on the lips

on the lips
“all packed?” he said, coming to my room, standing at the door as he looked at me.
“yeah” i said, letting out a breath. “i can’t believe it” i said, looking at him with a sad smile.
It seemed to alarm him because he looked at me, taking a closer step at me before going back. “is… is something wrong?” he looked at me with wide eyes.
“it’s just… it took so hard for me… for us to get her. I just wished that there was no drama between us from the start” he nodded, shaking his head as i spoke.
“would you have wished different?” i asked, genuinely wanting to know his answer.
He was quiet for a while. “some of it, but not all of it” i looked at him, not wanting to believe what he had just said.
I felt my smile drop. “not all of it?” i felt myself
I froze when Darius said it.
“I wish,” he murmured, almost to himself, “that some parts of our first meeting had been different.”
Different.
The word slid into me like a blade I hadn’t seen coming. For a heartbeat, the room stayed quiet, too quiet before something inside my chest cracked open. I felt it first in my hands, the sudden tremor, the way my fingers curled like they wanted to tear something apart.
“Different?” I echoed, my voice low.
Darius looked up then, finally realizing he’d struck something raw. “Mika, that’s not—”
I laughed, sharp and humorless. “No, don’t,” I snapped. “Finish it. Tell me exactly what you wish had been different.”
He hesitated. That hesitation was enough.
Something ugly surged up my spine, hot and blinding. All the memories I kept locked away—the fear, the confusion, the way the air had felt heavy around me back then—came crashing forward at once.
“You hated it,” I said, my voice rising. “That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it? You hated how we met. You hated who I was then.”
“That’s not true,” he said quickly, stepping closer. “I hated what you were put through. I hated the circumstances we met.”
I shoved him back, hard enough that even he seemed startled. “Liar.”
The word tasted bitter and sweet all at once.
“You loved it,” I went on, the rage finally spilling over. “You loved the way everything bowed to you. You loved the oppressive weight of it all—the fear, the control, the way I had no choice but to stand there and endure you.”
“Mika—”
“You loved it,” I shouted. “Don’t pretend you didn’t.”
My chest heaved, each breath burning. I could feel magic prickling under my skin, wild and unstable, responding to my fury. The room seemed to tighten, shadows stretching unnaturally along the walls. “YOU WISHED FOR THINGS TO BE DIFFERENT!!” he boomed, making me blink in shock. “so why can’t i?”
“it was different for me” my voice came in a hushed whisper “I was terrified,” I said, my voice breaking despite myself. “And you stood there like a god, looking down at me like I was nothing. And now you’re telling me you wish it had been different?” I shook my head, laughing again. “No. You don’t get to rewrite it now that it hurts to remember.”
His face had gone pale. “I wish it had been different because you deserved better,” he said quietly. “Not because I enjoyed it.”
I turned away, my nails digging into my palms. “You can say that now,” I whispered. “Now that I’m stronger. Now that I can look you in the eye without shaking.”
The silence between us stretched, thick and suffocating.
“When you say you wish it was different,” I continued, “all I hear is that you regret me seeing you for who you really were.”
“That’s not who I am anymore,” he said.
I spun back toward him, tears burning hot and furious. “But it was who you were. And I lived through it. I don’t get to change that, no matter how much you wish you could.”
He looked at me long and hard, no doubt thinking that i was crazy for how i was acting out.
“look” he said, holding me by the sholders. “i don’t know what is going on, but i promise you its nothing like that… okay?” he did not yell, he did not seem frustrated. Just a patient person hoping that i understood what he was saying
I nodded. “you know?” he said, straightening his back as he saw that i understood what it was that he was saying. “life is to short to be doing all of this.. fighting” i looking at me with a pleading gaze.
I sighed, nodding my head. “I am sorry, i think i overreacted. I just..” i sighed again. He seemed to understand because he came closer, wrapping his hands around me.
“i am sorry… okay?” i was lost for a moment.
When did Darius become so…. sweet? I bliked, trying not to let it get to my head.
I pulled away from him.
I couldn’t breathe in that silence a second longer.
“So,” I said abruptly, forcing my voice to sound lighter than I felt, “where are we going?”
The question hung there, deliberate, clumsy, obvious.
Darius looked at me with a smile on his face
I watched his shoulders rise and fall once before he turned to face me. The tension didn’t leave his eyes, but something else replaced it something intent, unreadable. Dangerous in a quieter way.
“Mika,” he said.
I frowned. “I was just asking—”
Before I could react, before I could even finish my thought, his hand came up to my jaw and he kissed me.
It wasn’t gentle.
It wasn’t rough either.
I froze.
Every nerve in my body lit up at once. Shock rushed through me first, then heat, then something dizzying that made my knees threaten to give out. My heart slammed so hard against my ribs it felt like it might bruise.
He pulled back just enough for his forehead to rest against mine.
I stared at him, stunned, my mouth still tingling where his had been. “You—” I swallowed. “You just—”
A faint smile tugged at his lips, careful and restrained, like he knew exactly what he’d done. “You wanted to change the subject,” he said quietly, the smile still not leaving his face