Chapter 34

The panic was back.  The feeling of terror climbing through my consciousness in the back of my throat desperate to escape my feeble body was back with a vengeance that I didn't know it could have. My heart was beating faster than it had ever had and I was more scared than ever. I made sure that Marley was alright once I read the bloodstained note, and surprisingly she picked up on the first ring. "Marley?" I choked out, unable to believe that she was really okay. "Yeah it's me.  Caroline?  Are you okay?" I blinked a few times in shock and looked at Kieran who still had an arm around me, never leaving my side.  He had an unreadable stony expression on his face and I wasn't about to try and analyze it. I didn't know what I would do if I saw fear on his face, fear on the face of someone who I was leaning so heavily upon for support. "I-I got something in the mail.  He-he left it for me, it says that he hurt you.  Are you okay?" I could see her scrunch her eyebrows in confusion in my mind's eye like how she always used to and I could tell that she was taking her time answering, contemplating what I'd just told her. "What was it?" she asked, and by the shaking in her voice I could tell that she was more than afraid. I didn't want to tell her too much so that it terrified her, but I also needed her to know the gravity of the situation. "It's the knife.  The one that I bought the day that he- anyways.  He must have went back and got it and it has something on it that looks like blood.  The note says that it's yours..." I trailed off, wanting to crawl into a hole and never come back out. "Well, he hasn't gotten anywhere near me.  My parents moved me back out to California after he hurt that girl a few days ago and they have round the clock protection on me since he's running for Senator this term.  I'll be fine, but you need some protection of your own.  I could ask my dad if he could send some people over there to you, in case you need it." I sighed in relief.  It was just a bluff, something to scare me. "No, thank you.  That's very sweet of you to offer but we're getting a security system installed and I'm pretty sure I'll be covered as far as personal safety," I said, looking out of the corner of my eye to see one side of Kieran's mouth slide up into a half smirk at what I'd said. My parents were in the other room talking frantically with the people at the security company and it turned out that they were going to get them to come out on a Sunday, something about how my parents were friends with the owner of the company, I didn't really care as long as the house was protected. I had never felt terror like I had the night he attacked me again until I saw the blood on the knife. "Okay well if you change your mind, just give me a call.  I heard that he was leaving New York around the time I was as well, so stay safe." "I will." "And Caroline?" "Yeah?" "Be strong." And with that we hung up and I was left wondering how anything would ever be the same again. I had thought sharing my secret and my burden with someone, anyone, would have destroyed me but it did the opposite. But how was I supposed to put myself together again if he was still out there terrorizing other girls and myself?  How could I ever be considered 'normal' with everything that had happened to me in just the past year and a half? Kieran shook me a bit and I looked up to see him looking down at me with a worried expression on his face. "What's wrong?" he asked me, concern dripping from his tone. "Didn't she say she was fine?" he asked, and although that might have been true, that didn't mean that I had to be. "Yeah but that means that he doesn't care what level he stoops to, he's going to terrorize me until we figure out a way to get him to stop." "He won't terrorize you as long as I'm around." "Yeah, but you can't be around me twenty four seven," I argued back at him, hoping to be a voice of reason. "Says who?" It wasn't the words that he said that scared me, it was the seriousness with which he said them. "My parents won't let us be together twenty four seven.  I have to sleep." "I'm sure they'd rather pick the lesser of two evils," he said to me suggestively and I wanted to groan and hit my head against a brick wall, so I settled for the next best thing- Kieran's rock hard chest. His arms immediately wrapped around me and one hand went to my head and started caressing my hair. I had gone so long trying to console myself that it was strange having someone else do it for me. "You can't be some sort of body guard for me, that's unfair of me to ask of you.  What if you got hurt?  I'd never be able to live with myself and-" "Well, then it's a good thing you didn't ask." I groaned again as I felt the deep rumbling of his voice throughout his chest and felt the yearning need to be alone with him yet again and if we were going to be together constantly until we found a solution to our 'problem' then I wasn't sure if I could keep my hands to myself, especially when it came to someone as glorious as Kieran. "How is this even going to work?" I asked him, finally pulling back a bit to look up into his beautiful, glistening eyes. "Well, I'll be with you at school already.  We live next door so we can carpool together to school, and if you ever just want to get out of the house and do something, I'll take you." I eyed him questioningly. "Are you sure you're going to be wanting to spend so much time with me?" His eyes lit up and a wicked smile crossed his gorgeous features. "What else would I rather be doing?" I could think of a few things...Number one on that list being not protecting some girl from a homicidal sexual predator... Of course I didn't say it out loud though.  Might ruin the camaraderie and lighthearted tone our conversation had taken, wouldn't want that. "One hint of danger towards you and you're out.  I won't have you getting hurt because of me." He looked at me as if I had said something stupid and funny at the same time. "You do realize that he is the one doing all of this right?  If I get hurt it will be his fault, not yours.  Tell me you get that, Caroline." I had to look away from his green glance, putting a fist to my mouth to keep him from seeing that I was biting down on my bottom lip extra hard to keep from correcting him. I just nodded solemnly and he ended up pulling me into him again, his crisp scent of amazingness hitting my senses when I needed them to the most. I inhaled and exhaled, trying to steady myself for what was going to happen next to my life. If he really was in town and was planning on destroying my life even more than he already had, then I needed to not only prepare myself, but the people around me as well. Because Kieran was wrong about something. If something happened to him, I would blame myself.  If I let anything even remotely dangerous happen to him, I didn't think I could ever forgive myself. I was going to do whatever it took to keep the people around me safe, even if it meant sacrificing myself in the process.