Chapter 33 INNOCENT QUESTIONS (2)
WILLA'S POV
“Oh, Cal, Gil,” I exclaimed, pulling them close to me for a hug. “You didn’t have to keep this to yourself. If you want to know about your Daddy, you should just tell me.
“But, but you will get sad,” Calisto argued weakly.
I freed them from my hug, so I could look them in the eye as I answered, “And that’s okay, sweetheart. The sadness I feel every time I think of your Daddy? It’s just the unsaid and unexpressed love. And love is not a bad thing, right?”
Calisto and Gillian looked at each other but returned their full attention back to me after a moment. Their uncertainty showed itself in the cute little furrow of their brows and in the small pout on their lips. But at the very least, they were no longer at the brink of bursting into tears.
So I said, “Remember how you had to stay over at our family estate with Memaw, Pepaw and Grandpa for a few days from time to time? And then you would often cry or find it hard to sleep because Mommy can’t be with you while she deals with something important?”
The twins nodded at the same time, knowing perfectly well what I was referring to.
After all, this had always been our set-up for my recurring heats, since suppressants would no longer work for a werewolf who had met their fated mates. It was a hassle, but there wasn’t really much I could do about it other than face it.
Just like I had to face this uncomfortable situation of talking about the twins' father with William and Grandpa in the same room.
Still, I continued. “You feel a bit sad, right? When that happens. When Mommy can’t be with you. This sadness that you feel during those times is just because you love Mommy and you want to be with me. It’s the same sadness I feel when thinking about your Daddy.”
“Does that mean you want to be with Daddy?”
My heart constricted tightly, and the ache and longing clogged my throat, making it hard to say anything for a moment.
William, who had been sitting quietly and letting me handle my children on my own, took a sharp draw of breath. It was as if Gillian’s question was something he wanted to ask too, but was taken out of his mouth before the words could escape him.
I paid him no mind, though. I simply shot a smile at Gillian, internally mustered my courage and looked for my voice that seemed to have vanished.
“Mommy?” Calisto murmured expectantly.
But it took me a couple more heartbeats before I was able to finally admit softly, “Sometimes.”
“Then why don’t we look for him? Cal and I want to be with him too.”
Oh god. How could I even answer that question?
“Oh, love. It’s not that easy.”
“Why not?”
I bit my lower lip as I hesitated to answer, the cogs in my mind working quickly to weave together a satisfying and truthful answer without having to ruin the image the twins had of their father.
After a few seconds that seemed to drag into several minutes, I said, “Sometimes, people just don’t get along. Sometimes, people don’t agree about certain things that matter.”
Ever the sharpest tool in the shed, Gillian connected the dots and responded with another question, “Did the two of you fight? Is that why he’s not here?”
Calisto blinked and tilted his head, confusion written on his face. Then, with the innocence of a five-year-old, he asked, “Then you should just say sorry to each other.”
The guilelessness of the remark nearly caused me to chuckle. But I had enough tact to never laugh over something my children would say with innocence and seriousness.
And while I didn’t share the optimism that a simple apology could fix the burned bridge between Gallahan and I, I still said, “Hm. Perhaps one day, we will. Perhaps one day, you will get the chance to meet and get to know him.”
“And that day will come after the asseshon rite!” Calisto declared optimistically with a bright beam.
Silently, I hoped it wouldn’t.