CHAPTER 39

Janaki's POV

I couldn't describe my happiness in words. Damn! He fulfilled one of my life goals. You may wonder why this woman has added getting a pet in her' life goals'. But you will only understand that when you love something soooooo much but you are not allowed to have it, just because your parents don't want to. I was always had attracted to dogs. They are angels of heaven-sent by God to make human life beautiful.

I never expected this surprise from him. He knew how our parents despise the idea of a pet. I don't know why, but they would be very furious to know about Twinkle. I named him 'Twinkle'. It's my wish from childhood to name my first dog, Twinkle. So I did. Vidhu didn't comment, but she enjoyed being around him.

I looked around, and I couldn't find my mama in the living room. Then I heard some noise from the kitchen.

God! Why I had to be so selfish? I totally forgot about making food for dinner.

I slowly walked to the kitchen and found him sautéing veggies and humming some song. So sweet! He changed into a grey t-shirt and black track pants. He is always handsome for me. But I rarely complimented him yet never failed to notice his efforts.

He always cares for us and put family needs and happiness before his own. That quality made me respect him more, and I almost copied most of his activities in my childhood just because he does. Because my mind created an illusion of whatever he does, it will be correct. After getting into teenage, I started developing my own qualities, yet sometimes we would end up doing things in the same pattern. And he is my 'Knight in School Uniform' during my school days.

I used to be a little chubby till my fifth standard. And few neighbourhood boys will always call me names because of it. And I always used to complain about it to my mama, and he fought with them and pacified me by telling me I am beautiful. I clearly remember those incidents. Few memories could never be erased.

My thatha told many incidents about my mama obsession. I never left his side till age ten as I always wanted to be around him. And once I even walked to his school from my third standard - lunch break and sat in his classroom for the rest of the day. My parents almost went to give police complaints about me missing. And that day, my amma hit me with a broom until it couldn't be used anymore. That's my first and worst memory of getting hit by her.

But I had a faint memory that day, especially the time I spent with him that day at his school. It's a special memory for me. I found him playing with his friends and ran towards him. He grinned big on seeing me, then picked me up and took me to his classroom. Then he fed his lunch to me, and in return, I fed him with my small fingers, smudging the food all over his face. But he never complained. The teachers in the classroom thought I was his sister, and my parents only left me here to be with him. So they didn't bother to call our parents to inform them about me. He also let me sit on his lap for the rest of the day and played with me without the teacher's knowledge.

I couldn't even imagine him baby-ing me now.

And he gave me the most treasurable gift of my life today. I just wanted to hug him and shout a big 'Thank you' to let the world know how much I am grateful for getting my Twinkle. But it would be so dramatical. Yet I could hug him and thank him right. He looked past his shoulder and smiled at me. I smiled at him and went near him. With a deep breath, I pushed my hesitation out and hugged him from behind and kept my head on his right shoulder. He instantly stiffened by my sudden move.

"Thank you so much, mama."

 My emotions showed up in surface, and my eyes started pouring happy tears with a big grin plastered on my face.

He unlocked my intertwined hands around his torso and turned around to face me with a big smile. He wiped my tears and kissed my forehead lovingly.

"Don't let out your tears even if they are happy tears. You knew I hate to see you in tears."

 I didn't know what got into me that second. I kissed his cheek and hugged him tightly, resting my head on his chest. 

I sensed his hands circling around my waist after a few seconds with a contented sigh, and he buried his face in my neck. I never felt so safe and contented in my life like now. He had the magic of making me feel safe around him. We stood still in our embrace, exchanging our warmth without caring about the world. Then he tilted his head and traced my bare shoulder with his nose and paused near the neck and pressed his warm lips on my neck. I bit my lips to not let out the moan from my mouth and bunched his t-shirt in my hands. My brain warning me to pull away, but my heart didn't like the idea of getting away from him.

His hands moved to my hips, and he pulled his head away, just to look into my eyes. I couldn't read his expression just like how he is trying to read mine. I gulped and ran my tongue over my lips in anticipation and looked between his eyes and his lips which were just a few centimetres away from me. His lips curved up so slightly before closing the distance between us. My breath hitched on the second I felt his lips on mine. I have read that the kiss will make butterflies flutter in stomach, sparks and tingles to surface over the skin, make you feel like floating on the cloud. But I understood that the real-life experience is totally different from reading the feeling of others.

I literally felt my heart pumping more blood through every blood vessels all over my body, making every single inch of my skin to heat up. My whole being is currently focused on our touching lips in high anticipation. My mind went blank after a wave of goosebumps spread over my body when he started moving his lips. He pressed my hip lightly, and I melted into his embrace, reciprocating his actions. I could sense our erratic heartbeat slowly getting a rhythm of synchronization. I was lost in our sweet kiss. It's so sensual yet pleasant.

He pulled away panting for air just like me and looked into my eyes. I don't know when my hands went around his neck, but I am clinging on him, and I couldn't sense any bones in my legs. He leaned again and pecked my lips again and again before tucking a piece of hair behind my ear and placing his forehead against mine. I was still panting and processing what just happened here.

