Chapter Seventy-Seven
When Ellie next opened her eyes, she was confused. She was in a clearing, standing near a small, clear pond. A thick forest surrounded her, and an assortment of wildflowers peppered the ground. She spun slowly, searching for... something. Or perhaps someone? She wasn't sure. It wasn't until she heard the small tinkling of bells that she understood.
*Ah. I see.* Instead of venturing into the forest, she found a large mossy rock near the pond and sat down. She stretched her feet out in front of her and leaned back, gazing up at the hazy blue sky. Birdsong filled the air, and she could hear small creatures playing just inside the forest. If she had been here under different circumstances, then she would feel happy, peaceful even.
But the longer she sat there, the more her tears fell silently down her face. She couldn't feel the sunshine that shone down on her, nor could she be moved by the beauty of the world around her. All she could feel was the cold, hollow pain of loss. Ellie sat there, feeling nothing but sorrow, until she heard a pair of small feet move through the forest.
She climbed slowly to her feet and turned to face him, her heart shattering at the sad look on his face.
"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you," Aldred whispered.
"Can you at least tell me why?"
"All I can say is that this way is the better of the two choices." Aldred took a tentative step toward her, waiting for her to forgive him. Ellie opened her arms and Aldred rushed forward, his small body colliding into hers. "I truly am sorry, Mama... I... I was never meant to walk in your world. This was the easiest way for you and Father to lose me," he mumbled against her chest.
"My poor baby. You never had a chance, did you?" she asked sadly. She felt Aldred shake his head and squeezed her eyes shut. It's not fair. Why? Why would you take something so precious from me before -- Her angry thoughts were broken by Aldred's small voice.
"I hope you can forgive me, Mama. I never wanted to cause you pain, but if I'd stayed..." he began sobbing, unable to continue.
Ellie gathered him into her arms and settled back onto the rock. She cradled Aldred, rocking him back and forth soothingly until his sobbing was reduced to little more than sniffles. She pushed her pain aside and placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head.
"My sweet child, there is nothing for me to forgive. If this was the best for you, then it was what needed to happen. I do not blame you for this, nor do I blame myself. If things had been different, perhaps you would have been able to grow to be just like your father... or you may have not been strong enough to make it to adulthood. This is what life is: hard, cold, brutal." She gently pushed Aldred back and looked down at him. "But it is also soft, warm, and tender. You may not be with us in the physical world, but you will always be with us in everything we do. You are a part of us -- a part of our lives, however fleeting it may be. And we will love you even when there is nothing left in existence. So please, don't cry." She wiped a stray tear from his face and gave him a watery smile.
"I love you, Mama."
"And I love you, Aldred."
Nothing more was said between them -- nothing more needed to be said. Ellie understood that though it hurt now, it would hurt her far more if Aldred had been born. She couldn't understand why that would be, but she knew that it must have something to do with the Master and the Mistress. The thought of them made the pain in her heart change from cold, searing ice into a hot, fiery rage.
*I will do everything in my power to bring them down. No more lives will be lost because of them, *she vowed silently. She tightened her grip on Aldred protectively and placed another kiss on his head. Thoughts of her mother overwhelmed her, and she suddenly understood everything that she'd tried to teach Ellie before she died. Resolve washed over her, settling her aching heart, and Ellie was finally able to fully enjoy this last moment with Aldred.
*"When our moon has gone,
"And the stars lose their shine,
"Remember that I love you,
"Remember that you are mine."
"When the sun has faded,
"And the world refuses to turn,
"Don't let the darkness take you,
"Let your inner light burn."
"We'll dance with our mothers,
"And feast with our fathers,
"When there is nothing left,
"We will remain unbothered."
"For we are the chosen,
"The ones whose love is true,
"We will live forever,
"In the light of a new moon."
"When the new moon comes,
"And we dance around new stars,
"Remember that I love you,
"From the bottom of my heart."*
The song was something that Ellie had forgotten long ago, burying it with many of her horrific memories of the basement. But being here with Aldred, holding him the same way her mother held her, cut through her hidden memories, bringing it to the front of her mind. Her mother would sing this to Ellie when they'd had an especially rough day with her father. No matter how broken or bruised her mother had been, she would cradle Ellie on the bed and sing this song to her as she tried to fall asleep.
She didn't understand what it meant when she was young, but now...
The world around them began to distort and fade. The sounds of the forest and the pond became damp, muffled. She knew that she would wake soon, but part of her wanted to stay here with Aldred forever.
"It's time to go, Mama. I'll be here for you when it's time to come back," he promised.
"I know. Be good, Aldred. I'll see you later, little love."
"I love you, Mama."
The world was a blinding white now, so bright that Ellie had to close her eyes tightly. However, in the absence of everything, she could still feel Aldred clinging to her, giving her one final squeeze before he disappeared.
"I love you, Aldred. Always and forever."
Author Note:
Hi, all! I apologize for the long delay. My personal life hasn't gotten better as far as my mother is concerned, and I've been focusing all my energy on her as well as my own physical and mental health. I can't promise daily or weekly updates -- given the circumstances, it's just not possible. However, as I've said before, I will NOT give up on this story.
I do ask that you perhaps send my mom some positive thoughts and vibes. Without getting into too much detail, I'll say that we're hoping to have her around for at least a couple of more years. I will do my best to write and update, but I hope you can forgive me if I go MIA again. I'm doing my best, and I hope that the story I give you will be something that you love in the end.
Remember to reach out if you're struggling, go see a doctor if something is bothering you, and take care of yourselves. I love you all, and I can't wait to finish this story with you.