worry took its shape and sank its sharp claws in my lungs. My gut, on the other hand, seemed to have adopted a battalion of butterflies, the fluttering of their wings creating an unforgiving windstorm.
“But we’ve bonded already,” I argued weakly as I started to harshly twist and pull my fingers. “Shouldn’t that be enough?”
Gallahan dragged a palm down his face as he sucked a deep breath. “Nesting is supposed to be safe, Willa. It should be like a place of comfort for their upset inner wolves. So it wouldn’t do well if there is hostility between us. But we are far from being amicable to each other. Heck, every conversation we’ve ever had usually ended up with us sniping at each other or with one of us walking out on the other.”
My gaze went to the peaceful and cherubic sleeping faces of my children, and the stifling guilt came back with a vengeance.
“So as it is,” Gallahan went on, seemingly oblivious to the maelstrom of emotions wreaking havoc inside my head. “We’re not doing our children any favor nesting with this volatile and tense air between us.”
I gnawed on my lower lip as the pulling and twisting that my right hand was doing to my other hand's fingers ceased.
It was obvious what I had to do, and yet there was a big part of me that was so damn hesitant.
I feared the changes that a true truce between Gallahan and I could bring to my future, as well as my children’s.
I was scared of the possibility that he would win over my children’s heart, whisk them away, and have Miss Banfey step in so they could have the happy and complete family I couldn’t give.
I was mortally frightened that I would start to vye for the role as Gallahan’s mate, not just in bond, but in every sense of the word.
I was also incredibly afraid that a friendship, or even just cordiality, with Gallahan was akin to signing my heart for a death warrant. That I would be doomed for the irrevocable damnation of falling in love with him.
Most of all, I was bone-deep terrified of the likely possibility that this would lead my children to hope that we could ever be a happy family. That they would begin to cling to the idea that we could all be each other's home, only to be disappointed in the end.
But I couldn’t be a coward. Not when something much more important than my own heart and my own life was on the line.
Even if my children would end up disappointed along the line, I would just pick up the pieces of their tiny little hearts and patch it back together with my bare hands, hoping that my love as their mother would be enough as a balm to soothe their ache.
Besides, Gallahan seemed open to looking past all my faults, and I couldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth when between the two of us, it was I who made a lot of mistakes in our stilted relationship. From leaving without so much of a goodbye, to hiding the existence of our children to the point of accidentally severing the parental blood link.
So, ignoring my own fears and bruised pride and ego, I sighed and gathered the courage I wasn’t so sure I had plenty of. Then I met Gallahan’s gaze and said, “So you want to permanently bury all our bloody hatchets six feet under the ground and start over? Is that it?”
Gallahan’s eyes widened just a bit, and his eyebrows rose almost imperceptibly, betraying his surprise.
It was as if he didn’t expect me to even consider what he was trying to say. Much less offer the olive branch first.
But he recovered quickly, a disarming grin gracing his face. “I do. I’m Gallahan Wick, by the way.”
He extended a hand, waiting for me to take and shake it.
I did so, saying, “Willa. Willa Coraline Alfiero. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Gallahan.”
His grin grew bigger and brighter, and his bluish gray eyes suddenly looked vibrant. “No, the honor is all mine, Willa. Please call me Han.”