His dark brown eyes were dilated further dark, making it look almost black, yet I found myself more attracted to seeing this effect on him. He stroked my cheek without breaking our eye contact. I removed my hands and took a step back in shy. Wrong move! I lost balance and found myself again in his arms. In that little panic, I regained my sense and now my brain throwing me lots of questions.

Above all, he just stole my first kiss!

He made me stand properly and kissed my cheek. I widened my eyes with his sudden chain of intimate actions. What had gotten into him.. uh... us?

"You look more beautiful when you blush, Janu."

 He whispered in my ear in a deep voice which sent goosebumps all over my body again.

"Mama...!" I startled by my voice being so croaky. And nothing came to my mind. I looked at his face searching any sign of regret. Because I don't regret kissing my husband. And It would be a lie if I deny I am not growing feelings for him. Even though it will be painful, I have to check whether he regrets acting in the heat of the moment. But his smiling face gave me a big relief. He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to finish what I started.

"Is this your first time?"

 I blurted out as my mind is chanting about me losing mine, and my voice is not normal yet. His cheeks turned little red before him looking away and nodding 'Yes'. Another wave of relief came over me on knowing it.

God! He saved himself for me.

I felt so lucky and happy. I muttered a 'me too' before leaning towards his lips. I felt so happy when he smiled in between the kiss before pulling me closer to him. I felt this kiss is much more passionate and we didn't hold back ourself showing our need for each other. His hands traced the sides of my body, making my body freeze. He nibbled my lower lip to gain my attention which he successfully got as I started responding to him immediately. I never tried drugs, but I could tell, it would never be more addictive than his kiss. And I am already addicted to it.

I pulled away as there is no more breath to spare in my lungs but didn't pull myself from his embrace. His eyes showed so much love. Uh, love? Yes, I couldn't put it otherwise. It's love mixed with adoration. I didn't take any step to hide my blush anymore. He stroked my cheek and asked me to let him finish the cooking. I offered him to help, but he sent me out as he doesn't want any more 'distractions'. Thank God! He switched off the stove before turning around to wipe my tears earlier.

I came out and found Vidhu sitting on the sofa and speaking on her phone with a big grin. I didn't even ask her about the day. God! What happened to me today? I searched for Twinkle and found him sleeping in his bed. Good boy!

I locked myself in my room as my mind started to question my actions. I sat in front of my dressing table.

I am not dreaming, right? 

 My slightly swelled lips confirmed my answer.

Have I done the right thing?

Am I hurrying up to make the decision?

Am I pressuring him to get into our married life?

 But he is the one who initiated the kiss.

Is that mean he moved on?

 Something stirred inside me on thinking that we are going to start a normal husband and wife relationship.

Will he love me?

 My heart strongly agrees as his eyes came to my mind. I traced my lips, remembering his lips on mine. I smiled at my reflection.

Do I love him? 

 My heart started to race as I thought about my question. But I couldn't conclude it with YES.

Great! We shared our First kiss without even knowing what is in between us.

 I am pissed off with myself right now.

What is he thinking? 

 Man! He is making me so confused.

But one part of me is dancing in happiness. I pushed all unwanted thoughts away and went out. I found Vidhu still on the phone. I went behind her and pulled her phone. She let out startled noise.

Twinkle is instantly standing near us and looking around. 

 Oh no! 

 Not another overprotective guy!

She hit my arm, but I didn't return her phone but kept it near my ear. As she already whisper-yelling me to give back her mobile, the line is silent.

"Hi anna! How was the day?"

 I chimed happily.

"Hi Janaki. Do you even need to ask? I will be always happy whenever I spend my time with my Vidhya."

 I mentally underlined My Vidhya. I felt happy for her. But decided to tease them.

"Phaaaa. Aren't you exaggerating things?"

 I exclaimed dramatically.

"No my dear sister. I am not. Because that's cent per cent true."

 He answered proudly. God! His love is making me want to cry. He is so genuine and dedicated.

"Always be like this towards her. I pray to God for both of you."

 Our conversation is not that awkward like I thought.

"Sure, ma."

"Okay anna, she will kill me even if I wasted anymore minute of your precious time. I am handing over the phone to her anna. See you soon. Bye, Anna."

 I heard him saying bye with a chuckle, and I gave the phone to now 'grinning-like-idiot' Vidhya.

I heard shuffling sounds from the kitchen, and I am very much tempted to pay a visit, so there would be some possibility to steal one more kiss tonight.

What! Why my mind is sounding like a pervert?

God! Give me some good senses!

Twinkle's bark distracted my thoughts. I sat on the sofa, which he climbed after three attempts and sat next to me. I scratched his jaws and back of the ear. He leaned onto me and finally fell on my lap, making few cute doggy noises. After a few minutes, Prabhu mama called us for dinner. I set a bowl for Twinkle. A smirk was permanently plastered to his face during the dinner.

