Chapter 4 A dream or memory?
Chapter 4
Lily's POV:
I decided to take a walk before going back to my chambers. Our walk was quiet, but I knew Anya was itching to say something.
And it was not long after she broke the silence with a curse.
" That bull-headed prince thinks he can treat you anyhow?". Her eyes blazing in fury.
The evening breeze was a paid actor, as it blew her hair, adding a dramatic effect on her expression, and I couldn't help but smile.
Anya rushed to my front and placed her hand on my forehead, concern swimming in her green eyes. "Are you alright, Crown Princess". I laughed confused, and she flared her free hand in the air. " Because you are laughing, even after being humiliated by that..... shit head."
"He is prince, Anya. Mind your words". I cautioned softly before releasing a breath. "But do you expect me to cry?"
"No! Of course not." She exclaimed, her face reddened in embarrassment.
And I began laughing loudly. Servants passing by stared at me like I was crazy.
Calming myself, I held Anya's hands. "Why would I remain sad when you are here?"
She took down her head, her hair fanning around her, covering her face. "Crown Princess" she called softly.
I bent my face to look at her blazing face. " I'm teasing you."
Her head rose up, her eyebrows scrunched together as she glared at me playfully. "Crown Princess!"
"But I am serious. Why should I be sad when you are here? You make me smile, Anya. I never have one. But you are my friend."
She was speechless with her mouth open.
"Come on. Let's go back". I said, smiling at her speechless expression.
Maybe I should have waited for a while before coming back to my chambers. But it was better now than waiting.
"Father." I called out to my dad, who was standing at my door. He glanced at me for a while before gesturing to me to lead the way.
As we entered, Father glanced around the room with a disapproving look. The soft glow of candles illuminated the room. My queen-sized bed was adorned with soft silky bedspread, and covered with delicate curtains. The white painting matched the marble floors, which in turn matched the black curtains. A bookshelf and sofas sat in the middle of the room.
He didn't care to sit down, and I knew he meant business.
" I heard you have not consummated your marriage with the prince, and he wishes to take a concubine". His strict stare and hard face made me feel inferior.
I lowered my head as a wave of embarrassment washed over me. " Father, he is not interested in me." I tried to explain.
Tried to explain how tough it was, maybe he would try to understand, but who was I deceiving?
His frown deepened more. " Then you make him interested. This is a great opportunity and you should grab it. For once, be useful."
With that order, he left. He didn't even ask if I was adapting well to the palace. Does he have any idea the amount of humiliation I have suffered? And still, I could not find it in me to get angry at him.
My hatred was of my mum. For being who she was. Why couldn't she find something else? I have been curious about my mum and when I asked Father about it, he sent me off in anger and yet, I could see the pain flashing in his eyes. Maybe he truly loved her.
I trudged my way and sat on the soft peach, flowery sofa. My anxiety came back in full force, leaving me drowning helplessly. I tried not to bite my flesh.
Anya entered, concern written boldly on her face.
"Are you alright? Crown Princess?" she asked.
I nodded my head, feeling too dizzy. "I'm fine. When is dinner served?"
"Not for two hours"
"Wake me up when it's time." I got up and headed to my bed, feeling the heavenly softness of the bed sheets enveloping me.
As I drifted to sleep, a familiar dream came up.
" Mama. Look at the star". A little girl with a mop of wavy brown hair stood outside, pointing at the star.
"Yes it's beautiful, but not like my Lily flower". The mother of the child said, as she wrapped her arms around the little girl.
The little girl's brown eyes sparkled in wonder as she gazed at the sky. "Mama. I wish to be a star". Not waiting for her mum's response, she continued. "Because up there in the sky, no one can hurt me. Hurt us". Her voice was filled with longing.
And that was when she turned to look at her mum. And like every time, she couldn't see her mum's face. Like a painting on a torn canvas.
I woke up, gasping out for breath. I always had the same dream. And it ends like this. I can't remember the face of my mother. I can't remember being with her. And every time I try to search for my memory. I came up with nothing but a headache.
What do I mean by hurting us?
A noise from outside captured my attention and Anya walked in.
"Oh . You are awake, Crown Princess. I was about to wake you up. " she said.
The room was dark, the only light coming from the candles Anya was lighting.
"Dinner is served?". I rubbed my eyes, trying to adjust to the warm light.
"Yes . Crown princess". She came close, her hands busy arranging my bed hair. "And you will be eating alone. The Queen is with Prince Elliott."
I was relieved. I was not in the mood for company.
I followed Anya out of the room, the soft rustle of my gown accompanying me. I slowed my steps when I saw Prince Atlas seated, eating silently with his blank expression on.
The room was tense, and the servants stood in the room looking like deer in headlights.
" Let's turn back. Crown princess". Anya whispered because she didn't want to grab his attention, but that failed as Prince Atlas raised his head up to look at me.
I was really enamored with his black eyes. Maybe because it felt as if he could see my vulnerability. See me.
" You can stay. I am going anyway". He spoke
And judging from the widened eyes and slightly open mouths, they had never heard him speak before.
His voice was nice. Hoarse, deep and raspy but nice.
I was lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice him standing up. Without thinking, I released a sharp "no"
"Crown Princess!". Anya whispered.
"Keep shut Anya," I ordered before sitting down and directing my attention to Prince Atlas. "Please have a seat. You were here before me and you are not done eating."
His face was blank, but I knew he was surprised. Even as I was served my food and began eating, he was still staring at me. It was after a while, he picked up his spoon and resumed eating.
I watched him for a moment, noticing the way his dark hair fell across his forehead.
As we ate, the silence between us was broken only by the sounds of cutlery against the plates. Something drew me to him. Probably because we are the same. Cast away by the people we are supposed to call family.
As I finished my meal, Prince Atlas looked up, his eyes meeting mine. For a moment, we just stared at each other, the air thick with awkwardness. Then I stood up, and he sat more erect. His posture was ready for a fight. It was sad.
"Good night. Prince Atlas" Sounding polite.
I turned to go, but not before catching a glimpse of something in his eyes. A flicker of surprise? Maybe.
I knew Anya was bursting with questions, but luckily, her annoyance with me kept her quiet. Being with Prince Atlas had me remembering the masked stranger.
Anya went about doing her nightly routine, and I went to bed, feigning sleep. Her soft goodnight tugged at my conscience. Once she left, I waited until the sound of her footsteps faded away, and then I slipped out of bed.
I made my way to the royal garden, carefully avoiding the night guards. The moon cast eerie shadows on the ground as I stepped into the garden, scanning the surroundings.
And when I was about to lose hope, a low voice spoke behind me.
"And here I thought you might have forgotten about me."