“And, tell me if I’m overstepping, please,” Del had said, and put a book into Justin’s hands.
It was a book about kids. About what they needed at different stages, and what to expect. The thing was thick as a brick, but Justin had devoured it over the next few days, reading through it faster than he had any GED study guide. He even took it to work with him and read it on his breaks. A lot of the stuff in it was common sense, Justin guessed, but it helped to have it all written down in black and white. It helped to read through it all so that he’d be a little more prepared for whatever the next crisis was, because Justin had learned on that fraught night with the trip to the hospital that common sense was the first thing that up and vanished when everyone was stressed out.
“I read it in this book I have,” Justin told Emily. “Like, you have to explain it to them that’s it wrong, and that if it happens again there will be consequences. And you have to explain what the consequences will be.” He shrugged. “But Wyatt’s a real easy kid though. He listens good.”
He didn’t tell her that the stuff wouldn’t work on Harper for a second. Harper was an angel with Del but still a little demon with Justin. And Justin couldn’t decide if it was because Del had somehow figured out some way to get through to her, or if Harper was playing up how much she enjoyed Del’s company precisely because she knew it was a punch in the gut to Justin. He didn’t know if he was being an asshole in ascribing that much malice to a six-year-old or not. And even if it was malicious, Justin didn’t blame her for it. He’d more than earned her mistrust.
The rest of the visit went smoothly. Justin washed up the coffee mugs he and Emily had been using while Emily talked to the kids in the living room. Justin couldn’t make out what they were saying, though it seemed to be mostly Emily’s voice he could hear anyway, apart from a few curt responses from Harper and a screech or two from Scarlett. And then Emily was gone, and Justin felt the tension bleeding from him. He leaned in the living room doorway and the kids stared back at him.
Justin smiled. “Who wants to go visit Del?”
Harper and Wyatt beat him out the door. Justin picked up Scarlett and followed them.
* * * *
“How’d it go?” Del asked as he opened his front door and the kids rushed inside. He looked concerned, and Justin felt a rush of affection for him that was as warm as sunlight. It hadn’t occurred to him that Del would be as worried about Emily’s visit as he was.
“Good,” Justin said. “We’re still gonna get visits every month and stuff, but she said she thinks I’m doing a good job.”
“You are,” Del said, smiling. He reached out and out a hand on Justin’s shoulder. Gripped him firmly but gently. “You really are.”
“I wouldn’t be, without you.” Justin had said it plenty of times, but the words still felt like they should come with a sting of embarrassment as though he was revealing too much even though it was just the plain truth. Somehow the words were becoming less a humiliation every time he spoke them though, and more an affirmation. Del was here, and Del was good, and Del had saved him. He hoped Del heard his gratitude in the words, his thanks.
“It’s what friends do,” Del told him, his smile growing as he drew Justin inside.
It might have been what friends did, Justin knew, but it wasn’t usually what strangers did, and that first night Del had been a stranger. Del always said that Justin didn’t give himself enough credit for doing the best he could, but what about Del, who didn’t give himself enough credit for doing a hell of a lot more than most strangers would? Maybe they both needed to think a little better about themselves.
Justin followed Del into the house. The kids were already in the living room, digging through the box of toys that had somehow filled with new ones after Del’s bookstore visit. Justin hadn’t commented on the new toys; Del had been awkward enough about the books. Del and Justin headed for the kitchen. The table by the window was covered in books and notes, evidence of how Del had spent his day so far.
“How’s it all coming along?” Justin asked.
“Pretty good,” Del said. “I’m trying to modify some recipes to get them all down to where I can make substitutes for some of the ingredients, you know? Not everyone has five different types of salt in their pantry.”
“Pretty sure we don’t have any,” Justin agreed.