dying

dying
A dream.
That was one way to describe the way my life had been, except for one thing. Every evening, Darius would leave the house for a full hour or maybe more, coming back with marks that i could not explain. I had tried to confront him about it once and he flaired up about it
“where are you going?” i said as he made his usual steps to the door. I watched as he took a deep breath.
“Mika..” he called in a strenge voice. “please not now” he said, suddenly breathing heavily.
“you want to go see another woman? It’s fine, but at least have the decency to let me know and i would give you space”
He looked at me like i had just slapped him. “what?” he said, looking at me like i had slapped him across the face.
“Honestly, it is fine, i know you don’t…”
“Mika, i will give the world, my world, for you, but yer, it’s amazing that you still don’t know that” i nearly rolled my eyes.
“please, not all those cheesy lines to get me from being mad at you. Where the fuck do you go at night?”
“i…” he let out a sigh. “i am sorry, but i can’t tell you”
“you bastard” i sneered, taking him by surprise as he took a step back. I stood from where i sat, aggressively making my way towards him.
“i do not appreciate such.” i was matching furiously to him at the moment, tears falling down my face as i thought of him cheating, if i could even call it that.
“then why bring me out here, why make me come here all by myself.
I was pounding on his chest, demanding some answers but he stood quiet. “you would not even tell me…” then i saw it. His face twisted not in anger but pain.
“Darius?” i called, but he stood, unmoving, looking at me with pain before he fell to his knees. “Darius!!!!!!!!!” i screamed, holdinghis head so that he did not hit his head on the floor or something.
“a-air, i need air” he said, gasping that i cold barely make out what he said.
“what is going on!!!” fresh tears gathered my eyes this time arond, and it was not from thinking he was messing arond, no. It was the fact that he went from normal to pale “look, i am sorry okay? I just… lets just”
“get the windows open!!” it had become cold since we came here, the wind more than necessary. Winter seassion but i dared not questioned it. I rushed to the windows, swinging them open as quickly as i could.
I watched him take in a deep breath, relief flooding through him. “the oaks tree” he said quietly, that i almost did not get him.
I blinked, “where is that?” i tried to sound calm, not the panicking way i had sou nded few seconds ago.
He tried to stand up, grunting in thje process that i rushed to get him, assisting him as gently as i could. We walked outside, moving a distance from where the house was. “Darius? Are you sure you know where we are going?” he looked at me as best as he cold from the side before giving me a smile, but it did nothing to help how i was feeling on the inside.
“not to question your judgement or anything, but it’s just that people are starting to disappear from sight, and we have passed many trees that..”
“that one” he said, gently cutting me off. It seemed to be a field, one that was very much lonely looking.
We sat under it for the longest of time, not saying anything to each other. Darius’ breath filled the air, him breathing heavily sometimes and letting out air while commenting on the stars randomly. “you are beautiful, you know that?” he said, looking at me.
I could feel his eyes on me but i dared not look. It just, for some reason felt off to do. “i think yo should meet other people and…” my head snapped up to him. That familiar anger bubbling to the surface.
“there you fucking go! Wanting to push me away when… you know what? Just fucking do it” i said, standing up from the ground aggressively.
Somewhere along the line, i started to feel for Darius. I shook my head.
The feeling never left. The feelings from the first twwo weeks where we were in his room all the time, it never left. It was just covered up by hurt and anger. These past weeks had shown me that “if you want to be an arsehole, then you can just…”
“I am dying Mika” the words died on my tongue as he said that in a fit of anger.
I moved closer, my legs finding it difficult to even move from one point to the other.
I looked at him long and hard. “you think this is funny?” i said, waiting to see if he would burst into laughter and tell me how gullible i was, but it never came.
“i handed the throne, back at the kingdom to someone else. It would be a moment, before they realise that i am not coming, and then try to take over, but i trust him” he said, going on like he was talking about the weather.
“this place is fortified. As long as you do not leave this city, you shouldd be safe from Valarrak and…”
“Darius!!!!” i screamed, clutching on to my ear for my dear life. I did not want to hear it. “if you would stop being a jackass for a second!!!” i screamed, looking at him, tears running through my cheeks. “you think you can just leave me? You are my only family” i said, taking in a deep breath, but it felt as though my lungs had a mind of their own.
“I love you Mika, i am sorry it took so long to realise that, and even say it” he said, taking my hand, the same one i had the scar on all this time. “some things never fully heal. I know you might never, but i hope you forgive me” i snatched my hands from him.
“if you want me to forgive, you better stay alive to see that bloody forgiveness” he looked up at me, smirking in a way no person that was dying should.
“or i would follow right after” i said, looking him dead in the eye as i said that…