"Anna, the thought of Twinkle is your special present to your wife on valentines' day never crossed my mind. You know why? Because You both were telling 'nothing in between us'. Right anna?"

Vidhu asked sarcastically with an innocent expression. I choked on my food as I didn't think in that way. I looked at him expectantly for his answer. But he didn't reply immediately.

"What do you say, Janu?"

 I was so distracted to listen to his question as he was tracing his lower lip with his thumb and winced so slightly when he come to trace the left corner. I frowned and focused my eyes there. My eyes widened at my artwork on his lip. Thank God! It's not so noticeable. I looked down at the food to cover my blush from Vidhu.

God!

"Back to earth Janu..." Vidhu laughed at me.

I looked up at her in confusion.

"He asked you something. But you seem to be in your dreamland."

She raised her eyebrow at me.

"Sorry, I was thinking about Twinkle." 

I lied fluently. I saw him shaking his head from my peripheral vision.

I quickly finished my food and excused myself to check Twinkle. I found him playing with a ball, we played with him earlier. As he is a five months baby, we don't need to practice things with him. He is already trained for a few things. Also, he is smart from what I have observed.

After a few minutes, we descended to our rooms. I asked Vidhu about her day. She happily narrated the details. After that, she dozed off, stating that she was so tired. I couldn't sleep, and I wanted to check what he was doing. If he was awake, I could have some talk with him.

I slowly sneaked out of bed without waking her and went to his door. I turned the knob and took a step.

Ouch!

Why did he lock the door? He rarely locks the door. I turned around thinking and found Twinkle sitting a few feet away from me and watching me. He kept his tongue out and tilting his head side to side, making him look very cute. I walked towards him and kneeled down to pet his head. 

"What are you doing here at this time?" 

 I startled and sat on the floor with a thud at the sudden voice. Twinkle let out a low growl making my scared-self to laugh. Mama looked at us amused.

"Just came here to check on Twinkle."

 I said and found him crossing his hand over his chest with a small smile.

"Is it? But I didn't remember keeping him inside my room!"

Damn it! He should have heard me running into his closed door.

I averted my gaze and stood up to find some reason to escape. I might have come to speak, but my mind warning me to go inside with all the chemical reaction happening inside me just looking at him in this half lighting.

Think something, Janu. He is waiting for your reply.

"I wanted to tell you that I will come along with you tomorrow while you go for jogging. We have to familiarise our surroundings to Twinkle."

Wow, Janu! I mentally patted myself for a convincing reply.

He nodded his head, looking intently at me. My heart started racing at the numerous possibilities of things that could happen now.

God, why I changed so much overnight? 

 Don't think about the evening, Janu!

He took a few steps towards me, making me back away. My legs knocked on the sofa, and I fell onto it. I glared at him and managed to sit properly. He chuckled and sat next to me. I yelped in surprise when he picked me up and made me sit on his lap, so my back is now resting on the armrest with my legs down. I circled my hands around his neck and blushed at our close position.

"Wha..what are you doing?"

"You used to love sitting on my lap, Janu. Did you forget?"

 He replied smugly with a smirk. 

 If I hadn't been in this position, I would have replied to him sarcastically. But my mind didn't work to that extent now.

"But we were kids then mama". 

 I whined and tried to get up, but he pressed my thigh with his hand, shaking his head 'no'.

"Why are you doing all these?" 

 Wow! Where did this come from? He studied me for a minute before replying.

"What do you think?"

What do I think?

"I want an answer from you mama, not counter question." 

 I looked at him with hope.

"Before I answer your question, tell me your thoughts about our life."

"My thoughts? What is the answer you are expecting from me? I accepted the marriage as soon as you tied this around me." 

 I pointed my thali and continued. 

 We can't keep on postponing our talk. If he wants me to open up before he could speak, I am happily ready to share my thoughts.

"At starting, I had lots of insecurities and fears. But eventually I got adjusted to the truth and above all, we very well knew each other. I don't feel uncomfortable around you. Indeed it's the opposite, you always made me feel safe. And you promised me to support me to achieve my dreams. What else a woman could expect from her husband?"

I saw him gulping. And his face adorned a genuine smile.

"Will you accept me as your husband... with my messed up past? "

 He closed his eyes and sighed. I gently caressed his cheek. He is getting out of the shell. That's all matters.

"Yes, mama. I knew, there will always be a scar because of her. I don't know whether I could make it disappear, but I could try to make the pain go away with our good memories." 

 I looked at him expectantly. I need to do this for him. For us. And I believe I am doing the right thing.

"Thank you so much, Janu. I don't deserve you. But I promise you to cherish all my life." 

 His voice sounds so broken, and it made me so sad. I kissed his forehead and let him rest on his head over my shoulder and hugged him side-way.

"Don't think like that, mama. Everything happens for a reason. God tied us together because he thought we deserve each other. Together, we will find a way to make our life better. Okay?"

"Yes, together." 

 He said with a small smile making my heart light up.