Chapter 49 Patrick
Patrick
I sit on the edge of the bed, listening to the quiet finality of the front door opening… and then closing.
The sound echoes through the house — soft, but absolute.
My heart is pounding so hard it feels like it might break through my ribs. Each beat is heavy, uneven, impossible to ignore. I don't even fully understand what I'm afraid of — only that fear is there, coiled tight in my chest, refusing to loosen.
Still… this has to be the right decision.
It has to be.
No chaos. No scandal. No consequences that spiral beyond control. No lives derailed because I couldn't hold the line.
I exhale slowly, only then realizing I'd been holding my breath. The release leaves me slightly dizzy, my pulse beating erratically before it begins to settle.
I drag a hand over my face.
I didn't want to push her away.
God, no.
If anything, every instinct in me was screaming to do the opposite — to pull her closer, keep her there, forget everything else.
But she has too much at stake.
She's brilliant. Focused. She has a future that stretches far beyond this moment, beyond me. I refuse to be the reason that future collapses.
All for something as uncertain as… this.
Fated mates.
The words still feel strange in my mind — too heavy, too impossible, like a fairytale.
Who decided that? Who decided fate gets to choose who we belong to?
I huff out a quiet breath, shaking my head.
I don't buy it. Not fully. Not yet.
Which is exactly why I didn't tell her everything.
Didn't tell her about the timeline.
About what happens if the bond… progresses.
If it's real — truly real — then there will be proof. Something undeniable. Something I can't rationalize away or dismiss as coincidence.
And if that happens…
If I end up—
I stop the thought before it fully forms, my stomach tightening.
Then I'll have to accept it.
Because if that's the case… fighting it would be pointless.
The idea sits heavy in my chest.
I push myself to my feet, only to stumble slightly as my legs fail to cooperate. A quiet curse slips under my breath as I steady myself against the bed.
My body feels… spent and drained in a way that's both physical and deeper than that.
There's no denying it.
Lottie fucked the shit out of me. I won't lie about that.
I let out a short, breathless laugh, running my hands through my hair, a flush creeping up my neck as flashes of memory surface — too vivid, too immediate. The intensity of it, the way she seemed to know exactly how to move, how to take control, how to—
I cut the thought off, exhaling sharply.
Focus.
I force myself toward the bathroom, each step still slightly unsteady. The evidence of us coming together running down my legs. When I turn on the shower, steam begins to curl into the air almost immediately.
I hesitate at the threshold.
Because I don't want to wash her away.
Her scent still clings to me — pine, snow, something crisp and unmistakable. It wraps around me like a presence, like she's still here despite everything.
My hand drifts up to brush over the mark on my neck, the skin tender to touch. She marked me.
The thought settles deep, heavier than it should.
For a few moments, I just stand there, breathing her scent in, committing it further to memory because it never leaves.
Then, finally, I step under the water.
The heat hits my skin, drawing a low sigh from my chest. For a brief moment, the steam seems to intensify Lottie's scent, filling the small space until it feels almost suffocating.
I inhale deeply, a faint shiver running through me.
Then, slowly, I begin to wash.
When I step out, the air feels colder. Emptier. Lottie's absence feels like it left a big void in my space.
I dry off and make my way back into the bedroom, pulling on a soft cotton shirt and a pair of shorts, skipping anything else. My skin still feels overly sensitive, like it hasn't fully settled back into itself.
Everything feels… different.
I reach for my phone, mostly for the distraction, and pause when I see a message from Cade.
\[Hey, bro, what's good? You wanna meet up for drinks or lunch? I'm free today and tomorrow.\]
I stare at it longer than I should.
Because I know him.
He'll take one look at me and know something's changed. That I'm not the same person who sat across from him not long ago, talking about rules and boundaries like they were unbreakable truths.
My fingers hover over the screen, then finally move.
\[Hey, bro, sure. We can do lunch tomorrow.\]
I hit send quickly, before I can overthink it.
Glancing at the time, I realize it's already late—nine p.m.
I sit back down on the bed, the mattress dipping beneath my weight — and that's when it hits me again.
Her scent.
It's still everywhere—Woven into the sheets, the blankets, the very air around me.
I lie back almost without thinking, pulling the blankets around myself, holding them tighter than I should.
Breathing her in.
For a moment, I let my eyes close.
And instantly, the memories return — sharp, vivid, impossible to ignore. The heat, the closeness, the way everything else disappeared until there was nothing left but her.
A flicker of warmth stirs low in my chest, spreading before I can stop it.
I groan softly, dragging a hand over my face.
"Stop," I mutter to myself.
But it's useless.
Because ever since she walked into my life…
Lottie has been the one constant in my thoughts.
And now that I've had her—
I don't know how I'm supposed to let her go.
My phone buzzes in my hand, the sharp vibration jolting me out of the quiet cocoon of my thoughts.
For a second, I just stare at it, disoriented, like I've been pulled up from somewhere deeper than I meant to go.
Then I lift it, blinking slowly at the screen until the words come into focus.
\[Lunch tomorrow sounds great! Can't wait to see you, bro! Feels like it's been too long!\]
A faint, tired smile tugs at my lips.
It's just Cade responding to my message.
My thumbs move sluggishly over the screen, my thoughts still thick and slow, weighed down by everything else.
\[Cnt wait either. I miss u too, bro.\]
I don't even bother fixing the typos.
I hit send and let the phone slip from my hand, where it lands softly against the mattress beside me.
The room is quiet again.
But the silence doesn't feel empty — not with her still everywhere.
Lottie's scent lingers in the sheets, in the pillow beneath my head, wrapped around me like something tangible. Pine and snow, clean and sharp, yet somehow warm all at once.
I pull the blanket even closer, breathing her in.
My body finally gives in to the exhaustion I've been holding at bay. Every muscle feels heavy, every thought slower than the last, like I'm sinking beneath the surface of something soft and endless.
The tension drains out of me in pieces.
My eyes slip closed.
And the last thing I'm aware of is her — the echo of her presence, the memory of her touch, the certainty that even now, she hasn't really left me.
Then everything fades.
And I let the darkness take me.