CHAPTER 25—Olivia
I wait till we’re through to hit his chest with my hands. I try to wriggle out of his grip, but he holds me tighter.
“Can you just calm down for a second?” he yells.
I don’t listen, I keep struggling until he puts my feet down on the floor. I hit his chest for good measure before I put a distant amount of space.
“Can you stop! I don’t know what you’re doing but stop…you can’t be carrying me around especially in public.”
“What do you mean stop? What were you doing in there? Just the hell were you thinking?” he yells, “How can you just lie down there while they take shots off you? And the hell was that kiss with Sharlene, the fuck is going on between you two?”
So many questions with so much anger.
I take a deep breath and regard him with blank eyes, “You don’t see me asking why you have girls over?” That keeps him speechless.
“This thing you’re trying to do…” I gesture in the space between us “It’s not going to work. It’ll just be like I said, we’ll get married tomorrow without being up in each other’s space.”
“Olivia…” He trails off.
The sound of my name from him sends an electric jolt through my body. I’ve missed him but I don’t let that get to me.
“Why did you let Sharlene kiss you? I thought you wanted me.” He sounds like a broken child, like he was abandoned by me.
I hold back a sob, “Well I did…you were the one who didn’t want me back. I’m not enough to make you keep me by your side forever…”
Regret flashes in his eyes.
“Let me be…This is a fake marriage so I can do whatever I want just like you can do whatever you want,” I’m fuming, and he is too.
“No” he says, his breath heavy.
I’m not sure I heard him right.
“What did you say?”
“No,” he says clearer this time. “I’m not going to let you be…” he pauses, “I didn’t mean any of those things I said before.”
He’s struggling with words, that I can tell. He starts pacing before the stopping in front of me.
“I don’t want you with anyone else” he says, “Seeing you kiss Sharlene was the worst pain I’ve felt in a long time, and I can’t…I can’t bear it.” He clutches his chest and I’m afraid he’s in actual pain.
“Can we go back to you and me naked in my bed…” his voice does a three-sixty, it has changed from broken to broken and turned on.
“Jake…”
“I don’t want anyone that isn’t you Olivia, I want to marry you for real this time” he proclaims.
He searches my face when I say nothing. I don’t know how I’m supposed to react to this. Do I take him back? What if he leaves again?
“You’ll marry me for sure tomorrow but…you said it yourself that you don’t intend to stay married.”
He takes my hands in his, “I know what I said and I’m taking it back. I want to marry you; I want years with you because three months won’t be enough.”
He traces my jaw, “I want forever with you Olivia if you will have me.”
Is he promising to me this moment? Asking me to marry him for real?
I want to blame the alcohol for making things up in my head, but I know he means everything he just said.
It’s all in his eyes and the vulnerability in them that he doesn’t hide from me.
I want to ask him if this means there would no other girl. I don’t know what I’ll do about Sharlene.
I don’t think about it too much because I’m selfish. I want Jake all to myself and I don’t care whoever gets hurt in the process.
He just admitted to loving me, to wanting only me in the entire world. All those girls and he chose me.
“It’s okay if you don’t want anything to do with me still, I’ll understand because I didn’t make it easy when you confessed to me. But…I just want you to know that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you starting tomorrow.”
I give him my answer.
I take a step back and I kiss him.